The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
Cow Experimentation
Entry Logged on: October 22, 2012 to Part 3 by: NealPage Views: 1263 - Times Displayed: 8954
In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high intelligence. As a result, George and Neal became strict vegetarians, and hid the nation's beef. This coincidentally coincided with Wendy's "Where's the Beef?" campaign, and therefore the public thought the lack of beef was merely a marketing stunt. Unfortunately for cows but fortunately for the meat-eating public, the hyper-intelligent cows did not live longer than three days, so the meat was redistributed (that's what she... well, you know where I'm going with that, so let's just move on). Still though, if the cows had survived, what a world it would be... In the three short days they were alive, they founded the United Democratic Distribution of Edible Relief (known as U.D.D.E.R.), an institution devoted to ending worldwide hunger. The organization focused on the mass distribution of chickens, pigs, platypus, and other farm enemies.
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- 1984 - (9 Other Entries)
- Breakin'! - In 1984, George starred in the movie "Breakin'!" as Master Shabazz. In 1986, Neal, in an effort to follow in his friend's footsteps, starred in the mo...
- Everybody Poops - In 1984, Bantam Books contacted George and Neal, requesting they write and illustrate a book for their Choose Your Own Adventure book line. George and...
- Like a Boss - Tired of all the speculation, George went back to 1984 and showed the world who was the boss. It was George.
- SUPER POWERS - In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with al...
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- chickens - (No Other Entries)
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- Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
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- Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
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- genetics - (15 Other Entries)
- Mace, the other Dark Side - Darth Vader was not Luke's father. A paternity test by Maury Povich revealed to Vader that "You are NOT the father!". After checking six other poten...
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- The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
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- People Against Kneeling - In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may ...
- Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to o...
- The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
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- Illuminati, New World Order, Bilderberg Group, Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners - George and Neal are the Illuminati and the New World Order. We lead the Bilderberg Group and organize the annual Bilderberg Conference. Our headquarte...
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- platypus - (3 Other Entries)
- Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
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- that's what she said - (5 Other Entries)
- We went fishing and all we caught was awful... - In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on h...
- Just a little background... - ###Just a little background - This entire story was listed in the "Details on how you know each other" section of Facebook. Unfortunately the field fo...
- Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
- The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
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- tv shows - (48 Other Entries)
- George and Neal and the Masters of the Universe - In 1981, after the character Orko appeared in the cartoon He-Man, in a move that confused most of the world, Neal sued the cartoon company for infring...
- Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
- There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
- Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
- Vatican Idol and Spin-offs - In 2007, hoping to cash in and ride on the success of American Idol, but knowing his limitations (such as poor fashion sense, body odor, warbley singi...
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- Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes. - For some unknown reason Japanese people like to take photographs of George. Only Neal likes to take photos of Neal, in those Anne Geddes baby-flower c...
- We Got (no) Game! - Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not ye...
- Fear Factor Delicacies - In 1998, George convinced Neal to go on Fear Factor, where Neal went on to eat 50 scorpions, 12 worms, and over a hundred bull testicles. Neal later l...
- 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
- Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
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