On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure them into her trap (truthfully they suspected a trap all along, but thought it was for Garfield and wanted that lasagna before the fat cat arrived). For over 20 months the fearless explorers were trapped in stasis pods and subjected to Midler's mind probes. Finally, on December 31, 2015 George and Neal were heroically rescued by their future selves (from all the way on January 1, 2016). And once again, all was right in the world. Celebration and parties ensued throughout the galaxy until the stroke of midnight (Central Standard Time) when George and Neal actually became their future selves and had to leave the party early to go rescue themselves. I'd explain further, but it just gets more confusing. Hey look, a lasagna!
Luckily George and Neal were rescued by George and Neal before their fate was the same as the poor saps in the other stasis pods. Neal wasn't frightened by that though, it was Bette's prancing that worried him.
Photo by: George
Did you know that George and Neal have written speeches for so many great politicians? Some of their best work includes:
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am -- I am filled with humidity.” - Gib Lewis, speaker of the Texas House
“It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!” - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
“We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally.” - Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
“I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding.” - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons.
“China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.” - Charles de Gaulle, former French President
Neal and George considered writing speeches for Donald Trump, but realized they could not improve upon them.
"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad." - Not by George and Neal - Much as we'd like to claim credit for this gem, The Donald came up with it all on his own.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.