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Couch Potatoes Illustrated

Entry Logged on: December 10, 2009 to Part 3 by: Neal
Page Views: 155 - Times Displayed: 3661

Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started their own magazine, Couch Potatoes Illustrated. With articles such as "How to Increase Your Lazy Boy Butt Imprint," "Which Brand of Doritos is Right For You" and "20 Ways to Please Your...Self", demand for the magazine was high. Unfortunately, none of the would-be subscribers had enough energy to purchase the magazine, resulting in cancellation after one issue.

Tags: 2009(21) business ventures(44) failures(22) publications(14) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: doritos(1) sports illustrated(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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(Love those Anne Geddes baby-flower costumes.)
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(Documentaries)



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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: doritos(1), sports illustrated(2)

Tags:
  • 2009 - (20 Other Entries)
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • Welcome Back Potter - Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 200...
    • International Infant Sporting League - In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal wel...
    • The Recession of 2009: The Origin - On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some s...
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  • business ventures - (43 Other Entries)
    • Restraining Orders Suck - Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawe...
    • We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic - In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping succ...
    • Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
    • Made in USA - In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers h...
    • It's Convenient: The Origin - In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our i...
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  • failures - (21 Other Entries)
    • It Hood Ats Fla Was - In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's ...
    • A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... - A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely...
    • Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
    • Tooth-whitening Toothpaste - George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "p...
    • Joy to Everyone! - In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make C...
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  • publications - (13 Other Entries)
    • There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • Facebroke - On June 1, 2009 Neal broke Facebook, preventing George from uploading his latest awesome photos. This apparent sabotage was too little, too late for H...
    • Yes, they really said that. - In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly trave...
    • Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy - In 2004, George and Neal publish their educational children's book, "Harold and the Purple Crayon: Harold Discovers the Female Anatomy". The book was ...
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  • slacking and being lazy are hard work - (8 Other Entries)
    • Unintelligent Design - In 2111 George and Neal made waves in the ongoing debate on Evolution vs. Creationism with a new theory of Unintelligent Design, which states that a d...
    • Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach ...
    • The Bucket List - In 1994 George and Neal decided that, although they had had many adventures and experienced some really amazing things that most other people can't ev...
    • We went fishing and all we caught was awful... - In 1976 George and Neal went fishing. All they caught was a cold, the flu, pneumonia, and scarlet fever. But luckily the lake they were fishing on h...
    • March of 2009 - In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Monuments to Greatness - Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln w...
  • Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, G...
  • Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an ...
  • World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum - In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was g...
  • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...


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