The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
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Entries From Monday, September 24, 2012

<< Sep 23, 2012  Oct 18, 2012 >>

4 Entries on This Page

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History came alive, boy howdy!

Views: 295/11687
Added: 09/24/2012

This wasn't the first time that George and Neal had a monumental impact on the mathematical world. In 2012, while bored one weekend, they decided to become experts in astrophysics, physics, and a host of other scientific topics. Along the way, they learned that each day was calculated to be one second longer than it really was. Neal and George discovered that consequently all calendars were off by 8.5 days. This explains why, when they went back to celebrate the 2011 New Year with themselves, they wound up traveling to January 9 (and a half). Though bummed they couldn't ring in the New Year (again) with themselves, on the positive side at least they were able to attend the Southern Sudan referendum on independence, where the Sudanese electorate voted in favor of independence, paving the way for the creation of the new state in July. History came alive, boy howdy!

Tags: 2011(8) 2012(14) calendars(4) historic events(18) mathematics(2) science(28)
Names Mentioned: sudan(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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Family Week

Views: 316/13742
Added: 09/24/2012

In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his family. On September 3rd he showed the boys how to distort spacial dimensions to grow and shrink at will. On the 8th they learned about monarch butterflies and how Neal taught them to fly from Canada to Mexico. And on September 9th George and his boys had fun flying hipsters in the park. It was a fun filled week!


Family Week - Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.

Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.

Photo by: George


Hipster Flying - Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.

Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2012(14) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) science(28) sports(24)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) mexico(2) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

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George Neal

Views: 604/19620
Added: 09/24/2012

In 2029, George and Neal decided to tinker with building functional teleportation technology. Unfortunately, it had been years since either Neal or George watched the 1986 Jeff Goldblum film, The Fly, which illuminated the dangers of teleportation. When the first opportunity arose to use the teleportation device, the men fought over who could use it first. George raised the fact that whoever went first had the potential to be a Neal Armstrong-like figure. Neal raised the fact that Neal Armstrong's first name was Neal, and therefore he should go first. It was sound logic. George refused to accept it, however, and flung himself into the device. Neal did the same. The result was catastrophic (and sexy), in which Neal and George's DNA were combined, creating what at least two people believe to be the smartest man in history. This amalgamation dubbed itself "George Neal." Unfortunately, while the teleportation / recombination was occurring, knobs got fiddled accidentally (that's what she said) and George Neal was flung back into the late 1700's. Though possessing great knowledge and incredible oration skills, George Neal had none of the memories of George or Neal. George Neal believed himself to be the son of a Scottish Highlander who set up permanent residence in South Carolina. For reasons unknown, George Neal chose to stay loyal to the British during the War of Independence. George Neal distinguished himself during the war, even being promoted to Major. He later became an explorer, exploring the north shore of Lake Erie by boat. Ultimately, after leaving America, Major Neal became Canada's first saddlebag preacher for the Methodist church.


George Neal - Voted sexiest man alive, 1821.

Voted sexiest man alive, 1821.

Photo by: Neal

Major Neal married, had a daughter Esther, and purchased 200 acres in the Port Rowan Long Point area at Cope's Landing, Ontario. On February 27, 1840, while his granddaughter was reading scripture to him, Major George Neal was hit on the head with an errant pineapple. How the pineapple found its way to Canada remains a mystery. In any event, the noggin clockin' caused the amnesia to disappear and both George and Neal's memories overwhelmed Major Neal.

Missing his/their respective families (and vowing he/they would never tell them about his/their wife, children, grandchildren, and Canadian property ownership), Major Neal faked his/their death the very next day. It was easy back then. He/they just said, "I'm dying" closed his eyes, and held his/their breath. When no one was looking, he/they built a rudimentary time machine out of twigs, berries, and of course, rocks and put it in his/their pocket. After his/their burial, he/they activated the time machine, traveling back to 2029. He/they reverse-engineered their DNA joining (did I mention, ewww?), thereby finally separating George and Neal. There were little long-term physical ramifications, other than Neal smelling like George (egg drop soup) and George smelling like neal (feet, soaked in egg drop soup). Like everything else in this chronology, the events were entirely true. As proof, one need only to visit the Neal Memorial Methodist Church in Port Rowan, Ontario (which was established in September 1912 by George Neal's grandson, Rev. George Neal Hazen, and which still remains to honor "Canada's First Saddlebag Preacher"). One could also read more about these events at

Tags: 1700s(1) 1912(1) 1986(8) 2029(2) britain(9) celebrities(69) christian(8) genetics(16) george funk(11) historic events(18) movies(41) neal funk(18) offspring(13) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) religion(11) teleportation(10) that's what she said(6) time machine(37) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) canada(4) george neal(1) jeff goldblum(1) lake erie(1) neil armstrong(1) ontario(1) rev. george neal hazen(1) scotland(3) south carolina(1) the fly(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

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Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll

Views: 468/15170
Added: 09/24/2012

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal weren't so shocked as Johnson & Johnson's sponsorship and promotion of the arts as much as we were at the fact that these incredible shows of support have been kept secret from the multitudes. Among the shocking discoveries are:

And we're positive that we've only scratched the surface of Johnson & Johnson's mysterious involvement in the history of Rock & Roll.

Tags: 1998(9) 2010(16) 2014(7) celebrities(69) conspiracy theories(7) in good company(6) music(26)
Names Mentioned: acuvue(1) aerosmith(2) baltimora(1) band-aid(1) chris deburgh(1) dark side of the moon(1) devo(1) eric clapton(1) farm-aid(1) george hardie(1) h o r d e fest(1) johnson & johnson(1) lilith fair(1) lollapalooza(1) ozzy osbourne(2) pink floyd(2) sisqo(2) steven tyler(1) tylenol(1) woodstock(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

<< Sep 23, 2012  Oct 18, 2012 >>

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