The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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'2013' Tagged Entries

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In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the problem. But... how could that possibly have happened, if they negated existence? My head hurts. Oh, also, Neal squished a bug back in prehistoric times, which had little effect on human evolution, except that we no longer have the ability to fly. Whoops.

 

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

 

By 2012 NBC was having trouble finding people for its hit show "America's Got Talent". So they created a sequel, which George and Neal tried out for in 2013. Unfortunately they didn't make it past the first round of voting in "America's Run Out of Talent".

 

In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they reach the American public through food. In early 2014 the church released their Westboro Bun Sized Weiners in the hopes that they would be sold at little league baseball and pee-wee football games across the nation. Unfortunately the slogan for the hotdogs, "Our Weiners Fit In Your Buns!" didn't do much to help the church's cause. Later that year the entire church and hot dog factory was swallowed by a large fish.

 

In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly because Lego blocks hadn't been invented yet and no one saw any harm in it. Plus it was attached to a bill about Federal Water Pollution Control Act (which also had the effect of making it illegal for Neal to bathe, at least until the Clean Air Act was passed in 1963 and new techniques and technologies like aeration, flocculation, and active carbon adsorption enabled water filtration plants to sufficiently clean Neal's bath water). When they found out about this, George and Neal traveled to 1950 and convinced legislators to pass a bill to make it illegal to leave Legos lying on the floor, especially after dark. Their bill was easily passed into law because by that time enough people had stepped on Legos in their bare feet that it was deemed necessary to ensure the safety of US citizens. As a result of these two laws, Neal, George, Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla spent the rest of 2012 and most of 2013 in jail for committing the crimes they fought so hard to make illegal. Julie and Clarissa enjoyed the 18 month vacation from having to take care of three kids each.

During our incarceration we found one thing that hurts more than stepping on a Lego at night in bare feet; wiping with prison toilet paper...

 

Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.

 

In an effort to ride the coattails of our success, in 2013 Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber began their own adventures, chronicling their own sagas through such outlets as TMZ, Huffington Post, Perez Hilton, E!, and your local police reports. While Miley's adventures shared a lot of characteristics of George and Neal's adventures (including twerking, licking power tools, and riding construction equipment while naked), Justin Bieber's misadventures are in a class of their own and have absolutely nothing in common with The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! (Well, except for maybe being inexplicably irresistible to women and loved by the paparazzi.)

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