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In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin

Views: 426/3002
Added: 02/09/2009

Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.

After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, did I say bus? I meant brothel.

Tags: brothel(2) business ventures(44) origin(24) rabbits(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin

Views: 185/3732
Added: 02/14/2009

They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(47) origin(24) recipes(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: billy dee williams(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Igpay Atinlay: The Origin

Views: 181/1704
Added: 02/23/2009

Onway ethay iptray ackbay otay 2010 Ealnay andway Eorgegay accidentallyway entway otay 2010 BCEAY. Erethay eythay inventedway Igpay Atinlay. Ethay anguagelay eventuallyway evolvedway intoway actualway Atinlay. Onway anotherway iptray otay 1818 eythay eintroducedray Igpay Atinlay otay ethay orldway andway itway ownay existsway inway itsway urrentcay ormfay.

Tags: .2010 bce(1) 1818(1) 2010(16) ancient wonders(9) languages(11) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Recession of 2009: The Origin

Views: 150/2835
Added: 02/27/2009

On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some space. Neal wasted a few seconds of his time reading the dribble. Then everyone else who read this wasted a few seconds. After a while those seconds added up and years were wasted, just because George couldn't think of anything good to write. So thank you for contributing to the recession of 2009 by wasting precious seconds with which you could have been productive, earning money at a job or spending money to boost the economy. I hope it was worth it.

Tags: 2009(21) economy(8) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Super Bowl: The Origin

Views: 191/3320
Added: 03/05/2009

In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked how they felt about their accomplishments and what their plans for the future were. Their response: "That was Super! [high five] Let's go bowling! [Another high five]" George and Neal then left and bowled 12 consecutive 300 games. However, when their interview was later printed in Sports Illustrated, they were misquoted as saying "That was a Super Bowl!". The name of the event stuck and ever since the World Championship of football has been known as the Super Bowl. Nobody cares about the 1440 consecutive pins they knocked down during their celebratory bowling spree.

Tags: 1967(3) awards and recognition(12) origin(24) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: sports illustrated(2) super bowl(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Napoleon's iPod: The Origin

Views: 173/5270
Added: 03/07/2009

In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the location of the Battle of Borodino. Rumors were that it was a relic of an alien civilization that was manipulating Napoleon through an implant near his ear. They were confused by the label attached to it's battery compartment that said "Property of George, Neal keep your hands off!". Apple's first iPod was a nearly identical copy of the relic.

Tags: 2001(8) aliens(5) ancient wonders(9) inventions(47) ipod(2) napoleon(2) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) ipod(2) napoleon(2) russia(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin

Views: 151/4185
Added: 03/10/2009

George and Neal are in charge or Don Cherry's wardrobe.

 

Don Cherry's Wardrobe: The Origin - George and Neal with Don Cherry and one of his tamer getups.

George and Neal with Don Cherry and one of his tamer getups.

Photo by: George

Tags: celebrities(69) costumes(4) neal's fashion sense(20) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: don cherry(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Opposable Nose: The Origin

Views: 284/5073
Added: 03/13/2009

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embraced the opposable nose. Their culture is very interesting and celebrates the gift of the opposable nose bestowed upon them by their ancient deities Egroeg and Laen, two powerful beings that visited their people with magical devices and funny haircuts.

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin - Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Photo by: George & Neal Collaboration - Caption by: Neal

Tags: .9996 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) inventions(47) nicknames(14) origin(24) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: simushir(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)

 
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Able Archer 83: The Origin

Views: 411/3113
Added: 03/14/2009

In 1983, George devised a 10-day NATO exercise to simulate World War 3, so that all nations participating could see what would happen in the worst case scenario of war. Unfortunately, Neal forgot to tell the Soviet Union about George's game/simulation, resulting in wide-spread Soviet panic and the closest the world has ever come to nuclear war. (Wikipedia: Able Archer 83). Whoops. Neal's bad.

Tags: 1983(6) historic events(18) origin(24) wars(4)
Names Mentioned: able archer 83(1) nato(1) soviet union(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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The Dark Ages: The Origin

Views: 138/3053
Added: 03/25/2009

In about 480 AD the sun broke. In 1111 AD George and Neal invented a new, more efficient sun. That's why that period in history is known as the Dark Ages.

 

The Dark Ages: The Origin - When the old coal powered Sun started to peter out, George and Neal got on the job and brightened things up with our all new, efficient and clean, nuclear fusion powered Sun.

When the old coal powered Sun started to peter out, George and Neal got on the job and brightened things up with our all new, efficient and clean, nuclear fusion powered Sun.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1111(1) 480(1) astronomy(8) energy(6) historic events(18) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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It's Convenient: The Origin

Views: 406/5992
Added: 03/26/2009

In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our idea and is widely credited with inventing the convenience store. I guess it's our own fault though. We abandoned our stores in 718 AD leaving them in the care of the Saxons. How were we to know that Charlemagne would crush them nearly 100 years later? Oh yeah, never mind. Our bad. Anyway, Charlemagne ran the stores for a decade before dying and passing ownership on to his son Louis, who ran the stores into bankruptcy in just a few short decades.

Tags: 1927(3) 711(1) 718(1) business ventures(44) historic events(18) inventions(47) origin(24) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: 7-eleven(1) charlemagne(1) joe thompson(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Slap-Bracelets: The Origin

Views: 165/3502
Added: 03/26/2009

In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hundreds of criminals roamed free because of Neal and George's invention. In an effort to turn lemons into lemonade, George and Neal renamed them Slap-Bracelets, and made millions because junior high kids loved them (almost as much as the criminals).

Tags: 1990s(3) crimes & scams(16) failures(22) inventions(47) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Rudolph: The Origin

Views: 144/4932
Added: 04/12/2009

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose to swell up like a big red balloon. Ever the helpful friend, George took Neal back in time (circa 1938) to a special doctor that he heard could help - Dr. Robert L. May. Unfortunately, Dr. May had been down on his luck financially, and after assisting Neal, the good doctor decided to profit from the situation by writing the story, "Neal, the Red Nosed Ignoramus". Later drafts altered the story such that Neal was a Reindeer named Rudolph. The remainder of the story continued to be a surprisingly accurate account of what happened to Neal that year.

Tags: 1938(1) 2009(21) body parts(14) holidays(8) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: robert l. may(1) rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Pleasurebots: The Origin

Views: 227/6089
Added: 06/25/2009

2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to their wives during these long absences, George and Neal created "Pleasurebots" - robots that could *ahem* provide their wives with "tender services". George and Neal were extremely proud of the fact that the robots they created were just as competent lovers as they were. Julie and Clarissa were extremely depressed by this fact.

 

Pleasurebots: The Origin - The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

Photo by: Neal

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-Neal - Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Photo by: George

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-George - Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Photo by: George

Tags: 2011(8) clarissa(6) inventions(47) julie(5) origin(24) pleasurebot(3) robots(7) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (2), Neal (1)

 
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Joystick Etymology: The Origin

Views: 1732/2986
Added: 06/25/2009

In 1907 both George and Neal independently coined the term "joystick". George had a friend named Joy Buttnum who had a nervous tic that made her twitch her hand uncontrollably. Neal on the other hand enjoyed collecting small twigs and tree branches and also loved mechanical novelties. Upon seeing the "control lever" first appear in airplanes in the early 20th century both Neal and George agreed that the device should be called a "joystick". Neal because it combined his two greatest joys, sticks and gadgets, thus "joy-stick". George, on the other hand, saw the quick wrist jerks of the operators and was reminded of his friend Joy, thus "Joy's tic".

Tags: 1907(2) etymology(4) joystick(1) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin

Views: 173/4016
Added: 07/01/2009

In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak moment.) George, on the other hand, ordered hundreds of gallons of ice cream - that wasn't a mistake either - he just always wanted to swim in a pool of sherbet. When the bill came, the boys had to find a way to pay for their addictions. Hence, ice cream sandwiches were born. Of course, the original sandwich is different from those of today, which taste much less like George swam in the ice cream.

Tags: 1931(1) food(45) george funk(11) inventions(47) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin

Views: 148/5543
Added: 07/02/2009

In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook account. Chuck was fascinated and wanted to know more. So we left him an extra computer that we had lying around so he could try to build his own. It took a while, but he eventually designed his Difference Machine, Difference Machine No. 2, and Analytical Machine but got distracted by lolcats, failblog and youtube. It took nearly 150 years before his Difference Machine was actually built. Now that's some procrastination that George and Neal haven't even been able to match yet. On a side note, in 1861 Babbage showed photographer Henry Pointer some LOLcats, Henry showed his friend Harry Whittier Frees and a meme was born...

 

A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1821(1) 1902(2) cats(8) facebook(10) inspirations(19) inventions(47) origin(24) people of history(33) procrastination(5)
Names Mentioned: charles babbage(1) harry whittier frees(1) henry pointer(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Handlebar Mustache: The Origin

Views: 1251/3290
Added: 07/07/2009

In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew what handlebars were. The handlebar mustache was wildly popular, especially among military generals, guys who like twirling things absentmindedly, villains, and guys named Vern. Neal's invention of the unibrow was not quite as well received. Our collaboration on mutton chop sideburns was extremely popular, however, and we urge everyone to go out and get one.

 

Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!

Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1815(1) 1817(1) hair(11) inventions(47) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Bob Ross: The Origin

Views: 154/5796
Added: 07/10/2009

In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint. So thanks to Neal and George and one talented kitten there are millions of "happy little trees". Who says we don't love the environment...

 

Bob Ross: The Origin - For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.

For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) cats(8) celebrities(69) hair(11) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Recession: The Origin

Views: 419/3940
Added: 10/01/2009

In 2003, becoming increasingly paranoid that officials at the Pentagon were conspiring against him, George W. Bush asked that George and Neal create the Hexagon, a secret governmental branch whose sole purpose was only to monitor the Pentagon. Later, G.W. became paranoid that those at the Hexagon were also against his interests. G.W. then asked George and Neal to create the Octagon, to monitor the Hexagon. This pattern repeated itself for some time. After the commission of the Dodecahedron, funding problems became so evident that the program was scrapped. After leaving the economy in disrepair, G.W. was confident that the government no longer had the money to be of any threat to him, and happily left office to pursue his passion (engaging in heated "Connect the Dot" competitions).

Tags: 2003(3) economy(8) george w. bush(5) government(16) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: america(8) george w. bush(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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The 3 Stooges: The Origin

Views: 149/7781
Added: 08/28/2012

In 1933, Columbia's "3 Nice Regular Guys" premiered, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and George Jaros. The three produced 25 eight-to-twelve minute shorts, wherein the three gentlemen treated each other with utmost respect and kindness. Much of the shorts consisted of handshakes and compliments. The reviews and ratings were horrid. This led to a severe decrease in pay. Since it was George's suggestion that Moe and Larry leave promising jobs as orthodontists to pursue acting, the latter two developed a deep and secret hatred towards an unsuspecting George. One day, the pressure was too much, and they beat him within an inch of his life. The thrashing was unknowingly filmed, and proved so hilarious (many considering George's "not in the face, not in the face!" pleas their favorite moment) and popular that repeated showings sold out. Soon re-dubbed "The 3 Stooges" with the focus on gross body injuries resulting from idiotic behavior, Columbia had a hit. George, not being used to the constant beatings that most people in the 1930's had become accustomed to, could not continue on in the show. With no hard feelings, Larry and Moe agreed to hire George's great-great-great uncle, Curly Howard Jaros. The rest, as they say, was history. Until George and Neal decide to change it again.

 

The 3 Stooges: The Origin - "The 3 Gentlemen," just moments before George's pain brought happiness to so many.

"The 3 Gentlemen," just moments before George's pain brought happiness to so many.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1933(1) celebrities(69) origin(24) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: columbia pictures(1) curly howard(1) jerry horwitz(1) larry fine(1) louis feinberg(1) moe howard(1) moses horwitz(1) three stooges(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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A and E: The Origin

Views: 141/3794
Added: 10/22/2012

However, other times, George and Neal's time (mis)adventures really benefited world languages. For example, in 1232 Neal invented the letter A and George invented the letter E. Until that time A and E were sometimes replaced with I and U respectively (although they were omitted completely if found at the end of a word and one letter was omitted if they appeared next to another vowel). Thus, George and Neal were known as Gorg and Nil and this chronicle was known as "Th Grind Sig of Gorg und Nil's Idvunturus Through Tim und Spuc (und Pudding)!".

Tags: languages(11) nicknames(14) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin

Views: 543/12866
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, Issue 5 of Men's Wear magazine in January 1909 before Elbert Hubbard used in in Reader's Digest in October 1927 and Dale Carnegie made it famous when he published it as: "When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade." Rule #6, at the end of Chapter 17 in Carnegie's "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" published in 1948. George is very proud of the success of this phrase, despite the fact that is has been misquoted right from the beginning. What George actually said was "When fate gives you lemurs, you should try to make lemurade." Neal also tried to capitalize on George's phrase, but it turns out that people really don't like the whole idea of lemurade.

 

When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on.  At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on. At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1909(1) 1927(3) 1948(3) animals(16) blends(3) business ventures(44) etymology(4) first(3) in good company(6) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33) rhubarb(4) smoothies(7) spellcheck wants to change rambuten to perambulate(1) they stole our ideas(7) things neal eats(9)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) elbert hubbard(1) how to stop worrying and start living(1) men's wear magazine(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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