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Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin

Views: 161/3490
Added: 02/14/2009

They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(47) origin(24) recipes(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: billy dee williams(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The DHARMA Initiative

Views: 191/5034
Added: 03/09/2009

In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse. Also, to make peanut butter that won't stick to the roof of your mouth. Unfortunately, there are those who oppose such a peanut butter, and we have been at war with those Hostiles (or "Jiffys" as we also call them) ever since. We called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and asked them to hold off for a while. Since they too like peanut butter that doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth they agreed to wait until we have perfected our recipe. We've since stopped research on peanut butter, but don't tell the Horsemen.

 

The DHARMA Initiative - Famine got lucky this time with a PB&J sandwich. Too bad Pestilence had already handled it and contaminated it with salmonella.

Famine got lucky this time with a PB&J sandwich. Too bad Pestilence had already handled it and contaminated it with salmonella.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1973(2) apocalypse(3) food(44) organizations(15) peanuts(6) recipes(9) they stole our ideas(7) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: lost(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Prolific Pancake Pileup

Views: 576/5252
Added: 03/12/2009

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were filed against George and Neal after they chucked countless pancakes at oncoming traffic. (Wikipedia "the Prolific Pancake Pileup" for more information). A movie, "The Illinois Pancake Massacre", involving a serial killer who used pancakes as his weapon of choice, was only loosely based on the incident.

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1952(3) food(44) inventions(47) lawsuits(13) movies(40) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) illinois(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Broccloaf

Views: 108/2402
Added: 03/18/2009

In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not to be outdone, Neal created the vegetarian alternative, Broccloaf. It tastes terrible. The Scottish love it.

Tags: 1993(1) awards and recognition(12) food(44) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: new jersey(1) scotland(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Mmmmmmm... George Juice!

Views: 205/4812
Added: 03/20/2009

For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spices"). In 2004, George bottled and sold the bathsauce under the moniker "George Juice". Its sales are considerable, and some believe it has medicinal uses. This is not to be confused with "Neal Juice", which you don't want to know the ingredients of.

 

Mmmmmmm...  George Juice! - George Juice - It's tragically delicious.At least in theory. We've never actually tried it, but it sells like hotcakes!

George Juice - It's tragically delicious.

At least in theory. We've never actually tried it, but it sells like hotcakes!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2004(3) business ventures(43) food(44) george funk(11) recipes(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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New George and New Neal

Views: 184/4572
Added: 09/08/2009

On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to create New George and New Neal. Much like the New Coke, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and the original George and Neal were back on the market in less than 3 months (though secretly, much like the New Coke, many thought New George and Neal tasted better).

After the reintroduction of Original George and Neal, popular opinion surrounding them skyrocketed. Countless nations (including the kingdoms of England, the Netherlands, and Talossa) proclaimed George and Neal their Kings. This, too, led to its own set of problems, as George, bitter at the idea of having to share his kingdoms with an equally awesome and well-endowed genius, plotted to overthrow Neal. Neal did the same. Luckily, they were able to resolve their differences over a three-day game of Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.

Tags: 1985(4) business ventures(43) genetics(16) george funk(11) neal funk(18) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) coca-cola(1) netherlands(1) new coke(2) talossa(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce

Views: 1340/6206
Added: 09/18/2009

In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make a Dr. Pepper flavored barbecue sauce. In support of his favorite jaguanst, George developed a Mountain Dew flavored barbecue sauce. Both sauces sold well, but the debate over which one was better was beginning to get bloody by late 2009. So, in the interest of world peace, George and Neal halted production of the two sauces and developed the hybrid Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce. The sauce was mind-numbingly awesome, and swept the nation. In fact, people began simply drinking the barbecue sauce rather than applying it to their tasty meat (that's what she said, am I right?). Soon, companies began distributing the bbq sauce in vending machines (20 oz. for only $1.75!). Gradually, all currencies in the world were replaced by bottles of barbecue sauce, which led to a more solid global economy, ancillary causing world peace. It only lasted 14 minutes, but man, what a great 14 minutes!

Tags: 2008(6) 2009(21) 3041(1) business ventures(43) economy(8) food(44) inventions(47) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) recipes(9) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2) mountain dew(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Happy Chomp-akah

Views: 217/2874
Added: 12/05/2013

Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.

 

Happy Chomp-akah - "It's.. deliciously...painful..."

"It's.. deliciously...painful..."

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2013(7) chanakah(1) chanananananaukah(1) chanukah(1) chanukkah(1) gelt(1) gold tastes bad(1) hanukah(1) hanukkah(1) holidays(8) jewish(6) recipes(9) religion(11) things neal eats(8) tleg(1)
Names Mentioned: adin simon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Chewie Wookie Cookies

Views: 71/434
Added: 03/08/2017

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her troop was one of the first in the Core Worlds, but began to struggle with funding as a result of increased costs for their grassroots support of the Rebel Alliance. Leia helped to organize a bake sale, selling cookies to support her Troop and the idea caught on. Within a few years Troops all around the galaxy were selling cookies to support Girl Scout Troops from Naboo to Hoth. By 2 BBY the Girl Scouts had standardized on several different cookie flavors, and the most popular varieties started are still available during annual fundraising drives for Girl Scouts in several different galaxies throughout the Universe (except on Alderaan, unfortunately). In 28 ABY the Girl Scouts redesigned their logo to honor Leia's inspirational work in both the Girl Scouts and the Rebel Alliance. Today the logo, known as the Trefoil, still reflects Leia's signature hairstyle.

 

Chewie Wookie Cookies - Today's most popular selling cookie is the Thin Mint, but in Leia's time the most popular variety were the Chewie Wookie cookies.

Today's most popular selling cookie is the Thin Mint, but in Leia's time the most popular variety were the Chewie Wookie cookies.

Photo by: George

Tags: are girl scout cookies made from real girl scouts?(1) cookie(2) cookies(2) food(44) it's not all about us(1) recipes(9) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: girl scout cookies(1) girl scouts(1) princess leia(1) star wars(6)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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