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Presidential Passion!

Entry Logged on: January 25, 2017 to Part 4 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Page Views: 43 - Times Displayed: 821

Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time machine (which explains why many of his movies are so historically accurate), and he used it to once again tip the election in his favor. Civic duty demanded George and Neal change the timeline back. However, Mel then went back in time to alter the timeline so he won the election again. This back and forth went on seven hundred more times. The good news was that George and Neal averted a timeline where Mel Gibson was president. However, the bad news was that due to the constant tearing of the timeline fabric, for a period of time our president was Lindsey Lohan, then Megatron from Transformers, then a zombie Richard Nixon (his platform was "braaaaainnns!"), then an inanimate hat (its platform, oddly enough, was also "braaaaainnns!") and finally, Donald Trump. They kept trying to fix the timeline after that point, but nothing could be altered. Well, other than the fact that now Trump and Hillary Clinton are now secret, passionate lovers.

George and Neal felt really bad about messing up so badly (it being the first time they ever made a mistake), but this didn't stop them from capitalizing on the situation and writing a torrid romance novel about Trump and Clinton's love affair.

 

Presidential Passion! - "This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"

"This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"

Photo by: Neal

 

 - Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.

Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.

Photo by: Neal

NY Times called the book, "Painfully detailed."

Hillary wrote the foreword, which read only: "Damn you both."

Tags: 2016(8) braaaains(1) donald trump(1) election(1) hillary clinton(1) inanimate hat(1) lindsey lohan(1) megatron(1) mel gibson(1) richard nixon(1) torrid romance(1) transformers(1) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: donald trump(10) hillary clinton(1) lindsey lohan(2) megatron(1) mel gibson(1) richard nixon(1) transformers(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: donald trump(10), hillary clinton(1), lindsey lohan(2), megatron(1), mel gibson(1), richard nixon(1), transformers(2)

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  • 2016 - (7 Other Entries)
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
    • Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
    • 2015 - In 2015 George and Neal will have finalized all of the details surrounding their friendship. That is, until 2016, when they will have to chronicle all...
    • George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
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  • braaaains - (No Other Entries)
  • donald trump - (No Other Entries)
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  • hillary clinton - (No Other Entries)
  • inanimate hat - (No Other Entries)
  • lindsey lohan - (No Other Entries)
  • megatron - (No Other Entries)
  • mel gibson - (No Other Entries)
  • richard nixon - (No Other Entries)
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  • zombies - (20 Other Entries)
    • Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
    • Settling The Great Debate - In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their enviro...
    • On Online Dating - After the success of online dating websites such as "Eharmony" and "J-Date" (a social/dating website for Jewish people), George and Neal created their...
    • Rrhrrrhhhhrrrrrrrgrrhh - In 2030, Neal became a monosyllabic, drooling, undead zombie. No one noticed the difference until 2033.
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
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Other Posts:

  • The DHARMA Initiative - In 1973, Neal and George co-founded the DHARMA initiative (yeah, those Lost guys got the idea from us), in an effort to prevent the pending apocalypse...
  • George's Ghastly Spell and the Toothless Fairy - For four years (1995 - 1999) George filled in for the Boogie Man while he was on sabbatical. Those exceptionally productive years are affectionately k...
  • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
  • Facebroke - On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for H...
  • Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...


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