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In 2014, after declaring bankruptcy and losing everything, George and Neal came to their rescue and offered both Rod Blagojevich and Donald Trump an opportunity to stop living on the streets of Chicago and sharing a cardboard box behind Tony Rezko's house (i.e. under the El tracks on Van Buren and Clark). In 2015 the SyFy channel aired a special live presentation of ECW Wrestling. The match-up was a bloody battle between Blago's and Trump's hair. The 6 hour battle was called a draw but ended up spawning a spin-off show called "Law and Order and Corruption - You're Fired Unit", which aired on NBC after "Law and Order - Not Quite As Special Victims Unit", before "Law and Order - Criminal Negligence", on alternate weeks with "Law and Order - Park District Squad" but only during the off season for "Law and Order - Police Brutality".
Did you know that George and Neal have written speeches for so many great politicians? Some of their best work includes:
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.” - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
“It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!” - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.” - Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
“I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.” - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons.
“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.” - Charles de Gaulle, former French President
Neal and George considered writing speeches for Donald Trump, but realized they could not improve upon them.
"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." - Not by George and Neal - Much as we'd like to claim credit for this gem, The Donald came up with it all on his own.
Photo by: George
It surely goes without saying that, for thousands of years, George and Neal had an enormous impact on pop culture. They affected everything from television shows to movies, music to currency (especially during 2037-2062 where they convinced the world to use Beanie Babies as the universal currency.) Below you will find a section from the TV Guide for April 5-11, 2065, which illustrates the great impact they had on the television landscape. Note that most shows were created by George and Neal. The rest were created by George, George, George, Neal, and Neal (thanks to their forays into cloning).
Fun Fact: before being beamed directly into your skull (whether you wanted it or not), TV Guide use to be printed on an ancient material known as “paper.
Photo by: Neal
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Photos by: Neal
Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time machine (which explains why many of his movies are so historically accurate), and he used it to once again tip the election in his favor. Civic duty demanded George and Neal change the timeline back. However, Mel then went back in time to alter the timeline so he won the election again. This back and forth went on seven hundred more times. The good news was that George and Neal averted a timeline where Mel Gibson was president. However, the bad news was that due to the constant tearing of the timeline fabric, for a period of time our president was Lindsey Lohan, then Megatron from Transformers, then a zombie Richard Nixon (his platform was "braaaaainnns!"), then an inanimate hat (its platform, oddly enough, was also "braaaaainnns!") and finally, Donald Trump. They kept trying to fix the timeline after that point, but nothing could be altered. Well, other than the fact that now Trump and Hillary Clinton are now secret, passionate lovers.
George and Neal felt really bad about messing up so badly (it being the first time they ever made a mistake), but this didn't stop them from capitalizing on the situation and writing a torrid romance novel about Trump and Clinton's love affair.
"This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"
Photo by: Neal
Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.
Photo by: Neal
NY Times called the book, "Painfully detailed."
Hillary wrote the foreword, which read only: "Damn you both."
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Photos by: Neal
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
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