The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

---

---

'2020' Tagged Entries

View All Tags

5 Entries on This Page

5 Tagged Entries  

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assortment of spiders, a man-o-war jellyfish, a tyrannosaurus rex, two alligators, a couple of venus flytraps, and one big dude with glow-in-the-dark blood, awesome mandibles, greenish skin, rad dreads, and some pretty cool weapons. We've been asked back to do a follow up special where we'll attempt to catch the elusive Nashville Predators.

 

In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a strange odor. After a few innings, George became so upset by the noxious smell, he complained to P.K. Wrigley, who located a nearby patron who was attending the game with his billy goat. After asking the patron (Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis) to leave because his pet goat's odor was bothering other fans, Sianis became outraged and declared, "Them Cubs, they aren't gonna win no more," which has been interpreted to mean that there would never be another World Series game played at Wrigley Field. It has also been said by many that Sianis put a "curse" on the Cubs; if so, it was incredibly effective as the Cubs have not won a single World Series since then. (Later that evening, George located the odor, and it wasn't the goat. It was Neal. Whoops.)

While we're on the topic of the Cubs, George and Neal felt so badly for having caused a curse that led to the downfall of the Cubs Dynasty, they vowed to do all that they could to break the curse (ok, they didn't feel too bad, but the Cubs were the only baseball team they could afford to try out their awesome plan). That's why in 2020, George and Neal populated the entire Cubs team with many versions of themselves taken from different timelines. The Neals and Georges trained for many months, to get in peak physical condition. Given George and Neal's skills (including their self-professed and much doubted sexual prowess), the people of Chicago, nay, the world, were filled with hope and excitement. People also thought Waterworld and the Postman would be good movies. People are idiots. George and Neal's first game resulted in the injuries of numerous Georges and Neals, and a score of 75-1. (They got one run during the inning that the pitcher kept beaming them in the head for fun.) Consequently, that was the first and last game George and Neal ever played as Cubs. The next day the owners (who happened to be the real Neal and George for that time) fired all the other Neals and Georges and rehired all the original players. Interestingly enough, that devastating loss was not the Cubs' worst defeat. They lost by bigger margins three more times that season despite Neal and George no longer playing. Chalk it up to bad managing (the George and Neal managers were fired at the end of the season).

 

In 1921 George and Neal founded their bridal fashion line. Unfortunately George and Neal knew absolutely nothing about bridal fashion and their company wasn't very successful. This didn't stop them though, and they used their knowledge of the future to bring the hottest styles from the 21st century to the roaring 20s in the hopes that the modernization of 1920s fashion trends would embrace their futuristic designs. They failed there as well. But they were convinced that their innovative wedding dress designs would someday catch on, so they kept at it. Finally, in 2020 George and Neal became the hottest fashion team in the bridal industry. The March edition of their magazine, The Bodaceous Bride, featured their flagship wedding dress on the cover. Everyone was anxious to get their hands on the dress (whether they were getting married or not!) Turns out their Hazmat Wedding Dress would probably have also been a hit if they had released it just a few years earlier, but they missed the Spanish Flu epidemic by just a few months.

 

Neal turned 42 in 2020 (but celebrated his birthday in 1961 so he could send a chimp named Ham into outer space... not for science purposes, but because the chimp owed Neal some money... but that's a story for a different day). That day, Neal noticed his hair was thinning and became upset. Good friend that he is, George developed an alternate hair-care treatment that was also eco friendly.

George first tested the treatment on himself first. Needless to say, it went very well.

Initially, George was met with belly laughter when he saw Neal. Soon after, though, Neal decided he would like a luxurious green coif as well. Neal started the treatments immediately. Unfortunately, Neal's son Adin also wanted this stylish look as well.

Even more unfortunate, the treatments did not respond as expected for the Simons.

Neal immediately discontinued the treatments. Adin, however, increased the treatments, commenting, "I kinda like it!" Currently, Adin is up for the role of Swamp Thing in DC's upcoming movie. Most agree, he's a shoe-in.

 

When the 2020 COVID pandemic hit, it crippled many industries. In hopes of giving a little back - as well as propping up the critically important Broadway play financial sector, George wrote, produced, and acted in the pandemic-themed "Socially Distanced Guys and Dolls." Although critics called it, "confusing," and "sick, but for different reasons than the coronavirus," the play was a hit. Following in George's footsteps, Neal starred in the one-man play, "Priscilla, Queen of the Pandemic." Slightly annoying George, Neal's play was called "Even more confusing!" and was even more financially successful.

The boys went back and forth, creating one COVID-inspired (and intellectually thieving) hit after another, including: "Jesus Christ CoronaStar”; “From Here to Etern—*wheeeze* ughhhhh Imma Stay Right Here"; and “West Side COVID.”

In 2021, George finally completed his EGOT with both “Oliver! Put on Your Damn Mask!”; and “Don’t Kiss Me, Kate.”

George and Neal collaborated on “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Vaccination.” It starred Martha Plimpton - for no other reason that Neal really liked the name, "Plimpton." Their foray into Broadway musicals was not entirely successful, though - George and Neal were both sued over the trauma that their odd play, “The Rocky Horror Zoom" inflicted on the first 16 rows. (Most plays do not end with the need to apply nail polish to theatergoers to remove attached objects) It didn't help their side when Neal, under oath, stated, "Tha play? Man... Though we created it, it honestly traumatized me almost as much as Meet the Feebles.

After their successes from a trio of broadway hits (“My Fair Patient”; “AntisepticSpray"; and “The Sound of Coughing”), they called it a day. Still, one can still hear George muttering under his breath from time to time, "You know... we still haven't made “Singing in the Rain 2: Why I Can’t Taste My Food”...)

---