The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 2015, tired of hearing all about his father's "great adventures" with George, Adin decided to put a stop to it (and have some fun in the process). At first, he went back in time to 1996, causing George to befriend him instead of Neal. The resulting time shift caused "The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" to become "The Tremendous Story of George and Adin's Adventures Through Chronology and Cosmos (and Yogurt)!" You may remember this period (but probably don't), in which Adin and George created Bin-opoly, established Oybay, and Adin created the TV show, "The A-Word" (which fared only slightly better than Neal's show). In this timeline, Bette Midler showed little interest in George and Adin for some reason, causing most Georginealogists to believe her obsession was primarily with Neal. (Perhaps it was due to Neal's jaw-droppingly, achingly gorgeous rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings, often performed in a chicken suit, which for some reason did not detract from the performance. But I digress...)

Shortly after Adin "revised" the timeline (though shortly is relative; this timeline existed for thousands of years, looped back in on itself like a Moebius strip in 8034, and replayed itself twice more, until moments after Adin "revised" the timeline the third time), Sam, tired of hearing all about his father's "great adventures" with Adin, went back in time to 1996, causing Adin to befriend him instead of George. The resulting time shift caused "The Tremendous Story of George and Adin's Adventures Through Chronology and Cosmos (and Yogurt)!" to become "The Explosive Tale of Sam and Adin's Adventures Through The Chronosphere and Atmosphere (and Creamed Corn)!" This timeline saw such amazing events as Sam besting Martha Stewart in hand-to-hand combat, Adin and Sam ending worldwide tortoise hunger (meaning, they fed all the tortoises to hungry people), and fending off the 2054 robot invasion that Neal and George failed to prevent in previous timelines. It also saw Ayla and Mike refusing to let their siblings have all the fun. Many found "The Fantastic Account of Adin, Mike, Ayla, and Sam's Escapades Through The Eras and the Infinite (and Hollandaise Sauce)!" to be the golden age of all the timelines. [Editor's note: in this timeline, George Neal did not exist; however unlike other timelines, MASA replaced NASA in this timeline. It was not a space program but rather a cute bed and breakfast with the initials of all four children. Which they then turned into a rocket.]

 

In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their environment, George and Neal traveled to 1990 and created the rap/ska musical group Naughty by Nurture. Just as George and Neal
planned, when news of their band name reached rappers Treach, Vin Rock, and DJ Kay Gee (collectively known as Naughty by Nature), they interrupted George and Neal’s UnLive Aid show (a benefit concert devoted to androids, zombies, and android zombies) to fight them onstage. Fights also ensued among the audience, which consisted of an equal split of fans of both groups. George and Neal immediately felt bad about what happened, and further realized that human behavior is determined by BOTH genes AND environment. Therefore, the boys made up with Treach and company, forming the supergroup known as Naughty By Nature vs. Nurture.

The songs they released were unsurprisingly terrible, but the muffin recipes that they also released were delicious.

 

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a story about a child born as an old man who aged in reverse, wasn’t always a work of fiction. Originally, there were multiple cases of children born as old people who then aged in reverse. In 2068, George and Neal started the “Benjamin Button Disease: Walk or Sleep for the Cure” charity, dedicated to eradicating this horrible disease.

Given the overwhelming support generated by the charity, by 2071 they thankfully found a cure for BBD. George and Neal traveled back to 1859, secretly distributing the cure worldwide. Consequently, Benjamin Button and every other child thereafter led normal (or at least chronological) lives. Though they rarely discussed these events (preferring to keep their good deed anonymous), one cold night in 1921, George and Neal retold the tale to good friend Fabio Scott Fitzgerald who wrote the now famous short story about the (now fictional) illness.

 

Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not yet imagined and conquering those) George and Neal's traveled to 1990 to become world-renowned athletes.

Unfortunately, as neither George nor Neal possessed a modicum of athletic ability, they DID become world-renowned athletes... but not for the reasons they had hoped. Neal was the first baseball player to somehow break his pelvis when he hit himself in the face with a bat. George was banned from the world of golf, after tackling players repeatedly. He pretended he didn't know the rules. No one believed him.

Still, since at that time sports cards were a billion dollar industry, George and Neal managed to make a hefty sum releasing cards that reflected their most memorable moments of their short lived foray into sports.

Neal's daughter, Ayla, also threw her hat in the ring. Regrettably, it was a sumo ring.

Despite their great financial success, George and Neal considered erasing that timeline entirely. As they pondered the possibility, they were flooded with letters from children everywhere, thanking them. It turns out that George and Neal were inspirations - no child is embarrassed to try, and fail, at sports, since they could never do any worse than George and Neal. So yeah... George and Neal erased that timeline. The only evidence of this rare failure are some trading cards and a few very used jock straps. Aside: do not upset George or Neal, or they will mail you very used jock straps.

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