The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Part 2

92 Entries on This Page


iKing George

In 1014, George founded the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia, and became King George I (known affectionately as iKing). Beginning in October of that year iKing George commenced an insane endeavor to name everyone and everything George, or variations ther... Read More


iKing George - Just like the Kingdom of Northeast Georgia.

Tags: 1014(1) 2010(16) discombobulation(4) offspring(13) relationships(6) smurfs(2) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: gargamel(2) lost(2) smurfs(2) so you think you can dance(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 690/6821
Added: 04/22/2009


Hair Match

In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an opportunity to stop living on the streets of Chicago and sharing a cardboard box behind Tony Rezko's ... Read More

Tags: 2014(7) 2015(9) celebrities(69) competition(10) crimes & scams(16) government(16) hair(12) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) donald trump(10) ecw wrestling(1) law and order(2) nbc(3) rod blagojevich(2) syfy channel(1) tony rezko(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 413/11772
Added: 04/22/2009


Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless

In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George informed Neal that the unicorns were only mythical and that Neal's protest was essentially imaginary. ... Read More

Tags: 1991(3) animals(17) awards and recognition(12) mythological critters(7) neal funk(18) organizations(15) save the aminals(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 917/5897
Added: 04/22/2009


No means...

You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum, causing "No" to actually mean "Yes" for about six hours on October 24th. This caused a lot of conf... Read More

Tags: 1929(1) languages(11) oops(16) teleportation(10)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 388/5105
Added: 04/22/2009


Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint

For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their foray into costumed adventures was cut short sadly, due to a restraining order (which I am restricted f... Read More

Tags: 1963(2) george funk(11) lawsuits(13) neal funk(18) nicknames(14) super heroes(3) video games(12) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: activision(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 336/5269
Added: 04/22/2009


Cookin' with Martha and Neal

In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; however, relations between Martha and Neal became strained, resulting in an on-air, climactic and violent... Read More


Cookin' with Martha and Neal - She'd as soon kill you as look at you.

Tags: 1990(3) 2050(1) body parts(14) celebrities(69) oops(16) tv shows(49) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: martha stewart(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 368/12181
Added: 04/22/2009


Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang

For a few years near the end of the 19th century George and Neal organized several bands of outlaws and robbed banks and trains in the old west. We were actually the masterminds behind Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang's Union Pacific train holdup at W... Read More


Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch Gang - Butch Cassidy's Wild Bunch circa 1901. Front row left to right: Harry A. Longabaugh, alias the Sundance Kid, Ben Kilpatrick, alias the Tall Texan, Robert Leroy Parker, alias Butch Cassidy; Standing: Will Carver; George Jaros alias the Whitewash Kid; Harvey Logan, alias Kid Curry; Neal Simon, alias Kneal S. Iman.

Tags: 1874(1) 1899(1) 1901(1) 1924(1) crimes & scams(16) historic events(18) nicknames(14) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: ben kilpatrick (the tall texan)(1) butch cassidy's wild bunch gang(1) harry a. longabaugh (the sundance kid)(1) harvey logan (kid curry)(1) illinois(3) james-younger gang(1) kansas(1) muncie kansas(1) newton boys(1) robert leroy parker (butch cassidy)(1) roundout illinois(1) union pacific(1) wilcox wyoming(1) will carver(1) wyoming(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 630/8955
Added: 04/24/2009



In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drinking random test tubes of unknown substances in hopes of becoming giddily intoxicated). Unfortunately... Read More


Godzilla - Godzilla is moderately annoyed.


Pep Boys: The Origin - Sadly, this doesn't look all that different than what we normally look like.

Tags: 1954(2) genetics(16) inspirations(19) kicking ass(16) mythological critters(7)
Names Mentioned: godzilla(3) japan(2) pep boys(1) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 354/9244
Added: 04/24/2009


Format Wars

George and Neal have enjoyed starting format wars throughout the years. They are responsible for the infamous "Betamax vs VHS vs Video 2000 Conflict", "Battle of the PC and Mac", "AC/DC - The War of Currents", "The Cylinder Records vs Disk Records Co... Read More

Tags: 1908(2) discombobulation(4) friends mentioned(4) jaguanst(8) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: andy smith(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 302/5611
Added: 04/24/2009


After-School Specials

In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (and still be traumatized by) their shows, including the safety episode, "Where did my thumb go?: Lit... Read More

Tags: 1980s(7) education(9) george w. bush(5) mental trauma(8) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: abc(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 360/5266
Added: 05/01/2009


Here Be Dragons

On a trip back to 1227 BCE George and Neal discovered that dragons did in fact inhabit major portions of the earth. Different species of dragons lived and thrived all across Europe and Asia. Sadly, on a separate trip to 1098 BC dragons appeared to be... Read More

Tags: .1098 bce(1) .1113 bce(1) .1225 bce(1) .1227 bce(1) 2029(2) extinction(4) mythological critters(7) save the aminals(7) teleportation(10) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: asia(1) europe(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 636/5931
Added: 05/01/2009


1234 PAR-TAY!

In the year 1234 George and Neal threw a year-long party because that's just a really cool number for a year. George and Neal refuse to go to the year 4321, in an effort to avoid being redundant.

Tags: 1234(1) 4321(1) party(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 249/2125
Added: 05/04/2009


It's Not a Jewish eBay

In 2014, Neal and George created the website, "Oybay", the very first auction website devoted entirely to the sale and purchase of Jewish items.


It's Not a Jewish eBay - Eh... You can't beat such a deal!

Tags: 2014(7) business ventures(46) jewish(6) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: ebay(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 439/7802
Added: 05/04/2009


The Cure!

In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, more like it was stuck in the pocket of an old pair of pants that Neal hadn't worn since 2009. Sure it... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) 2018(4) diseases(9) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 291/3493
Added: 05/04/2009


Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride and Prejudice with elements of modern zombie fiction), Neal and George decided to pen a few of thei... Read More


Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Not surprisingly, Ms. Garrett was the mastermind behind it all.

Tags: mashups(12) movies(41) tv shows(49) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: clifford teh big red dog(1) cujo(8) different strokes(1) jane austen(1) mommy dearest(1) pride and prejudice and zombies(1) texas chainsaw massacre(1) the mummy(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 612/7170
Added: 05/08/2009


Arctic Camping

From October 1907 to May 1909 George and Neal camped out at the North Pole. We're not sure why exactly since it was very cold, there wasn't much to eat, and the wi-fi reception was awful. We did enjoy the visit in April 1908 from Dr. Fredrick Cook th... Read More

Tags: 1907(2) 1908(2) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: arctic(1) dr. fredrick cook(1) north pole(1) robert peary(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 256/4302
Added: 05/08/2009


Aging gracefully...

Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a high risk of imploding the universe - also, doing so causes all baked goods to smell like old cheese... Read More


Aging gracefully... - He'd as soon kill you as look at you.


Aging ungracefully... - Neal at the ripe old age of 40.

Tags: aging(2) mental trauma(8) movies(41) paradox(1) science(28)
Names Mentioned: benjamin button(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 317/5191
Added: 05/11/2009


Monuments to Greatness

Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln were flanked by Neal Simon (next to Washington) and George Jaros (next to Lincoln) to honor us for ou... Read More


Monuments to Greatness - The original Mount Rushmore.


Jar-mon Mountain - The in-progress Crazy Horse Monument and a model of what the finished sculpture will look like.

Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) awards and recognition(12) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) crazy horse memorial(1) george washington(3) gutzon borglum(1) mount rushmore(1) teddy roosevelt(1) thomas jefferson(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 612/5541
Added: 05/11/2009



In 2030, Neal became a monosyllabic, drooling, undead zombie. No one noticed the difference until 2033.

Tags: 2030(3) 2033(1) zombies(21)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 282/1699
Added: 05/12/2009


Neality TV

After the success of the show "The L-Word", Neal and George produced a television show based upon Neal's life. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that a television show called "The N-Word" was destined for failure. The show based on George's ... Read More


Neality TV - Above: an extremely poorly conceived idea.

Tags: lawsuits(13) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: the l-word(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 304/4201
Added: 05/12/2009


Duke Nukem Forever

In April 2097 George and Neal released the long anticipated video game, Duke Nukem Forever, only 100 years after it was announced. Contrary to popular belief the project was never cancelled, was not a myth, and really did take 100 years of work to de... Read More

Tags: 2097(1) kicking ass(16) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: duke nukem(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 276/3502
Added: 05/12/2009


Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story

In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an all-ninja cast, was a rousing success. The musical ended up winning two Tony's and garnered such pra... Read More


Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - It was an instant classic...

Tags: 1982(5) people of history(33) theater(8) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: broadway(3) don braunagel(1) helen keller(1) mortal kombat(1) roger ebert(1) san diego(1) tony awards(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 680/9298
Added: 05/16/2009


We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what co... Read More

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(46) inventions(49) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(21) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 342/8788
Added: 05/16/2009


Super George Brothers

In 1981, George created a ground-breaking side-scrolling video game, Super George Brothers. The game chronicled George's love of eating weird mushrooms he would find on the ground, running around without a shirt, and his penchant for jumping on turtl... Read More


Super George Brothers - George's macho style was sadly covered in clothes in the Nintendo remake.

Tags: 1981(4) turtles & tortoises(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: super mario brothers(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 243/2385
Added: 05/18/2009


Play With George's Balls!

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to ke... Read More


Divorce Court Hero - Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Tags: 1985(4) 2013(7) business ventures(46) games(15) lawsuits(13) peanuts(6) sports(24) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: guitar hero(1) nintendo(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 408/7204
Added: 05/18/2009


Jaguanst Causes Climate Change

In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was actually the consumption of carbonated beverages. Every can or bottle of jaguanst (that's soda or p... Read More

Tags: 2012(14) 2015(9) food(45) government(16) jaguanst(8) science(28) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 341/13991
Added: 05/18/2009


Fun With Genetics

Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted like chicken. Unfortunately, this backfired, and now nearly all chickens found in the Midwest taste li... Read More


Fun With Genetics - Nature just threw up a little in its mouth.


Westminster Freakshow - This is where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.


Bearpotomus X Ostrephant - No wait. HERE'S where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.

Tags: 2000(7) cats(8) celebrities(69) genetics(16) mashups(12) oops(16) platypus(4) science(28)
Names Mentioned: rush limbaugh(1) westminster dog show(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 471/9107
Added: 05/27/2009


Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team

In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squirrels that we trained in the 1974 incursion had multiplied (like rodents are prone to do) as had the... Read More


Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team - This raccoon stood no chance against the lightsaber wielding rodents...

Tags: 1974(6) 1994(4) kicking ass(16) peanuts(6) raccoons(3) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: star wars(7)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 416/5180
Added: 05/27/2009



In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-off and inferior to FB, the website was largely dismissed. Their advertising campaign, "Because Your ... Read More

Tags: 2011(8) business ventures(46) facebook(10) failures(22) publications(14) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 320/5877
Added: 05/27/2009


Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tr... Read More

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(41) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 364/9125
Added: 06/01/2009


Saved By The 1-Up

In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by George. Neal realized at this point that he had a dangerous addiction to video games and entered a r... Read More

Tags: 1991(3) 1996(2) 2001(8) 2005(2) amazing abilities(16) rehab(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: bad dudes(1) quake(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 314/5947
Added: 06/01/2009



On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for HeadPeriodical. Or rather, too little, too early, since HeadPeriodical wouldn't be created for anothe... Read More

Tags: facebook(10) oops(16) publications(14) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 331/4508
Added: 06/01/2009


Vatican Idol and Spin-offs

In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singing, weird eyebrows, crooked teeth, mismatched nostrils.... [editor's note: many of Neal's failings h... Read More


Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - So tense... So exciting... Can you stay in your seat?


Britain's Got Teeth Problems - Stereotypes have never seemed so fun!


The Last Accountant Standing - File this... under awesome!

Tags: 2007(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) failures(22) neal funk(18) neal's fashion sense(21) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: amazing race(1) american idol(1) bbc(1) bet(1) britain's got talent(1) fox(2) last comic standing(1) simon cowell(1) so you think you can dance(2) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 365/14300
Added: 06/02/2009


Saturday Night George

In 1993 George and Neal used the Time Machine in conjunction with the Teleportation Device and wound up in an alternate reality where families sit around and do nothing but watch us on TV. Apparently in this alternate reality we are absolutely fascin... Read More


Saturday Night George - Families are glued to their TV sets watching George try to dance.


Includes Neal-in-Neal! - Neal's ugly mug helps sell the latest in TV technology...


George's Knobs - Notice how she likes fiddling with George's knobs? Neal is sooo jealous.

Tags: scantily clad people(15) teleportation(10) time machine(37) tv shows(49)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)
Views: 287/6973
Added: 06/02/2009


Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper

Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, the harmonica, comprised of marshmallows, candy canes, and prunes (monikered "Marshmonica") was crit... Read More

Tags: 2058(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) food(45) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) music(26)
Names Mentioned: dateline(2) john popper(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 838/8128
Added: 06/03/2009


Made in USA

In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers has skyrocketed and we have expanded our product line to include "Made in Taiwan", "Made in Korea", "... Read More


Made in USA - A proud product of America!

Tags: 1954(2) business ventures(46) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) china(3) honduras(1) korea(1) mexico(2) taiwan(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 307/7549
Added: 06/03/2009


You're spelling it wrong!

George and Neal know that, among friends, Brett actually spells his name like it's pronounced: FARVE.

Tags: friends mentioned(4) sports(24) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: brett favre(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 315/2989
Added: 06/04/2009


Ten Cent Beer Night

On June 4th, 1974 George and Neal organized the first (and last) ever Ten Cent Beer Night at the Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The event was both a raging success and huge failure depending on your point of view. While increasing the attendance three-... Read More

Tags: 1974(6) historic events(18) oops(16) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: cleveland(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 336/3955
Added: 06/05/2009


Starring George & Neal!!!

Wanting to attain fame, but hoping to do so with as little effort as humanly possible, George and Neal went back in time to be recast in Hollywood blockbuster movies and shows. First, Neal "borrowed" Barret Oliver's role in The Neverending Story.... Read More


Starring George & Neal!!! - "Whee! Whee! Wh... Hey, this thing smells like an old foot. Can we stop shooting?"


Whoa! - If Shakespeare were alive, he'd be jealous.


Goodby Ronnie! - This is the reason scientists worked tirelessly to create Tivo.


That 70's Star Wars Show - Neal is the one on the left.


Topher Said "No!" - Topher Grace was less than thrilled at the new direction of the show.


Punky Georgester - With hair of... um... nevermind.


Georgantium - The sexual tension between George and Rhea Perlman was so intense that scientists classified it as a new periodic element ("Georgantium")

Tags: movies(41) star wars(7) time machine(37) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: all in the family(1) andy griffith(1) a-team(3) barret oliver(1) brady bunch(2) cheers(1) fight club(1) gimme a break(1) hollywood(3) joey lawrence(1) neverending story(2) opie taylor(1) punky brewster(1) rhea perlman(1) ron howard(2) star wars(7) that 70s show(1) three's company(2) topher grace(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (7)
Views: 1144/10352
Added: 06/06/2009


Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise

After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time instead of replacing the original stars with themselves they replaced the stars with a collection of soc... Read More


Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - If you look closely in the end scene you'll notice that the socks in the car are just George's dirty laundry.


Sock Film Classics - The Shining - All work and no play makes Jack a smelly sock...


Sock Film Classics - Run Lola Run - Actually, it was more of a "Glide across the frame Lola, glide..."


Sock Film Classics - The Invisible Man - Unfortunately due to special effects budget limitations, only the sock was made invisible.


Sock Film Classics - The Godfather - "Don" Corleone actually spoke clear enough to understand perfectly all the time.


Sock Film Classics - Son In Law - Replacing Pauley Shore was the best thing that ever happened for this film. It received 6 Oscar nominations, walking home with 4 of the awards, including "Best Sock".

Tags: awards and recognition(12) mashups(12) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) invisible man(1) pauley shore(1) run lola run(1) son in law(1) the godfather(1) the shining(1) thelma & louise(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (6)
Views: 310/8295
Added: 06/06/2009


Sciuridaetopia Invades

In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret genetic experiments when something went terribly wrong and the test subjects escaped, rampaging across ... Read More


Sciuridaetopia Invades - Our battles against Godzilla were great practice. Taking out squirrels was a piece of cake.

Tags: 2014(7) genetics(16) kicking ass(16) science(28) sciuridaetopia(3) squirrels(3)
Names Mentioned: america(8) godzilla(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 286/5096
Added: 06/06/2009


2008 Election Campaigns

During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writing "Obama Told Me (You Better Shop Around)," "Obama Told Me There'd Be Day's Like This", and "Obama ... Read More

Tags: 2008(6) celebrities(69) lawsuits(13) music(26) obama(4) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) katie couric(1) ozzy osbourne(2) sarah palin(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 337/7785
Added: 06/06/2009


Pleasurebots: The Origin

2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to their wives during these long absences, George and Neal created "Pleasurebots" - robots that could *a... Read More


Pleasurebots: The Origin - The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.


Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-Neal - Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).


Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-George - Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Tags: 2011(8) clarissa(6) inventions(49) julie(5) origin(24) pleasurebot(3) robots(7) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (2), Neal (1)
Views: 412/7872
Added: 06/25/2009


Joystick Etymology: The Origin

In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitch her hand uncontrollably. Neal on the other hand enjoyed collecting small twigs and tree branches a... Read More

Tags: 1907(2) etymology(4) joystick(1) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 1924/3553
Added: 06/25/2009


Team Ghandi

In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team never won a single game, as instead of hitting the ball, the players tried to reason with it through ... Read More


Team Ghandi - We requested "G"'s on our jerseys... but it wasn't worth the fight.

Tags: 1972(3) chicago(10) failures(22) people of history(33) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) ghandi(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 350/6461
Added: 06/29/2009


Hair, Inc.

In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. The business was an overnight success when the Beatles (who were actually all completely bald) becam... Read More


Hair, Inc. - Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.


Not a client of Hair, Inc. - George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

Tags: 1964(3) 2007(2) beatles(3) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) hair(12) music(26)
Names Mentioned: ace frehley(1) aerosmith(2) beatles(4) brittney spears(1) crystal gayle(1) david allan coe(1) david bowie(1) dee snider(1) don king(1) gene simmons(1) howard stern(1) kiss(2) lyle lovett(1) metallica(2) motley crew(1) paul simon(2) poison(1) rolling stones(2) ron howard(2) sinead o'connor(1) slaughter(1) twisted sister(1) willie nelson(1) zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 794/17470
Added: 06/29/2009


Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin

In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak moment.) George, on the other hand, ordered hundreds of gallons of ice cream - that wasn't a mistake eit... Read More

Tags: 1931(1) food(45) george funk(11) inventions(49) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 324/5362
Added: 07/01/2009


The Fountain of Youth

In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret, but over the years the instinctive draw to the fountain has caused Florida to become home to a vas... Read More

Tags: 1609(1) 1958(1) aging(2) business ventures(46) etymology(4) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: florida(1) ponce de leon(1) seminole indians(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 278/6492
Added: 07/01/2009


Duels of Toxicity

Beginning in 1777, every 4th of July, George and Neal would get together and throw a party for the most important and powerful American figures. The party would always devolve towards the end to drunken arguments as to who had the more "explosive" *a... Read More

Tags: 1777(1) george funk(11) historic events(18) neal funk(18) party(3) people of history(33) sbd(1) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: aaron burr(1) alexander hamilton(1) america(8)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 252/7556
Added: 07/02/2009


A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin

In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook account. Chuck was fascinated and wanted to know more. So we left him an extra computer that we had l... Read More


A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

Tags: 1821(1) 1902(2) cats(8) facebook(10) inspirations(19) inventions(49) origin(24) people of history(33) procrastination(5)
Names Mentioned: charles babbage(1) harry whittier frees(1) henry pointer(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 311/8088
Added: 07/02/2009


We Didn't Do 'Q'

In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confusing it with a period. Now people correctly trail off dreamily when they encounter ellipses instead o... Read More

Tags: 1154(1) 1669(1) inventions(49) languages(11)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 227/4242
Added: 07/07/2009


The Lazy X

In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chromosome. This explains why most men are less productive (and let's face it, hygienic) than women. Of c... Read More


The Lazy X - Above: lazy bastard.

Tags: 1987(7) genetics(16) procrastination(5) science(28) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 283/5197
Added: 07/07/2009


Handlebar Mustache: The Origin

In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew what handlebars were. The handlebar mustache was wildly popular, especially among military generals, ... Read More


Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!

Tags: 1815(1) 1817(1) hair(12) inventions(49) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 1413/4496
Added: 07/07/2009


The Secret Society of ¤

In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I can tell you that it can be recognized by the symbol ¤. Our meeting houses have sprung up all over t... Read More


The Secret Society of ¤ - You'll know when to come for the meetings by answering the following: "There is a commonly used eight letter word that can be abbreviated by it's first letter, first two letters, first three letters, first four letters, or first five letters. All abbreviations and the word itself are commonly used. What is the word?"

Tags: 1956(2) organizations(15) secrets(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 348/3849
Added: 07/07/2009


George, Digitally Inserted

In 1997, due to George's deep love of Star Wars, as well as his admiration of George Lucas (less as a result of Lucas's accomplishments and more because of Lucas's awesome first name), George asked to be involved in the Star Wars prequels. However, w... Read More


George, Digitally Inserted - "Luke... the Force.... it's just midi-chlorians..." "That's not true! That's impossible!"


Hayden Christiansen - Axed! - Hayden Christiansen must be rolling over in his... um... big comfy bed, in a huge mansion.


Rosebud! - Despite never having seen Citizen Kane, George was insistent on having a part... He played the snow globe.

Tags: 1997(6) celebrities(69) movies(41) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: bill cosby(1) citizen kane(1) george lucas(2) hayden christiansen(1) jaws(1) leonard: part 6(1) orson welles(1) star wars(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 457/7988
Added: 07/10/2009


Having Doubts...

At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! (Besides Bette Midler that is). At 12:57am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George decided it didn't... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) bette midler(4) cats(8) celebrities(69)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5) bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 265/6208
Added: 07/10/2009


Bob Ross: The Origin

In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint. So thanks to Neal and George and one talented kitten there are millions of "happy little trees". W... Read More


Bob Ross: The Origin - For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.

Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) cats(8) celebrities(69) hair(12) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 323/9154
Added: 07/10/2009


Everybody Poops

In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and Neal decided to adapt their favorite book, Everybody Poops, as a choose your own adventure book. Un... Read More


Everybody Poops - George and Neal's favorite book. Second favorite? Most People Wipe.

Tags: 1984(10) poop(7) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: bantam books(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 354/7606
Added: 07/23/2009


The ChickenPede

In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of Neal's (he named it Perdue) until George realized the financial opportunity and sold Perdue and the... Read More


The ChickenPede - RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.

Tags: 1996(2) business ventures(46) chicken(2) genetics(16) inventions(49)
Names Mentioned: hooters(1) kentucky fried chicken(1) perdue chicken(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 453/8803
Added: 07/23/2009



Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to in most nations), the phrase "ESL" will refer to "Emoticons as Second Language". Universal Keyboards ... Read More


Emoticlish - George and Neal's involvement in the emoticlish movement? Creating the first emotikeyboard. It remains a mystery to this day as to why George and Neal felt a need to keep the other "blank" keys.

Tags: 2028(2) emoticons(2) inventions(49) languages(11)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 266/5492
Added: 07/30/2009


Going All Digital, and Clean(ish)

On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required Neal to take a shower before the new June 12, 2009 date requiring Neal and George to go all digital... Read More

Tags: 2009(21) government(16) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 269/2880
Added: 07/30/2009


George Jaros's Punch Out

In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it been released in its original incarnation, George Jaros's Punch Out.... Read More


George Jaros's Punch Out - "007 373 5963" - this password led you to a world of hurtin', GJ style.


Simon Supplements - Simon Supplements - "Strong. Freakishly, freakishly strong."WARNING: Side effects may include awesomeness. And the complete loss of testicles.


Street Fighter 6 - Neal found that being overpowered by Chun Li was notably arousing. At least to him.

Tags: 1987(7) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: mike tyson(1) nintendo(2) punch out(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 323/5225
Added: 08/08/2009


Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!)

In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true Cubs tradition they were swept in the first four games of the Intergalactic Worlds Series by the Sol... Read More


Chicago Cubs in the World Series!  (Psyche!) - A Cubs fan mourning the 2412 loss in game 4 of the Intergalactic Worlds Series. 19 - 0 isn't so bad, is it?

Tags: 2412(1) astronomy(8) chicago(10) cubs(2) robots(7) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago cubs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)
Views: 288/4408
Added: 08/08/2009


Where the heck are Vladimir and Estragon?

In 1947 George and Neal spent several days in France waiting for their friends Vladimir and Estragon to show up. Neal later wrote a play about it called "Waiting for Vladimir and Estragon". Then in 1949 some dude ripped off our story and completely t... Read More

Tags: 1947(1) 1949(2) celebrities(69) ninjas(3) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: france(1) samuel beckett(1) waiting for godot(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 270/6985
Added: 08/08/2009


The Rolling Beatles

So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go back in time and force John and Paul to join forces with Mick and Keith. Thus, the band "The Rolling... Read More


The Rolling Beatles - Finally... satisfaction.


Hammer | Hendrix - What time is it? All Along The Watchtower, the Clock Strikes HAMMERTIME!

Tags: 1968(4) 2022(4) beatles(3) celebrities(69) competition(10) mashups(12) music(26) our bands(9) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: beatles(4) hanson(1) jimmi hendrix(2) john lennon(1) keith richards(1) m c hammer(1) mick jaggar(1) nine inch nails(2) paul mccartney(2) pearl jam(1) prince(4) rolling stones(2) trent reznor(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 316/11908
Added: 08/09/2009


Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson

As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach Boys, originally known as the Couch Boys. We turned out several minor hits, including Channel Surfin... Read More


Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...That was a classic!

Tags: 1961(1) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: beach boys(1) brian wilson(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 401/9940
Added: 08/09/2009


It's All Relative

On April 1, 2010, George thought it would be a hilarious prank to go back in time and seduce Neal's great-grandmother. Consequently, George became Neal's great-grandfather. While George found this unintended consequence hilarious, Neal did not find t... Read More

Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) offspring(13) relationships(6)
Names Mentioned: m c escher(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 551/6391
Added: 08/11/2009


Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent

Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. The downside? All the faceless people. Very creepy. Also, the conflicting laws of gravity made going ... Read More


Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Reason #85 why neither George nor Neal will win "Father of the Year": telling their children the bathroom is downstairs.

Tags: 1955(2) art is art(10) celebrities(69) failures(22)
Names Mentioned: m c escher(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 285/9506
Added: 08/11/2009


International Infant Sporting League

In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this ba... Read More


International Infant Sporting League - Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.

Tags: 2009(21) 2015(9) 2016(8) clarissa(6) genetics(16) offspring(13) organizations(15) sports(24) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: elmo(3) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 338/8715
Added: 08/11/2009


This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs... Read More


This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

Tags: 2017(2) business ventures(46) george's fashion sense(13) inventions(49)
Names Mentioned: ikea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 326/7431
Added: 08/11/2009


What's a Typewriter?

In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters eventually they'll type the complete works of Shakespeare. Unfortunately our study ended prematurel... Read More


What's a Typewriter? - The Klingon Language Edition of "How to Win Friends & Influence People" quickly became the best selling edition. Who would have thought that people who speak Klingon would need friends or would like to influence people?

Tags: 2025(1) animals(17) languages(11) publications(14) save the aminals(7) science(28) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) farmers almanac(1) how to win friends and influence people(1) saturday night live(1) start trek(1) stephen king(1) william shakespeare(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 862/9624
Added: 08/13/2009


Get To Da Choppa!

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assor... Read More


Get To Da Choppa! - Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

Tags: 2020(5) celebrities(69) movies(41) sports(24) success!(13) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) arnold schwarzenegger(1) chris hansen(1) dateline(2) nashville predators(1) predator(1) to catch a predator(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 432/12450
Added: 08/13/2009


1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series

In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a strange odor. After a few innings, George became so upset by the noxious smell, he complained to P.K.... Read More


Even We Couldn't Help the Cubs - Above: the most handsome baseball team ever. They were known as the "Lovable, handsome, amazingly bodacious losers."

Tags: 1945(2) 2020(5) chicago(10) cubs(2) failures(22) george's fashion sense(13) historic events(18) neal funk(18) neal's fashion sense(21) oops(16) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: billy goat tavern(1) billy sianis(1) chicago(14) chicago cubs(2) detroit tigers(1) p k wrigley(1) the postman(1) waterworld(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 366/14237
Added: 08/15/2009


uʍop ǝpısdn

In 2118 George and Neal turned the universe upside down. It was fun. Maybe we'll do it again some time.


uʍop ǝpısdn - ...uʍop ǝpısdn ǝsɹǝʌıun ǝɥʇ pǝddı1ɟ ǝʍ uǝɥʍ ǝʞı1 pǝʞoo1 p1ɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʍ sı sıɥʇ

Tags: 2118(1) amazing abilities(16) astronomy(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 256/2088
Added: 08/15/2009


Them Amazing Ladies

In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ask Neal the opposite is true. This is a debate that will continue for centuries. In fact, college c... Read More


Them Amazing Ladies - What is nearly as amazing as these two women is the fact that they even agreed to marry George and Neal in the first place, and then managed to put up with them for years, and provide them with a continuation of their genetic lineage. George and Neal have no idea how lucky they are (well, maybe just a little).

Tags: 2001(8) clarissa(6) competition(10) education(9) genetics(16) julie(5) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 400/6169
Added: 08/18/2009


An end to worldwide tortoise hunger!

In 2008, George and Neal became extremely productive after discovering they could use their time machine to sleep 9 hours each night, while only really "wasting" one hour. They would sleep from 10 p.m. to 11 p.m., wake up, go back in time to 10 p.m.,... Read More


An end to worldwide tortoise hunger! - Another tragedy averted.

Tags: 2008(6) time machine(37) turtles & tortoises(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 296/7667
Added: 08/19/2009


The George and Neal Newsnetwork

In 2040, Neal and George created a television news program devoted solely to chronicling their (mis)adventures, called the George and Neal Newsnetwork (or "GNN"). GNN hit an all-time high Nielsen rating during Neal's cooking show with Martha Stewart ... Read More


The George and Neal Newsnetwork - For all of your news and adult entertainment needs.

Tags: 2040(4) celebrities(69) failures(22) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(49) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: cnn(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 266/8846
Added: 08/20/2009


Connect One

After "Connect the Dot" the movie broke box office records, George and Neal decided to create a new game upon which to base another movie. The result? Connect One, an instant classic.


Connect One - It's all about strategy.

Tags: games(15) inventions(49) movies(41)
Names Mentioned: connect four(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)
Views: 1366/5766
Added: 08/20/2009


Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis

In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, George and Neal brokered an agreement with cNet Publishing and Facebook for a monthly printed edition... Read More


Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(46) facebook(10) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: cnet publishing(1) facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 305/5219
Added: 08/20/2009


I Dare You!

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occ... Read More


I Dare You! - Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.


Dan Ack-who? - Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.


Neal vs Cassius Clay - Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(46) celebrities(69) competition(10) food(45) George's Fashion Sense(13) movies(41) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: cassius clay(1) dan ackroyd(1) ghost busters(1) muhammad ali(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Views: 308/14632
Added: 08/25/2009


Robot Enslavement, Take 2

In 2045, robots took over the world. Not as scary as you'd think. The robots were friendly, personable, and wonderful leaders of the enslaved human race. This robotic takeover had nothing to do with George and Neal. Or did it? (Yes, we know this has ... Read More

Tags: 2045(1) robots(7)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 469/2085
Added: 08/25/2009


Goodby Kimmie!

In December, 2011 Neal and George did the world a favor by getting rid of Kim Jong Il using a technique they spent decades perfecting. The "Remote Head Squish" method of attack is a secret that was passed on to them by Samurai Master Nasu no Yoichi i... Read More


Goodby Kimmie! - They never saw us coming. One of the benefits of having a personal cloaking device.

Tags: 1192(1) 2011(8) celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: kim jong il(1) nasu no yoichi(1) north korea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 299/6318
Added: 08/25/2009


Metric Woes

Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring system in favor of the "Jarmonorgeal" system. Unfortunately, the Jarmonorgeal system did not allevia... Read More

Tags: 2087(1) failures(22) inventions(49) laws(10) nicknames(14) offspring(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) louisiana(1) maine(1) thailand(1) washington d c(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 272/6961
Added: 09/02/2009


Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod

On June 1, 2011, Neal and George debuted their MMORPG video game, Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod (yes, it is an actual place in Oregon, as is Wankers Corner). The initial release was hugely anticipated, netting over 3.6 million users in the... Read More

Tags: 2011(8) diseases(9) inventions(49) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: nimrod oregon(1) oregon trail(1) wankers corner oregon(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 321/4316
Added: 09/02/2009


Girls Gone Tame

In 2021, to capitalize on the new, extremely modest trends in fashion, George and Neal made millions off their new video series called "Girls Gone Tame". In exchange for putting on an extra petticoat, George and Neal would provide college girls with ... Read More


Girls Gone Tame - You should hear about all the stuff they weren't willing to do...

Tags: 2021(3) movies(41) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: girls gone wild(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 294/5222
Added: 09/02/2009


There's Waldo!!!

In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakdown, George decided to help his friend, as well as the public at large, by publishing "There's Waldo... Read More


There's Waldo!!! - Even so, it took Neal about 35 minutes to find Waldo.


Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego? - Described as "more disturbing than Hostel 2", this game was banned in most language-speaking countries. Despite this, George and Neal have decided to continue working on their next project, "The Magic School Bus: Field Trip to the Abattoir".

Tags: 1998(9) education(9) games(15) languages(11) mental trauma(8) publications(14) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: the magic school bus(1) where in the world is carmen sandiego(1) where's waldo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)
Views: 376/9644
Added: 09/04/2009


Get $245 Free (maybe)

In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunately the promises turned out to be big lies and the launch was a huge failure. I guess we shouldn't h... Read More


Get $245 Free (maybe) - Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)

Tags: 1989(3) business ventures(46) failures(22) food(45) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: american meteorological society(1) dove chocolate(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 272/5369
Added: 09/04/2009


No Photoshopping Allowed

In 2041, someone had the gall to accuse George and Neal of photoshopping images of their great accomplishments. George and Neal quickly provided hundreds of additional photos in response to the allegation proving that they did not engage in any photo... Read More

Tags: 2041(2) amazing abilities(16) oops(16) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: adobe photoshop(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 307/4039
Added: 09/05/2009


George Takes a Break

In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the Meadows of Elysium Bed & Breakfast. Unfortunately the whole thing was a disaster. Maybe it was becaus... Read More

Tags: 2016(8) business ventures(46) crimes & scams(16) gimme a break(5) ninjas(3) raccoons(3) robots(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: motel 6(1)
Entry Logged By: George
Views: 317/5989
Added: 09/05/2009


Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gat... Read More

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(49) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 330/9869
Added: 09/06/2009


Measure Your Spaghetti

In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough, but about 10 minutes into it we had actually hypnotized the entire House and Senate, as well as th... Read More


Measure Your Spaghetti - Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.

Tags: 2018(4) art is art(10) food(45) government(16) laws(10) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: america(8) spencer tunick(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)
Views: 390/6598
Added: 09/06/2009


New George and New Neal

On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to create New George and New Neal. Much like the New Coke, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and th... Read More

Tags: 1985(4) business ventures(46) genetics(16) george funk(11) neal funk(18) recipes(10)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) coca-cola(1) netherlands(1) new coke(2) talossa(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal
Views: 358/7079
Added: 09/08/2009

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