The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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When George and Neal were told they could do costume designing for Sean Connery, they jumped at the opportunity. Not because they liked Sean Connery - but rather they were intent on taking their revenge after Sean stole their "Rock Smoothies" idea (luckily, all that did was bust up his teeth and make the Yugoslavian sound like a Scottish man). Anyway, in an effort to exact revenge, George and Neal designed Sean's costume for his 1974 epic, Zardoz. The costume looked like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Zardoz_zed.jpg Job well done, boys!

 

In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later learned in fact that George had merely played a practical joke and he was never on Fear Factor. Neal would have swore revenge, except that he realized he really liked eating bull testicles so he wasn't all that angry.

 

In 1920, George unfortunately lost millions investing in a ponzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay earlier investors. In 1979, Neal lost millions investing in a Fonzi scheme, in which his investments were used to pay Ralph Malph. George was able to make his money back though by traveling to 1979, posing as Ralph Malph, taking Neal's money back to 1918, investing in the same ponzi scheme that he would later lose his money, and thus becoming one of those early investors that made a fortune. Neal, however, is still looking for Ralph Malph but will never find him.

 

In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather because as George put it, "hey, we have a time machine, wouldn't that be just awesome to do?" To which Neal replied, "Cooooool...." What was less cool was the fact that after gut-punching Sinatra, Neal and George were beaten senseless by Sinatra's "buddies". Johnny "No Thumbs" was especially rough on George and Neal.

 

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

"Boy, I feel kind of bloated today." Carl Sagan
"What a weird day." Steven King
"Who ate all my nachos?" Camille Paglia
"My feet stink." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
"I should have just stayed in bed today." Napoleon Bonaparte
"I wonder what George and Neal are up to. Maybe I can steal some of their ideas!" Bette Midler
"Man...I could really go for some Arby's." Gandhi
"This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!" George A. Custer
"I've fallen and I can't get up!" George A. Custer (a few minutes later)
"That was a great play!" Abraham Lincoln
"Shhhh, did you hear that?" J. S. Bach
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." Colonel Sanders
"Someone get me a mirror and a hairbrush, please." Albert Einstein
"Not tonight, I have a headache." Salvador Dali
"Mufwa ad mub wum afwormin dut." Ozzy Ozborne
"Meh weema ehs meh leef min." Bob Dylan
"Today's shaping up to be a movies and PJs day." Queen Elizabeth II
"That was a two flusher if I've ever seen one." Alan Alda
"Hey you, get out of my closet!" Joan of Arc
"They may take our cullen skink, but they'll never take our haggis!" William Wallace
"Does this nemes make me look fat?" Cleopatra
"Does this baseball cap make me look fat?" Dom Deluise

 

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

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