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Entries From Saturday, August 25, 2012


<< Aug 24, 2012  Aug 26, 2012 >>

6 Entries on This Page

 
View & Share:
Someday...

Views: 113/1884
Added: 08/25/2012

The current world-record for an individual procrastinating on a project is 78 years, 8 months, 4 days, 16 hours, 12 minutes, and 31 seconds. George and Neal would like to someday beat that record, but they haven't gotten around to it yet.

Tags: procrastination(5) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Aracauna Flu

Views: 142/6606
Added: 08/25/2012

In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to catch the traumatic, but nonfatal disease. The symptoms of Aracauna Flu are much more uncomfortable than any previous flu strain, but luckily they rarely prove to be fatal. Symptoms start with a mild fever and nausea, followed by a sharp cough. Soon after the cough starts, victims will notice soft flaky growths beginning to cover the skin. Over the course of 48-72 hours the cough begins to sound more like a cluck and the flaky growths become more feather-like. At the height of the illness the afflicted will very closely resemble the Aracauna chicken, complete with sideburn like tufts of feathery growths (we suspect this may have something to do with our invention of muttonchop sideburns, but that theory is unproven). Luckily the whole affliction goes away suddenly when the patient wakes up one morning surrounded by a pile of feathers and with a morbid desire for an omelet. The only known fatalities of Aracauna Flu were the result of infected people getting too close to foxes or a Kenny Rodger's Roasters (so if you are afflicted, please stay out of the Philippines and Malaysia).

 

Aracauna Flu - It's a good thing we didn't run into Kenny Rogers. I mean, c'mon, look at those juicy breasts!

It's a good thing we didn't run into Kenny Rogers. I mean, c'mon, look at those juicy breasts!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2068(3) celebrities(69) chicken(2) diseases(9)
Names Mentioned: kenny rodger(1) kenny rodger roasters(1) malaysia(1) phillippines(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Nealocrats and Georgicans

Views: 193/2588
Added: 08/25/2012

In 2034, as a result of their love of George and Neal, America did away with their bipartisan political landscape, replacing it with a more unified governmental system known as Neorgitarians. But by 2035, the unification was no more - the group had splintered into two distinct and separate groups, Nealocrats and Georgicans. Nealocrats were considered intelligent, rational, and well-spoken; however, they constantly inappropriately dressed for most occasions.

 

Nealocrats and Georgicans - Above: A Nealocrat attending a somber funeral. Most assuredly, this did not put the "fun" back in "funeral." It did, however, put the "uncomfortable" back in "uncomfortabuneral".

Above: A Nealocrat attending a somber funeral. Most assuredly, this did not put the "fun" back in "funeral." It did, however, put the "uncomfortable" back in "uncomfortabuneral".

Photo by: Neal

Georgicans were widely considered insane, but known to have excellent table manners.

Tags: 2034(2) 2035(2) government(16) politics(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
Pluto's back, and it's pissed...

Views: 248/2456
Added: 08/25/2012

Starting in 2115 George and Neal started sending weekly weight gain supplements and steroids to the Dwarf Planet Pluto. By 2194 Pluto had gained enough mass to achieve orbital dominance, thus re-establishing it in its rightful place as the 9th Planet of the solar system. Unfortunately Pluto's not quite so polite method of clearing its orbit, and the eventual battery of its moon Charon resulted in the rest of the Solar System's objects holding an intervention and ultimately sending Pluto to a rehab facility. In 2238 Pluto returned to the Solar System clean and friendly, though substantially less massive. Pluto was able to remain docile and still retain enough mass to keep its status as a full fledged planet through a healthy regimen of diet and exercise.

 

Pluto's back, and it's pissed... - It was hard to see since the sun was so far away, but we're pretty sure Pluto had a red neck.

It was hard to see since the sun was so far away, but we're pretty sure Pluto had a red neck.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2115(2) 2194(1) 2238(1) astronomy(8) kicking ass(16) rehab(3)
Names Mentioned: charon(1) pluto(1) solar system(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Nanas & Tiaras

Views: 184/2591
Added: 08/25/2012

Sickened by the inappropriate nature of the popular show "Toddlers & Tiaras", in 2018 George and Neal created a much more family-friendly rival show, "Nanas & Tiaras".

 

Nanas & Tiaras - CBS dubbed it their "hottest program of the summer". Unfortunately for the viewing public, it was a very accurate statement.

CBS dubbed it their "hottest program of the summer". Unfortunately for the viewing public, it was a very accurate statement.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2018(4) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: toddlers & tiaras(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
Hungry Eyes

Views: 207/9695
Added: 08/25/2012

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

 

Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(40) music(26) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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