The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Band Camp

Views: 150/1549
Added: 02/13/2009

Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.

Tags: forget this ever happened(9) music(26) our bands(9)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Worst... Enya... Ever...

Views: 228/6007
Added: 03/20/2009

George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his present time. George tells everyone he meets this fact. In 2000, Neal was the sixth Backstreet Boy. Neal tells no one this fact. However, Neal is quite proud of the short time that he posed as Enya while in witness protection. Despite poor reviews ("Worst... Enya... Ever..."), his concerts were quite popular; though this might have something to do with "Enya's" new mandate requiring copious amounts of backup-singer nudity.

Tags: 2000(7) beatles(3) celebrities(69) music(26) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: backstreet boys(1) beatles(4) enya(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Sorry-for-the-Hyphens

Views: 167/5236
Added: 03/22/2009

In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor semi-autobiographical hits, including: "This-Restraining-Order-Means-I-Love-You"; "Please-Don't-Throw-That-Toaster-In-The-Tub"; "If-Our-Love-Is-Like-Plumbing-Then-Quit-Treating-Me-Like-A-Toilet" and "Your-Heart,-Like-My-Assets,-Is-Frozen". The band dissolved when George started his acting career with the prime-time forensics drama "Sesame Heat - Furry Victims Unit" and Neal created a one-man play, "Batman and Robin Williams". Neither fared all that well.

Tags: 1983(6) hair(11) music(26) our bands(9) theater(8) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: batman(8) law and order(2) robin williams(8) sesame street(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Definitely not Vain

Views: 192/4870
Added: 03/23/2009

In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy love affair with George. Making it even more ironic, George had no idea the song was about him.

 

Definitely not Vain - Carly and Hotcakes, before the pain...

Carly and Hotcakes, before the pain...

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1988(6) 2000(7) celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) music(26)
Names Mentioned: billy joel(1) carly simon(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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KISS

Views: 174/5586
Added: 04/13/2009

George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively was cool enough. They also tried to convince Peter Criss to come with, but he seemed to like the cat makeup. Peter Criss did eventually leave the band in 1980 but kept returning and quitting the band throughout the years. In 1994 George and Neal became nostalgic for the KISS years and grew fond of the raccoon and chimp makeup and are now rarely seen in public without it.

Tags: 1974(6) 1980(4) 1994(4) celebrities(69) george's fashion sense(12) music(26) neal's fashion sense(20) our bands(9)
Names Mentioned: kiss(2) peter criss(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Sinatra Sluggers

Views: 830/5327
Added: 04/15/2009

In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather because as George put it, "hey, we have a time machine, wouldn't that be just awesome to do?" To which Neal replied, "Cooooool...." What was less cool was the fact that after gut-punching Sinatra, Neal and George were beaten senseless by Sinatra's "buddies". Johnny "No Thumbs" was especially rough on George and Neal.

Tags: 1970(1) celebrities(69) music(26) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) revenge(6) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: frank sinatra(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

Views: 220/6095
Added: 06/01/2009

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(40) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper

Views: 383/5589
Added: 06/03/2009

Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, the harmonica, comprised of marshmallows, candy canes, and prunes (monikered "Marshmonica") was criticized as the world's worst food - both in taste and in nutrition, but got rave reviews by harmonica virtuoso John Popper who purchased them in bulk. George's later edible instruments, including the hamburchordian, cheeseborine, Jaguanstophone, and pizziano were even less successful. Although the Tubagna, a combo tuba/lasagna creation, was in the works, and showed great promise, George and Neal abandoned the project altogether, when the homeless actually banded together and offered to pay them to stop.

Tags: 2058(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) food(45) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) music(26)
Names Mentioned: dateline(2) john popper(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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2008 Election Campaigns

Views: 171/5357
Added: 06/06/2009

During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writing "Obama Told Me (You Better Shop Around)," "Obama Told Me There'd Be Day's Like This", and "Obama I'm Coming Home", the duo were fired for copyright infringement (and are currently facing lawsuits from a number of musicians, Ozzy Ozbourne included). They were quickly hired by Sarah Palin's camp to mitigate the damage done as a result of the Katie Couric interview. Though George and Neal's song "Hooked on a Palin" did little to help Palin's situation, they gained a new friend and confidant.

Tags: 2008(6) celebrities(69) lawsuits(13) music(26) obama(4) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: barack obama(4) katie couric(1) ozzy osbourne(2) sarah palin(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Hair, Inc.

Views: 625/11499
Added: 06/29/2009

In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. The business was an overnight success when the Beatles (who were actually all completely bald) became their first clients. Over the years our business has grown and we supply hair for all the biggest stars. We had our most profitable decade in the 1980's with the rise in popularity of "Glam Rock" and "Hair Metal" bands. Some of our highest profile clients include, in addition to The Beatles, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, Poison, Don King, Lyle Lovett, Twisted Sister's Dee Snider, Willie Nelson, ZZ Top (but just their beards), Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley of Kiss, Crystal Gayle, and the left half of David Bowie's head, just to name a few. We have been trying to gain Paul Simon, Ron Howard and Sinead O'Connor as clients for years without success. Brittney Spears was our client at one point, but we had a falling out in February 2007 before she turned to one of our inferior competitors, "Rock Locks" (who also services the rest of Kiss, Slaughter, Howard Stern, and Motley Crew, among others). We also used to do the hair for Metallica, until they decided to start sucking. About the only celebrity who's hair is actually real is our good friend David Allan Coe's, and that's some bad-ass hair for an old guy.

 

Hair, Inc. - Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Photo by: George

 

Not a client of Hair, Inc. - George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1964(2) 2007(2) beatles(3) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) hair(11) music(26)
Names Mentioned: ace frehley(1) aerosmith(2) beatles(4) brittney spears(1) crystal gayle(1) david allan coe(1) david bowie(1) dee snider(1) don king(1) gene simmons(1) howard stern(1) kiss(2) lyle lovett(1) metallica(2) motley crew(1) paul simon(2) poison(1) rolling stones(2) ron howard(2) sinead o'connor(1) slaughter(1) twisted sister(1) willie nelson(1) zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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The Rolling Beatles

Views: 167/8246
Added: 08/09/2009

So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go back in time and force John and Paul to join forces with Mick and Keith. Thus, the band "The Rolling Beatles" took the music scene by storm.

 

The Rolling Beatles - Finally... satisfaction.

Finally... satisfaction.

Photo by: Neal

The music was so astonishingly good that other musicians gave up in defeat and besides the music of the Rolling Beatles, almost no other music has been produced since 1968.... Almost. Neal and George got such a rush from combining two musical groups that they went back in time to do the same thing a few more times over. Now, instead of debating "Beatles vs. Stones", the world debates "The Rolling Beatles vs. Hammer | Hendrix." Most agree, it's a toss-up.

 

Hammer | Hendrix - What time is it? All Along The Watchtower, the Clock Strikes HAMMERTIME!

What time is it? All Along The Watchtower, the Clock Strikes HAMMERTIME!

Photo by: Neal

(As an aside, most agree that it's best not to acknowledge Reznor/Hanson inappropriately named collaboration, "The Nine Inch Hanson Brothers" nor the Prince/Pearl Jam collaboration, "Prince Pearl".)

Tags: 1968(4) 2022(4) beatles(3) celebrities(69) competition(10) mashups(12) music(26) our bands(9) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: beatles(4) hanson(1) jimmi hendrix(2) john lennon(1) keith richards(1) m c hammer(1) mick jaggar(1) nine inch nails(2) paul mccartney(2) pearl jam(1) prince(4) rolling stones(2) trent reznor(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson

Views: 257/6400
Added: 08/09/2009

As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach Boys, originally known as the Couch Boys. We turned out several minor hits, including Channel Surfin' USA, Channel Surfer Girl, Channel Surfin' Safari, and Couch Vibrations. In 1961 Brian decided Surfing was more marketable than sitting on a couch, kicked us out of the band, and changed the name. We were hurt for a time, but in the long run things worked out. Brian apologized by dedicating the "Pet Sounds" album to us (a reference to George's singing), but we really feel vindicated now. Today people still spend too much time sitting on their couches and no one cares about the Beach Boys any more. Suck on that Brian!

 

Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...That was a classic!

The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.

I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...

That was a classic!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1961(1) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: beach boys(1) brian wilson(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right

Views: 184/15147
Added: 09/13/2009

In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original artists were singing. Neal's rendition of Jimmi Hendrix's Purple Haze was an instant hit ('Scuse me while I kiss this guy) while George's version of CCR's Bad Moon Risin' (There's a bathroom on the right) became the theme song for Larry Craig's 2012 presidential campaign. Other songs on the album included:
- Queen's Bohemian Raphsody (Scallaboosh, Scallaboosh, will you do the banned tango... and ...The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeeeeeeee....)
- Led Zepplin's Stairway To Heaven (And there's a wino down the road)
- Nirvana's All Apologies (Smoking on the ashes of your Aunt Louise)
- The Sound of Music's So Long, Farewell (So long, farewell, our feet are saying good-bye)
- Nirvana's Heart-Shaped Box (Hey, Wayne, I've got a new Cobain)
- Elvis's Are you Lonesome Tonight (Are you loathsome tonight? Do you mince meat....)
- The Beatles' Ticket to Ride (She's got a chicken to ride.)
- REM's The One I Love (This one goes out to the one-eyed dove.)
- Judy Garland's Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Where Tribbles smell like lemon drops)
- Madonna's Material Girl (I'm a Cheerio girl)
- Frank Sinatra's Strangers in the Night (Strangers and your wife, exchanging glances...)
- NIN's Closer (I want a duck shaped like a triangle, You give a toaster to Bob)
- Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water (Like a bridge over a tub of water)
- Glen Miller's Chattanooga Choo Choo (Pardon me boys, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?)

 

Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".

We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".

Photo by: George

Tags: 2012(14) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: art garfunkel(1) beatles(4) cheerios(1) creedence clearwater revival(1) elvis presley(1) frank sinatra(2) glen miller(2) jimmi hendrix(2) judy garland(1) larry craig(1) led zepplin(1) madonna(1) nine inch nails(2) nirvana(2) paul simon(2) queen(1) rem(1) shamu(1) simon & garfunkel(1) u2(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Lady Gaga vs P!nk

Views: 483/6169
Added: 09/29/2009

In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours before a strung out old skank arrived, bitch slapped both girls, flashed the crowd, and passed out. Lady Gaga and P!nk stopped fighting, shook hands, and decided that no matter how freaky they each became, neither of them had anything on Courtney Love.

 

Lady Gaga vs P!nk - This may have been the strangest UFC match ever aired, even stranger than George's battle with Deep Blue or Neal's fight against that octopus.

This may have been the strangest UFC match ever aired, even stranger than George's battle with Deep Blue or Neal's fight against that octopus.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2011(8) celebrities(69) kicking ass(16) music(26) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: courtney love(1) lady gaga(1) p!nk(1) ultimate fighting championship(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Restraining Orders Suck

Views: 185/7806
Added: 01/29/2010

Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away from one another (except for that brief period in 2058 when they secretly invented the edible harmonica under cover of the darkest night). In 2059, Awesomeness!™ was reinstated, and George and Neal were allowed to continue their adventures. They reconnected during 2059... Well, in actual fact, for them it was 2059, but they really reconnected during 424 BCE, in Ancient Persia. At that time, George and Neal started a business selling camels to the citizens of Persia (which were used in combat because of the camels' natural ability to scare off horses in close ranges, a quality famously employed by the Achaemenid Persians when fighting Lydia... See? Education is fun!). George and Neal were known for selling camels with enhanced feet and toes, which assisted the camels during their long and sometimes treacherous travel. You can still purchase your own enhanced camel, provided you, too, have a time machine and can find George and Neal's shop, "Freaky Deaky Camels". (Not the best name for a shop, but much better than Neal's suggestion, "Hey, Look at all my Camel Toes!" and George's suggestion, "My Friend Neal Has Camel Toes".)

Tags: .424 bce(1) 2056(2) 2058(2) 2059(3) animals(16) business ventures(44) education(9) food(45) gimme a break(5) government(16) laws(10) mashups(12) music(26) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: persia(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Hungry Eyes

Views: 202/9496
Added: 08/25/2012

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

 

Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(40) music(26) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend

Views: 186/7091
Added: 08/26/2012

In 2022 Neal was having a mid-life crisis and had decided to head to Vegas to gamble his life savings away. George joined him thinking it would be a great opportunity to film a documentary. George recorded Neal's obsessive gambling (slots, blackjack, roulette, he tried everything to no avail). Eventually, Neal was completely broke (had even sold his shoes, pants and shirt) and had finally resorted to singing parodies of Weird Al songs in the hopes of earning a few cents or a crust of bread. An unusually sympathetic transvestite chorus girl (guy?) decided to give him a break and tossed $5 in his plastic tip cup. He immediately used it to play Keno at the Mirage, and won! And he didn't stop winning until he had earned $1.5 million, plus a new pair of pants! By 2030 Neal was a multi-billionaire and George won an Oscar for their documentary, entitled "Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend".

 

Neal and Out - The Fall and Rise of a Modern Legend - It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

It is suspected that this movie's Academy Award wasn't the result of the heartwarming, incredible story of Neal's Keno winnings, but rather the fact that George narrated the whole thing while breathing massive quantities of helium. Also the narration had nothing to do with the movie, but was just George reading from The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2022(4) 2030(3) celebrities(69) games(15) movies(40) music(26) scantily clad people(15) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: academy awards(2) las vegas(1) mirage hotel and casino(1) weird al yankovic(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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...and over and over and over...

Views: 185/4735
Added: 09/01/2012

In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our time machine and didn't need to know the future). The study was proceeding very well, with huge leaps of knowledge about how to read other peoples' minds, until March 15, 2037. Two days previously subject 1337 shouted "Beware the Ides of March". But since we weren't studying prophecy, and didn't see any inherent danger in the song "Vehicle", we ignored him. Unfortunately that was a mistake because on Sunday, March 15, 2037 we began Operation Baffle, in which we paired up our telepathic test subjects and asked them to read each other's minds. We failed to anticipate the feedback loop that would be caused as each telepath read the mind of another telepath that was reading the mind of the initial telepath again. The result was a complete meltdown in the research facility as alpha brainwaves were mutated into destructive tau patterns (dubbed taunamis). Every telepath entered a catatonic state, except for one, who described the mind boggling effect to be like looking in a mirror with another mirror behind you. The same thought patterns were repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... We've since decided to stop messing around with the laws of metaphysics. Physics is still fair game though.

Tags: 2036(2) 2037(1) music(26) oops(16) science(28)
Names Mentioned: ides of march(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Golden Spleens

Views: 1374/4352
Added: 09/23/2012

In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 they were restored to their normal selves. Except for their spleens, which went on to have songs and limericks written about them, like "There once was a spleen I've been told, Around for so long it was old, This spleen could not rupture, For its atomic structure, Had been changed from carbon to gold."

 

Golden Spleens - George's spleen, pictured above, was pretty laid back and didn't let fame and fortune spoil its relaxed attitude.

George's spleen, pictured above, was pretty laid back and didn't let fame and fortune spoil its relaxed attitude.

Photo by: George

 

The Spleen Rebels - Neal's spleen, however, took the first opportunity it got to leave its happy, comfy home in Neal's abdomen...

Neal's spleen, however, took the first opportunity it got to leave its happy, comfy home in Neal's abdomen...

Photo by: George

 

Disco Spleen! - ...and hit the night clubs, impressing the ladies, and neglecting its blood scrubbing duties. Lucky for Neal, the spleen is a non-vital organ (but don't tell the spleens that).

...and hit the night clubs, impressing the ladies, and neglecting its blood scrubbing duties. Lucky for Neal, the spleen is a non-vital organ (but don't tell the spleens that).

Photo by: George

Tags: 4539(1) 5935(1) body parts(14) music(26) science(28)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (3)

 
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Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll

Views: 195/11013
Added: 09/24/2012

During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson company has been clandestinely influencing some of Rock & Roll's greatest artists. George and Neal weren't so shocked as Johnson & Johnson's sponsorship and promotion of the arts as much as we were at the fact that these incredible shows of support have been kept secret from the multitudes. Among the shocking discoveries are:


And we're positive that we've only scratched the surface of Johnson & Johnson's mysterious involvement in the history of Rock & Roll.

Tags: 1998(9) 2010(16) 2014(7) celebrities(69) conspiracy theories(7) in good company(6) music(26)
Names Mentioned: acuvue(1) aerosmith(2) baltimora(1) band-aid(1) chris deburgh(1) dark side of the moon(1) devo(1) eric clapton(1) farm-aid(1) george hardie(1) h o r d e fest(1) johnson & johnson(1) lilith fair(1) lollapalooza(1) ozzy osbourne(2) pink floyd(2) sisqo(1) steven tyler(1) tylenol(1) woodstock(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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They like us, they REALLY like us!

Views: 144/7314
Added: 03/23/2013

Somehow, a tribute video was found in 1035 A.D. Weird... The video is a collection of photos from some of George and Neal's greatest achievements, set to a song that sounds remarkably like Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You". Awwww, how touching... (Eeew, get your hands off!) 1035 A. D.? We KNEW Sarah McLachlan ripped that song off of somebody. Strange, her version sounds almost exactly the same as the one from almost 1000 years ago! And gee, whoever did that song sure misses us. We should probably go back and visit.

 




1035 A.D.!!!
No video? Visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPT3JEFDACo

Tags: 1035(1) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) movies(40) music(26) videos(1)
Names Mentioned: Sarah McLachlan(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)

 
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Swingin' Records!

Views: 267/10387
Added: 04/19/2013

In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (1974). Their songs were all chart-topping, yet widely held as the worst songs ever made. (For a full list of their super-popular, super-terrible songs, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst#Songs).

Prompted by their musical success, George and Neal released their own record, George and Neal Get Aural. Some people say the music was misunderstood, because it was way ahead of its time; but some people are idiots. The music was atrocious. The album was released on January 6, 1953. One day later, President Truman announced that the US developed the Hydrogen Bomb. George and Neal believe this to be no coincidence, and was in direct response to their album's release. Nevertheless, the album spawned three hit singles, "The Ballad of Clem (Who?)", "Misplaced Coinpurse", and "Party Like It's 1234 B.C." (the latter forming the basis for George and Neal's lawsuit against Prince for his song "Party Like It's 1999" despite the fact that they wrote the song in 2016 (well after Prince released his song) but released it in 1953.)

 

Swingin' Records! - Sorry, girls, they're married.

Sorry, girls, they're married.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1953(1) 1974(6) 1985(4) 2000(7) 2016(8) best album ever(1) celebrities(69) chart topping(4) get aural(2) great music(4) hot tunes(2) lawsuits(13) music(26) our bands(9) party like its 1999(2) record(1) trippy(1) we built this city on rock and roll(3) who let the dogs out(2) you're having my baby(1)
Names Mentioned: Baha Boys(2) jefferson starship(1) paul anka(1) president truman(2) prince(4) starship(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Rue Bourbon is Distracting

Views: 671/5638
Added: 08/23/2013

In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. As of 2162 it has sold out more shows than "Cats", "Phantom", "Les Mis", "Gigli on Broadway", and "Spamalot" combined and is the longest continuously running musical in history and the only musical to still feature the original cast (thank the time machine for that). The show is an uplifting story set around the holidays and features a multitude of wonderful songs from several traditional cultural and religious backgrounds. Here are a few verses from the multiple award winning "Rising Sun Megamix" hit song from the soundtrack:

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it out of clay
And when it's dry and ready
Then dreidel I shall play!

Oh, did we mention that the entire musical is set to the traditional folk tune, "House of the Rising Sun"? Go ahead, sing a few verses, you're guaranteed to love it, or your money back!

 

Rue Bourbon is Distracting - Oddly enough the musical didn't play in New Orleans.  We were somehow distracted by Bourbon Street (Neal did manage to 'earn' quite a few beads though.)

Oddly enough the musical didn't play in New Orleans. We were somehow distracted by Bourbon Street (Neal did manage to 'earn' quite a few beads though.)

Photo by: George

Tags: 2069(1) 2162(1) brothel(2) chart topping(4) holidays(8) music(26) religion(11) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: broadway(3) cats(1) gigli(1) house of the rising sun(1) les mis(1) new orleans(1) phantom(1) spamalot(1) the animals(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds

Views: 328/11563
Added: 04/24/2014

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.

 


Listen to and download:
The Jaros Yodel.

The Simon Whimper.

Tags: amazing abilities(16) get aural(2) great music(4) in good company(6) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) music(26) sounds our bodies can make(1) turn it up and rock out(1) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: wilhelm scream(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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We Made Bon Jovi Cool

Views: 185/1996
Added: 01/03/2016

In early 1986 Bon Jovi was working on their album Slippery When Wet. Because their previous album wasn't as successful as they had hoped, they hired professional songwriter Desmond Child as a collaborator. He helped write some of the biggest hits from the album, including "You Give Love A Bad Name" and "Livin' on a Prayer". The other Billboard Top 10 hit from the album, "Wanted Dead or Alive" was very nearly a disaster. Written by Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora, the song wasn't originally quite as cool as it turned out to be. Luckily George and Neal stepped in just in time and recommended that the lyrics be changed to "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, I'm wanted dead or alive, Wanted dead or alive" from the original "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride, three year olds want me, want me to get off their ride." We felt most people would agree that guitar toting outlaws riding motorcycles is much cooler than hogging the mechanical horse at the local five and dime.

 

We Made Bon Jovi Cool - The original album cover is also something we recommended be changed.  But in hindsight, maybe Bon Jovi should have kept it...

The original album cover is also something we recommended be changed. But in hindsight, maybe Bon Jovi should have kept it...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1986(8) music(26) success!(13) things we made better(4) we built this city on rock and roll(3) we wrote that(3)
Names Mentioned: Bon Jovi(1) Desmond Child(1) Jon Bon Jovi(1) Richie Sambora(1) Slippery When Wet(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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I Had Another Dream

Views: 28/176
Added: 12/12/2018

In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin wrote a parody called White Christmas. Oddly, the parody went on to garner more success than the original. In 1948 Doye O'Dell recorded Blue Christmas, a direct statement in support of colored Christmas songs. Over the next few years a whole slew of Christmas songs were released, each one promoting segregation of holiday colors. Tensions rose and things finally came to a head in the 1960s with the extremely controversial 1966 Grateful Dead song, Rainbow Christmas. On December 24, 1967 Martin Luther King Jr. spoke to a throng of millions during a Christmas Eve march to the Capital Plaza Mall.

"I had another dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their Christmas snow, but by the contents of their presents. I had another dream that one day Christmases will be celebrated with snow of all colors; red, green, white, blue, black, gray, and yellow. OK, maybe not the yellow snow, but you see where I'm going with this..."

 

I Had Another Dream - Dr. King's "I Had Another Dream" speech isn't quite as well known as his previous speeches, but it was instrumental in promoting a multi-colored Christmas.  Today you can even buy multi-colored Christmas lights.

Dr. King's "I Had Another Dream" speech isn't quite as well known as his previous speeches, but it was instrumental in promoting a multi-colored Christmas. Today you can even buy multi-colored Christmas lights.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1940(1) 1941(1) 1948(3) 1960s(3) 1966(2) 1967(3) music(26) oh the colors!(1) our bands(9) we wrote that(3) yellow snow(1)
Names Mentioned: Doy O'Dell(1) dr. martin luther king jr.(1) grateful dead(1) irving berlin(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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