The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).

Many of the musicians they befriended wrote songs about George and Neal, though this is not commonly known. For example:

- Metallica's "Enter Sandman" was about the time George baby-sat James Hetfield, and sang him soothing lullabies. (Circa 1988).

- Prince's "When Doves Cry" was about the time Neal and Prince were playing basketball and Neal tripped on a bird. (Circa 1981)

- Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" was about the time George accidentally switched Frankie's eye drops with superglue. (Circa 1942)

- The Kingston Trio's "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" is about the time Neal dated Dave Guard's mom, and being short on cash, Neal picked all the flowers from Guard's backyard to give to his mother. (Circa 1941)

- The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" is about the time George taught Brian Wilson's high school science class, and hit water with a vibrating tuning fork. (Circa 1958)

- Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is about the time Neal babysat a 9 year old Kurt Cobain. That day, Kurt discovered Neal's odd choice of deodorant. (Circa 1976)

- Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall"? All about the time George and Neal hired a young Roger Waters to assist in their short-lived construction business providing homes for the poor and evil (known as Habitat for Inhumanity). (Circa 1963)

Officially, George and Neal can both say, "We liked them before they were cool."

Officially, the rest of the world can secretly desire to punch them both in the face.

 

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swirled around baby Jesus and the animals. But when our Chinese manufacturer shipped the snow globes to us everything was perfect (well, baby Jesus was replaced by a frog, but hey, whatever sells), until the music started with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!". But they sold really, really well! Even better than our "Oh Holy Night" whoopee cushions.

 

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

"Boy, I feel kind of bloated today." Carl Sagan
"What a weird day." Steven King
"Who ate all my nachos?" Camille Paglia
"My feet stink." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
"I should have just stayed in bed today." Napoleon Bonaparte
"I wonder what George and Neal are up to. Maybe I can steal some of their ideas!" Bette Midler
"Man...I could really go for some Arby's." Gandhi
"This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!" George A. Custer
"I've fallen and I can't get up!" George A. Custer (a few minutes later)
"That was a great play!" Abraham Lincoln
"Shhhh, did you hear that?" J. S. Bach
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." Colonel Sanders
"Someone get me a mirror and a hairbrush, please." Albert Einstein
"Not tonight, I have a headache." Salvador Dali
"Mufwa ad mub wum afwormin dut." Ozzy Ozborne
"Meh weema ehs meh leef min." Bob Dylan
"Today's shaping up to be a movies and PJs day." Queen Elizabeth II
"That was a two flusher if I've ever seen one." Alan Alda
"Hey you, get out of my closet!" Joan of Arc
"They may take our cullen skink, but they'll never take our haggis!" William Wallace
"Does this nemes make me look fat?" Cleopatra
"Does this baseball cap make me look fat?" Dom Deluise

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