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Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.
In 1989 George and Neal had a falling out and didn't speak to each other for over 40 years, until they reconnected over their love of "Rock Smoothies". When they invented their time machine a few weeks after reconnecting, they decided that those 40 years were pretty foolish. So they traveled back to 1989, killed their previous selves, and carried on as if nothing had happened. No one ever questioned why they aged 40 years overnight.
In 1959, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on. Please.
These used to be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" but at some point, due to a glitch in the time machine or teleportation device, Clem ceased to exist. There is absolutely no record of Clem except for this cryptic photograph (and the t-shirts that both Neal and George have saying "I am Currently Surviving The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding) and All I Have is This Lousy T-Shirt!"):
On second thought, maybe this WILL be "The Grand Saga of George, Neal, and Clem's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!"... Regardless, we have no idea who Clem is or will be and no recollection of this photograph ever being taken, even though Neal and George each have a copy that they carry with them in their wallets.
Photo by: George
In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, and an industrial-sized stapler. Either they did this twice or they didn't learn the first time, or maybe this was the first time and 1959 hadn't happened yet for them, I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to talk about it. Let's move on. Please.
In 1998 George let the dogs out, but he let them back in as soon as they were finished doing their duty. Anslem Douglas didn't believe him though and kept giving him the third degree. He even got the Baha Men to start pestering George. C'mon guys, stop the nagging!
Here the dogs are out.
Photo by: George
And see, they're back in now. Now get off my case about it already!!!
Photo by: George
In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu and screaming "I LOVED YOU IN BEING JOHN MALKOVICH!" was the final straw - on a side note, Neal's constant mention of that film is what made John decide to take the roll of Craig Schwartz 10 years later). Cusack ended up body slamming Neal just minutes before filming the iconic radio scene. If you look closely in that scene you can see Neal's foot twitching in the bottom right corner of the frame.
Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.
Photo by: George
In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.