The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
Entries Authored By: Neal
168 Entries on This Page
In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin
Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, did I say bus? I meant brothel.
Added: 02/09/2009
Peaches and CREAM!
Years later, Neal and George had limited success as the Rollerderby team, "Peaches and CREAM!"
Added: 02/10/2009
EastKippur
In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel irony wherein children are surrounded by chocolate rabbits but denied the opportunity to eat them.
Added: 02/12/2009
Tooth-whitening Toothpaste
George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "paste" was merely the inside of a Twinkie®, sales plummeted, except in Europe.
Added: 02/12/2009
We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic
In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping success or an utter failure, as George and Neal never unlocked the doors to the clinic, assuming those w... Read More
Added: 02/13/2009
Synchronized Swimming
Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.
Added: 02/13/2009
We the Bad-Ass Americans
George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-line, except that now the Declaration of Independence says, "We the Bad-Ass Americans", and where the s... Read More
Added: 02/15/2009
Breakin'!
In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the movie "Breakin'! 2: Electric Boogaloo" as Funkmaster Funky Funk McFunkster. The acting skills exhibite... Read More
Added: 02/15/2009
Zardoz
When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (l... Read More
Views: 430/12750
Added: 02/17/2009
We talked in haiku, | And then in anagrams, too. | Darned nuts, understand?
For a period of six months, George and Neal spoke only in haiku - followed by another period where they spoke only in anagrams. No one understood a single thing they said. So, it was the same as usual, really.
Added: 02/18/2009
Science Donations
In 1999, Neal tried to give his body to science. After 30 days, his body was returned as being defective.
Added: 02/18/2009
Robot Enslavement
In 2015, robots took over the world. Not as scary as you'd think. The robots were friendly, personable, and wonderful leaders of the enslaved human race. This robotic takeover had nothing to do with George and Neal. Or did it?
Added: 02/19/2009
Infecting 1002
In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrived in 1002. They tagged along with a group of colonists, accidentally spreading an epidemic among the... Read More
Added: 02/22/2009
Geal
In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part because George and Neal scared the townsfolk with smoke, mirrors, and a conveniently placed donkey. The... Read More
Added: 02/24/2009
Hollywood DermaFleck
In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted exactly how you think. Surprisingly, years later they restarted the business but marketed the produc... Read More
Added: 02/26/2009
Basic Instinct
George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role would conflict with his ongoing protest against poodles (don't ask), Sharon Stone got the part.
Added: 02/28/2009
George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe
In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infringement of likeness rights. Neal was inspired by George's successful suit a few years earlier for the ... Read More
Views: 379/5665
Added: 02/28/2009
Kidnapped by Ninjas
In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesome karate skills. He was overpowered by the remaining 342 ninjas). Thus, George set on his 14 day que... Read More
Views: 448/5625
Added: 03/01/2009
2015
In 2015 George and Neal will have finalized all of the details surrounding their friendship. That is, until 2016, when they will have to chronicle all that occurred in 2015.
Added: 03/02/2009
George & Neal's Excellent Adventure
In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Ne... Read More
Added: 03/05/2009
Fear Factor Delicacies
In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later learned in fact that George had merely played a practical joke and he was never on Fear Factor. Neal ... Read More
Added: 03/07/2009
The DHARMA Initiative
In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse. Also, to make peanut butter that won't stick to the roof of your mouth. Unfortunately, there are t... Read More
Added: 03/09/2009
Just Another Barbecue
In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, there were hordes of zombies at the barbecue that George and Neal had to battle. Almost forgot about t... Read More
Views: 609/8762
Added: 03/10/2009
Sisters of Endless Guilt
In 1962 George and Neal dressed as nuns and moved into the Sisters of Endless Guilt convent, just for kicks. We lived there for three and a half months before we were discovered. After being sent out of the convent we took our habits to Antarctica to... Read More
Added: 03/11/2009
The Prolific Pancake Pileup
Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were ... Read More
Added: 03/12/2009
Darwin Loves Us!
In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.
Added: 03/13/2009
Able Archer 83: The Origin
In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst case scenario of war. Unfortunately, Neal forgot to tell the Soviet Union about George's game/simulatio... Read More
Added: 03/14/2009
Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire
In 2006, Neal appeared on the television spin off, "Who Wants to Be a Hundred-Aire". Neal did not win the hundred dollars.
Added: 03/15/2009
Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power
In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has been sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth ever since. On the plus side, George realized he could... Read More
Views: 498/9188
Added: 03/16/2009
Broccloaf
In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not to be outdone, Neal created the vegetarian alternative, Broccloaf. It tastes terrible. The Scottish ... Read More
Added: 03/18/2009
Oh God I Shot Momma
In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that same year Neal was beaten by Albert Einstein at both chess and wrestling - at the same time. That guy ... Read More
Added: 03/18/2009
Worst... Enya... Ever...
George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his present time. George tells everyone he meets this fact. In 2000, Neal was the sixth Backstreet Boy. ... Read More
Added: 03/20/2009
Mmmmmmm... George Juice!
For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spices"). In 2004, George bottled and sold the bathsauce under the moniker "George Juice". Its sales are... Read More
Views: 486/8867
Added: 03/20/2009
Constitutionally Safe
A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again. Luckily George and Neal were able to organize a filibuster and then ear mark the bill with enough j... Read More
Added: 03/21/2009
Sorry-for-the-Hyphens
In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor semi-autobiographical hits, including: "This-Restraining-Order-Means-I-Love-You"; "Please-Don't-Throw-... Read More
Added: 03/22/2009
Definitely not Vain
In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy love affair with George. Making it even more ironic, George had no idea the song was about him.
Added: 03/23/2009
We're Not Bigfoot
George and Neal are both virile, macho men - so much so that if they did not shave for two days, hair would grow all over their body, making them look "ape-like." Occasionally, they do not shave, but still appear in public. This explains the constant... Read More
Added: 03/24/2009
It Was A Big Stapler
In 1959, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on. Please.
Added: 03/24/2009
Procrastinat... I'll finish later...
Despite having a time machine, George and Neal are terrible procrastinators. In fact the time travelling makes things even worse because they just skip around due dates.
Added: 03/24/2009
Free TV!
George and Neal can view the entire electromagnetic spectrum, not only visible light. This has many uses and has helped us with our amazing achievements. We are also able to listen to radio and watch TV by directly observing their transmission signal... Read More
Added: 03/25/2009
George Spores
In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believed he was on to something when he created "George Spores", which grew from George's feet. In reality... Read More
Added: 03/25/2009
Viking/English Hostility
On June 8, 793 AD George and Neal orchestrated the first Viking attack on England; the raid on the monastery of Lindisfarne in Northumbria. This was the beginning the Viking Age and nearly 300 years of Viking/English hostility until George and Neal h... Read More
Added: 03/26/2009
Slap-Bracelets: The Origin
In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hund... Read More
Added: 03/26/2009
1964 through 1969
In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two au... Read More
Views: 428/6811
Added: 03/28/2009
Feats of Strength!™
In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, w... Read More
Added: 03/29/2009
Ralph Malph
In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lost millions investing in a Fonzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay Ralph Malph. Geor... Read More
Added: 04/02/2009
The Neo-Geo Fanclub
In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of pulleys and levers connected to highly explosive nitroglycerin. This invention did nothing - except... Read More
Added: 04/03/2009
Religious iDeals
In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and ... Read More
Added: 04/05/2009
The Georgeless Bunch
In 1969, George was up for the role as Greg Brady on the show The Brady Bunch. However, George did not get the part due to "accidentally" throwing a football at Maureen McCormick's face after she rejected his awkward advances (well, at least, they we... Read More
Added: 04/07/2009
P & VP
Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice President of the United States. Before the mistake was corrected, George and Neal passed a series of laws t... Read More
Added: 04/09/2009
Rudolph: The Origin
In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose t... Read More
Added: 04/12/2009
Sinatra Sluggers
In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather because as George put it, "hey, we have a time machine, wouldn't that be just awesome to do?" To which ... Read More
Added: 04/15/2009
Lavender, Lavender Everywhere
In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the problem. But... how could that possibly have happened, if they negated existence? My head hurts. Oh, also,... Read More
Views: 381/4292
Added: 04/17/2009
iKing George
In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year iKing George commenced an insane endeavor to name everyone and everything George, or variations ther... Read More
Views: 733/6989
Added: 04/22/2009
Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless
In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George informed Neal that the unicorns were only mythical and that Neal's protest was essentially imaginary. ... Read More
Added: 04/22/2009
Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint
For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their foray into costumed adventures was cut short sadly, due to a restraining order (which I am restricted f... Read More
Added: 04/22/2009
Cookin' with Martha and Neal
In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; however, relations between Martha and Neal became strained, resulting in an on-air, climactic and violent... Read More
Added: 04/22/2009
Godzilla
In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drinking random test tubes of unknown substances in hopes of becoming giddily intoxicated). Unfortunately... Read More
Views: 392/9570
Added: 04/24/2009
After-School Specials
In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (and still be traumatized by) their shows, including the safety episode, "Where did my thumb go?: Lit... Read More
Added: 05/01/2009
1234 PAR-TAY!
In the year 1234 George and Neal threw a year-long party because that's just a really cool number for a year. George and Neal refuse to go to the year 4321, in an effort to avoid being redundant.
Added: 05/04/2009
It's Not a Jewish eBay
In 2014, Neal and George created the website, "Oybay", the very first auction website devoted entirely to the sale and purchase of Jewish items.
Added: 05/04/2009
Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice with elements of modern zombie fiction), Neal and George decided to pen a few of thei... Read More
Added: 05/08/2009
Aging gracefully...
Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a high risk of imploding the universe - also, doing so causes all baked goods to smell like old cheese... Read More
Added: 05/11/2009
Rrhrrrhhhhrrrrrrrgrrhh
In 2030, Neal became a monosyllabic, drooling, undead zombie. No one noticed the difference until 2033.
Added: 05/12/2009
Neality TV
After the success of the show "The L-Word", Neal and George produced a television show based upon Neal's life. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that a television show called "The N-Word" was destined for failure. The show based on George's ... Read More
Added: 05/12/2009
Super George Brothers
In 1981, George created a ground-breaking side-scrolling video game, Super George Brothers. The game chronicled George's love of eating weird mushrooms he would find on the ground, running around without a shirt, and his penchant for jumping on turtl... Read More
Added: 05/18/2009
Play With George's Balls!
Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to ke... Read More
Added: 05/18/2009
Fun With Genetics
Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted like chicken. Unfortunately, this backfired, and now nearly all chickens found in the Midwest taste li... Read More
Added: 05/27/2009
HeadPeriodical
In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-off and inferior to FB, the website was largely dismissed. Their advertising campaign, "Because Your ... Read More
Added: 05/27/2009
Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'
In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tr... Read More
Added: 06/01/2009
Vatican Idol and Spin-offs
In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singing, weird eyebrows, crooked teeth, mismatched nostrils.... [editor's note: many of Neal's failings h... Read More
Added: 06/02/2009
Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper
Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, the harmonica, comprised of marshmallows, candy canes, and prunes (monikered "Marshmonica") was crit... Read More
Added: 06/03/2009
Ten Cent Beer Night
On June 4th, 1974 George and Neal organized the first (and last) ever Ten Cent Beer Night at the Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The event was both a raging success and huge failure depending on your point of view. While increasing the attendance three-... Read More
Added: 06/05/2009
Starring George & Neal!!!
Wanting to attain fame, but hoping to do so with as little effort as humanly possible, George and Neal went back in time to be recast in Hollywood blockbuster movies and shows. First, Neal "borrowed" Barret Oliver's role in The Neverending Story.... Read More
Added: 06/06/2009
2008 Election Campaigns
During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writing "Obama Told Me (You Better Shop Around)," "Obama Told Me There'd Be Day's Like This", and "Obama ... Read More
Added: 06/06/2009
Pleasurebots: The Origin
2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to their wives during these long absences, George and Neal created "Pleasurebots" - robots that could *a... Read More
Added: 06/25/2009
Team Ghandi
In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team never won a single game, as instead of hitting the ball, the players tried to reason with it through ... Read More
Added: 06/29/2009
Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin
In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak moment.) George, on the other hand, ordered hundreds of gallons of ice cream - that wasn't a mistake eit... Read More
Added: 07/01/2009
Duels of Toxicity
Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The party would always devolve towards the end to drunken arguments as to who had the more "explosive" *a... Read More
Added: 07/02/2009
We Didn't Do 'Q'
In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confusing it with a period. Now people correctly trail off dreamily when they encounter ellipses instead o... Read More
Added: 07/07/2009
The Lazy X
In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chromosome. This explains why most men are less productive (and let's face it, hygienic) than women. Of c... Read More
Views: 317/5296
Added: 07/07/2009
George, Digitally Inserted
In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more because of Lucas's awesome first name), George asked to be involved in the Star Wars prequels. However, w... Read More
Added: 07/10/2009
Everybody Poops
In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and Neal decided to adapt their favorite book, Everybody Poops, as a choose your own adventure book. Un... Read More
Added: 07/23/2009
Emoticlish
Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to in most nations), the phrase "ESL" will refer to "Emoticons as Second Language". Universal Keyboards ... Read More
Views: 296/5638
Added: 07/30/2009
George Jaros's Punch Out
In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it been released in its original incarnation, George Jaros's Punch Out.... Read More
Views: 359/5364
Added: 08/08/2009
The Rolling Beatles
So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go back in time and force John and Paul to join forces with Mick and Keith. Thus, the band "The Rolling... Read More
Added: 08/09/2009
It's All Relative
On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Neal's great-grandfather. While George found this unintended consequence hilarious, Neal did not find t... Read More
Added: 08/11/2009
Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent
Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. The downside? All the faceless people. Very creepy. Also, the conflicting laws of gravity made going ... Read More
Added: 08/11/2009
1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series
In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a strange odor. After a few innings, George became so upset by the noxious smell, he complained to P.K.... Read More
Added: 08/15/2009
An end to worldwide tortoise hunger!
In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only really "wasting" one hour. They would sleep from 10 p.m. to 11 p.m., wake up, go back in time to 10 p.m.,... Read More
Views: 331/7856
Added: 08/19/2009
The George and Neal Newsnetwork
In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork (or "GNN"). GNN hit an all-time high Nielsen rating during Neal's cooking show with Martha Stewart ... Read More
Added: 08/20/2009
Connect One
After "Connect the Dot" the movie broke box office records, George and Neal decided to create a new game upon which to base another movie. The result? Connect One, an instant classic.
Added: 08/20/2009
I Dare You!
On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occ... Read More
Added: 08/25/2009
Metric Woes
Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring system in favor of the "Jarmonorgeal" system. Unfortunately, the Jarmonorgeal system did not allevia... Read More
Added: 09/02/2009
There's Waldo!!!
In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakdown, George decided to help his friend, as well as the public at large, by publishing "There's Waldo... Read More
Views: 414/9958
Added: 09/04/2009
No Photoshopping Allowed
In 2041, someone had the gall to accuse George and Neal of photoshopping images of their great accomplishments. George and Neal quickly provided hundreds of additional photos in response to the allegation proving that they did not engage in any photo... Read More
Added: 09/05/2009
Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....
In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gat... Read More
Added: 09/06/2009
New George and New Neal
On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to create New George and New Neal. Much like the New Coke, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and th... Read More
Added: 09/08/2009
Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy
In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was a hit, especially in the "Males, ages 13-18" demographic. There was much praise. And lawsuits. Lots ... Read More
Added: 09/13/2009
Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce
In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make ... Read More
Added: 09/18/2009
Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk!
In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - well, everyone except Bob Barker, who received copious amounts of angry letters from the critters. G... Read More
Added: 09/28/2009
Huh huh huh, you said 'deep'...
On May 11, 1997, "Deep Blue", a chess-playing computer developed by IBM, won a six-game match by two wins to one with three draws against world champion Garry Kasparov. George believed he do could much better than Kasparov, and challenged the compute... Read More
Added: 09/29/2009
The Recession: The Origin
In 2003, becoming increasingly paranoid that officials at the Pentagon were conspiring against him, George W. Bush asked that George and Neal create the Hexagon, a secret governmental branch whose sole purpose was only to monitor the Pentagon. Later,... Read More
Added: 10/01/2009
On Online Dating
After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their own dating websites, including: - "Hey-Hey-Hey" Date, the world's largest singles network for those... Read More
Views: 364/12424
Added: 10/04/2009
Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter)
By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves, Ask.com, Goodsearch, SearchMe, Wheresthatdangwebsite.com and 150 million others) that George ... Read More
Added: 10/10/2009
People Against Kneeling
In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may still retain their "Ms." nomenclature). Neal was abducted solely because his name could be construed... Read More
Added: 11/19/2009
Two Seamstresses, One Thimble
In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral video, "Two Seamstresses, One Thimble."
Added: 11/19/2009
Horton Hears A Gremlin
In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow ... Read More
Added: 12/02/2009
Apples freakin' hurt.
After hearing that Isaac Newton once disparaged Neal's great-great-great-great Grandfather's honor, George and Neal went back to 1666, and chucked an apple at his head. Incidentally, this led to the discovery of gravity by the somewhat confused scien... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Couch Potatoes Illustrated
Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started th... Read More
Added: 12/10/2009
Restraining Orders Suck
Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away fro... Read More
Added: 01/29/2010
Just don't use it on your clothes, please.
In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
Everything is About George
After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the beginning of that conversation), and invented a ray that temporarily made it so that anything and everyth... Read More
Added: 08/09/2010
The Idiots Guide To Circumcision
In 1995, George and Neal published the first ever "Idiots Guide To..." book under the pseudonyms "Astronauts Thomas D. Jones, Ph.D. and Michael Benson", respectively. Unfortunately, it was only after printing 10,000 copies that they realized there w... Read More
Added: 08/24/2012
Nealocrats and Georgicans
In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified governmental system known as Neorgitarians. But by 2035, the unification was no more - the group had ... Read More
Views: 407/3296
Added: 08/25/2012
Nanas & Tiaras
Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show, "Nanas & Tiaras".
Added: 08/25/2012
Welcome aboard Adin!
In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and adventures. George and Neal were readily willing to include him in their time-travel and general awes... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Going all Einstein on your mouth...
In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current... Read More
Added: 08/26/2012
Welcome Back Potter
Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measur... Read More
Added: 08/27/2012
Sleep Sleep Revolution
Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.
Added: 08/27/2012
The 3 Stooges: The Origin
In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute shorts, wherein the three gentlemen treated each other with utmost respect and kindness. Much of th... Read More
Added: 08/28/2012
Chronal Warriors George
With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effo... Read More
Views: 451/9615
Added: 09/01/2012
Clint Ain't Wacko!
In August 2012, Clint Eastwood was thought to have embarrassed himself at the Republican National Convention by pretending to argue with an invisible President Obama, when in actuality he was merely talking with an empty chair. Most of the world cut... Read More
Added: 09/09/2012
3014 Was Weird
In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic radiation on the visible spectrum (the R and the G were notably absent, leaving only the B - which a... Read More
Added: 09/23/2012
History came alive, boy howdy!
This wasn't the first time that George and Neal had a monumental impact on the mathematical world. In 2012, while bored one weekend, they decided to become experts in astrophysics, physics, and a host of other scientific topics. Along the way, they... Read More
Added: 09/24/2012
George Neal
In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. ... Read More
Added: 09/24/2012
Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016
Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises, George and Neal decided to run for president in 2016. Problems quickly arose when the two could no... Read More
Added: 10/18/2012
What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.
Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on... Read More
Added: 10/20/2012
Where did 'C' go?
Unfortunately, sometimes George and Neal's time (mis)adventures cause unforeseeable consequences. For example, in 1978, the letter/sound "c" was eliminated. As a result, people drove ars, threw things using the atapult and Neal's wife was renamed "... Read More
Added: 10/22/2012
Cow Experimentation
In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high intelligence. As a result, George and Neal became strict vegetarians, and hid the nation's beef. Thi... Read More
Added: 10/22/2012
Luckily for cats, this was a very short period.
During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see www.george-and-neal-are-not-awesome.info), they invented Cat Baseball. It... did not end well.
Views: 351/7785
Added: 02/11/2013
It Hood Ats Fla Was
In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's Siri). Although the program was widely adopted as a result of George and Neal's popularity, it was ... Read More
Added: 02/12/2013
Kick-Ball Ball-Kick
Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created the first kickball that could kick back. Although the game became much more challenging, it also beca... Read More
Views: 410/4936
Added: 02/20/2013
Rhymes with 'Orange'
Upon hearing that no word in the English language rhymed with "orange," in 1986, George invented the word "sporange" just so one would exist. Years later, its definition still remains a mystery (although curiously, three people have thus far been con... Read More
Added: 03/22/2013
Swingin' Records!
In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (19... Read More
Added: 04/19/2013
Presidential Fight Club
In 1947, Neal convinced Governor Thomas E. Dewey not to run for president, but rather to run as Neal's Vice President. George, hearing of this, was insulted Neal did not ask him to run as Neal's VP. In retaliation, George convinced Harry Truman to ... Read More
Added: 08/23/2013
Role Playing, SFW-style
In 2013, Neal introduced George to the role-playing game, Dungeons and Dragons. George thought it was fantastic, as it blended his love of story telling, games, and sexy goblins. However, both Neal and George found the game's storylines much too v... Read More
Added: 09/24/2013
The Extreme-est of Makeovers
Tired of trying to do fifteen things at once but failing miserably (well, failing miserably at four, failing happily at six, performing moderately at nine, and skillfully completing three tasks - wait, is my math correct? Uh... I'm not good at non-... Read More
Added: 09/30/2013
The only way to beat a hipster is to become one. Or hit them with a heavy object.
Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
Heavy Petting
In 1975, Gary Dahl became a millionaire virtually overnight when he invented the "pet rock." He marketed it as the perfect pet - one that did not need to be fed, walked, groomed or bathed. Ignoring this selling point and wanting in on the action, G... Read More
Added: 10/01/2013
Hair Raising Adventure
George and Neal are heavily involved in charity work. For example, during November 1990, they both participated in "No Shave November" (a.k.a. Movember). Wisely, they went from century to century, building a pledge base that spanned hundreds of yea... Read More
Added: 11/21/2013
It's Magically Disgusting!
On April 12, 2012, the matching game, Candy Crush, was released on Facebook. Less than one year later, Candy Crush became the most popular game on Facebook, with 46 million monthly users. Most people do not realize that this is simply a rip-off of ... Read More
Added: 11/30/2013
Happy Chomp-akah
Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.
Added: 12/05/2013
Those Look Like Comfortable Shoes
In 1937, scientist Daniel Bovet created the first antihistamine to combat allergies. Flash forward forty years later, to 1977 - another allergy-related breakthrough: George and Neal create the Ah-Ah-Shoe!, the first antihistamine-laced shoe which th... Read More
Added: 12/08/2013
Monkey Back Guarantee!
In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hair on your back by 650%. They were so confident that the lotion would work that they offered a "monk... Read More
Added: 04/11/2014
Like a Boss
Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
Added: 04/11/2014
Books Change Lives (In Terribly Manipulative Ways)!
In 1957, scientists discovered that children were suffering from extremely low self-esteem. To combat this, George and Neal created an award-winning series of books that sought to increase kids’ self esteem. Unfortunately, this plan backfired as b... Read More
Added: 04/11/2014
Fotomat Selfie
As a result of Instagram’s success in 2010, on April 1, 2010 George and Neal went back to 1980 and changed the names of all the “FotoMats” to “Sometime-Later-Gram’s". No one got the joke for 30 years.... Read More
Views: 548/5681
Added: 04/11/2014
Like a Rock
After the hit song “What Does the Fox Say” became the top trending video of 2013, George and Neal released their song, “What Does The Rock Say”. It was 5 minutes of silence. It was a big hit among monks.... Read More
Views: 607/1842
Added: 04/12/2014
Join the Moebius Strip Club
In 2015, tired of hearing all about his father's "great adventures" with George, Adin decided to put a stop to it (and have some fun in the process). At first, he went back in time to 1996, causing George to befriend him instead of Neal. The result... Read More
Added: 04/24/2014
No One Out Quotes The Donald
Did you know that George and Neal have written speeches for so many great politicians? Some of their best work includes:“I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.” - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House“It's time for the hum... Read More
Added: 12/31/2015
Present Cookies. Which could also be given as presents. So, a double win.
In 1918, David Jung (arguably) invented the fortune cookie. Given its immense popularity, George and Neal created a cookie that told you your present. With messages such as “You just ate some food”, “You have just paid your bill” and “this cookie w... Read More
Added: 01/03/2016
Mmmm.... Gluten...
In 2010, George and Neal created a line of delicious, gluten-free food for those with gluten sensitivities. The food line was a gigantic hit for hundreds of years. As a result, however, George and Neal amassed large stockpiles of gluten which they ... Read More
Views: 283/5048
Added: 01/04/2016
World's First Selfie
It was widely thought that Robert Cornelius took the very first self-portrait (or "selfie") in 1839. However, the truth is, not surprisingly, much more complicated than that. When Robert's friend, Herman "Twitchy" Aaron saw the selfie, he became in... Read More
Added: 05/28/2016
It Stinks!
Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no food critics willing to give any positive reviews to restaurants. Every review contained only scathing... Read More
Added: 07/09/2016
Pokemon STOP
In 2016, the phone app Pokemon:GO! was extremely popular. Kids, adults, and chimpanzees capable of stealing iPhones were all playing this highly addictive game, involving searching real-world locations to "capture" Pokemon characters.What people don... Read More
Added: 07/20/2016
The Guide to Everything
It surely goes without saying that, for thousands of years, George and Neal had an enormous impact on pop culture. They affected everything from television shows to movies, music to currency (especially during 2037-2062 where they convinced the worl... Read More
Added: 08/08/2016
Bio-Autobiography
In 4020, George's clone wrote a biography about George's exciting, almost unbelievable life; however, since it was his life too, the clone technically composed the world's first "bio-autobiography". Interestingly, "Original George" (who unfortunatel... Read More
Added: 09/21/2016
Presidential Passion!
Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time machine (which explains why many of his movies are so historically accurate), and he used it to once... Read More
Added: 01/25/2017
Settling The Great Debate
In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their environment, George and Neal traveled to 1990 and created the rap/ska musical group Naughty b... Read More
Added: 08/06/2017
A Worthy Cause!
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a story about a child born as an old man who aged in reverse, wasn’t always a work of fiction. Originally, there were multiple cases of children born as old people who then aged in reverse. In 2068, George and N... Read More
Views: 431/2348
Added: 08/07/2017
Pre-Plagarism
On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before N... Read More
Added: 08/09/2017
I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy
During 2003, while involved in their historic "Dare Ya..." competitions, Neal said, "George, I dare ya to create a real life Ziggy," (the adorable, nonthreatening newspaper comic strip character). Neal was deeply satisfied with this dare, as he knew... Read More
Added: 09/11/2017
Now THAT's a Timeline!
For many years, the makers of the card game Timeline sought to create a “George and Neal”-centric game. However, given the convoluted and ever-changing history affected by the duo’s chronal exploits, it made creating the game impossible. It was onl... Read More
Added: 10/02/2018
Happy 10th - no wait - 1020th anniversary!
February 2019 marks the 10th anniversary of the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! ....well, February 2019 did originally. Then George took the chronicles to 1009 a.d., to let the masses enjoy such a g... Read More
Added: 01/14/2019
George and Neal: Confession Time
George and Neal have constantly manipulated reality through their countless (well, really infinite, if you consider the multiverse versions of George and Neal) time traveling. Their efforts have benefited the universe over and over. For example, ma... Read More
Added: 03/06/2019
We Got (no) Game!
Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not yet imagined and conquering those) George and Neal's traveled to 1990 to become world-renowned athlete... Read More
Added: 02/08/2021
Down With The Sickness
When the 2020 COVID pandemic hit, it crippled many industries. In hopes of giving a little back - as well as propping up the critically important Broadway play financial sector, George wrote, produced, and acted in the pandemic-themed "Socially Dist... Read More
Added: 02/10/2021
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So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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