During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal weren't so shocked as Johnson & Johnson's sponsorship and promotion of the arts as much as we were at the fact that these incredible shows of support have been kept secret from the multitudes. Among the shocking discoveries are:
Ironically, Ozzy cried himself to sleep every night of this tour.
This alternative cover was not was not approved by George Hardie, however Guido 'Knuckles' Johnson and Vinnie 'I Breaka You Face' Johnson were very convincing.
Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).
George befriends a young Paul McCartney. This moment later inspired the song, "Here Comes the Son."
Photo by: Neal
Many of the musicians they befriended wrote songs about George and Neal, though this is not commonly known. For example:
- Metallica's "Enter Sandman" was about the time George baby-sat James Hetfield, and sang him soothing lullabies. (Circa 1988).
- Prince's "When Doves Cry" was about the time Neal and Prince were playing basketball and Neal tripped on a bird. (Circa 1981)
- Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" was about the time George accidentally switched Frankie's eye drops with superglue. (Circa 1942)
- The Kingston Trio's "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" is about the time Neal dated Dave Guard's mom, and being short on cash, Neal picked all the flowers from Guard's backyard to give to his mother. (Circa 1941)
- The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" is about the time George taught Brian Wilson's high school science class, and hit water with a vibrating tuning fork. (Circa 1958)
- Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is about the time Neal babysat a 9 year old Kurt Cobain. That day, Kurt discovered Neal's odd choice of deodorant. (Circa 1976)
- Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall"? All about the time George and Neal hired a young Roger Waters to assist in their short-lived construction business providing homes for the poor and evil (known as Habitat for Inhumanity). (Circa 1963)
Officially, George and Neal can both say, "We liked them before they were cool."
Officially, the rest of the world can secretly desire to punch them both in the face.
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.