The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Entries From Tuesday, August 11, 2009

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4 Entries on This Page

 

On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Neal's great-grandfather. While George found this unintended consequence hilarious, Neal did not find this funny whatsoever. As payback, Neal seduced George's great-great grandmother. Super-humanly virile, Neal became George's great-great grandfather. Upset, George thereafter seduced Neal's great-great-great grandmother (after first accidentally seducing his great-great-great grandfather - could have happened to anyone). This went back and forth so many times that Neal's and George's family trees became so convoluted and confusing it would have made M.C. Escher proud.

 

Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. The downside? All the faceless people. Very creepy. Also, the conflicting laws of gravity made going to the bathroom very, very complicated and often times messy.

 

In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this baby making was a new sport, which took America by storm. By 2015 it will be the second largest organized professional sport (right behind curling - yeah, it takes off next summer), enjoyed by millions of fans around the world. The Extreme Mobile Watching League, more commonly known as ExMo, spawned a whole family of spin-off sports, like Competition Crawling and the annual Spit-up Spectacular. In 2016 the IISL (International Infant Sporting League) was formed to encompass ExMo and related competitions.

 

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs that people are intimately familiar with from their days as infants. Now adults can enjoy all the comforts of baby furniture! Sleep in your own personal, adult size crib. Eat without the hassle of a table with your very own high chair. Relax in your very own swing, complete with three point harness. Driving has never been safer with your very own car seat (we don't recommend using it rear facing in the driver's seat however). Or enjoy your favorite IISL events from the comfort of a vibrating bouncy chair. It doesn't get any better than that.

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