Entries From Tuesday, August 11, 2009
4 Entries on This Page
On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Neal's great-grandfather. While George found this unintended consequence hilarious, Neal did not find this funny whatsoever. As payback, Neal seduced George's great-great grandmother. Super-humanly virile, Neal became George's great-great grandfather. Upset, George thereafter seduced Neal's great-great-great grandmother (after first accidentally seducing his great-great-great grandfather - could have happened to anyone). This went back and forth so many times that Neal's and George's family trees became so convoluted and confusing it would have made M.C. Escher proud.
Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. The downside? All the faceless people. Very creepy. Also, the conflicting laws of gravity made going to the bathroom very, very complicated and often times messy.
Reason #85 why neither George nor Neal will win "Father of the Year": telling their children the bathroom is downstairs.
Photo by: Neal
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Photos by: Neal
In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this baby making was a new sport, which took America by storm. By 2015 it will be the second largest organized professional sport (right behind curling - yeah, it takes off next summer), enjoyed by millions of fans around the world. The Extreme Mobile Watching League, more commonly known as ExMo, spawned a whole family of spin-off sports, like Competition Crawling and the annual Spit-up Spectacular. In 2016 the IISL (International Infant Sporting League) was formed to encompass ExMo and related competitions.
Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.
Photo by: George
In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs that people are intimately familiar with from their days as infants. Now adults can enjoy all the comforts of baby furniture! Sleep in your own personal, adult size crib. Eat without the hassle of a table with your very own high chair. Relax in your very own swing, complete with three point harness. Driving has never been safer with your very own car seat (we don't recommend using it rear facing in the driver's seat however). Or enjoy your favorite IISL events from the comfort of a vibrating bouncy chair. It doesn't get any better than that.
George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.