6 Entries on This Page
In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, who religiously checks these updates for some reason. Damn you, Midler!
Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!
Photo by: George
George and Neal are the Illuminati and the New World Order. We lead the Bilderberg Group and organize the annual Bilderberg Conference. Our headquarters are underneath the Denver International Airport. We also founded the Committee of 300, the Freemasons, Skull & Bones, The Stonecutters, and the Shriners (what can we say, we like little cars).
This was taken moments before Neal went on his road rage rampage and ended up getting pulled over for doing 7mph in a 5mph construction zone. George mooned him as he drove by laughing.
Photo by: George
In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was going strong and thought he was going to break the record when his jaw cramped up on day 210. Neal, being the supportive friend that he is, decided to take over and chewed that piece of gum for another 205 days. Just two days shy of the record Neal got hit in the face with an outboard motor (don't ask) and lost all his teeth, making it very difficult to continue chewing. Not wanting to fail when so close to their goal, George again took over with the chewing (although now the gum was a bit crunchy due to the bits of Neal's teeth embedded in the gooey wad). After another 112 days of chewing George and Neal were ecstatic to think they broke the world record for the longest time for consecutively chewing a piece of gum by an amazing 110 days! It was only later that they discovered the record only counted for a single person consecutively chewing gum. However, they did earn the world record for consecutive days of being thoroughly disgusting (57,229 days and counting).
This snapshot was taken during one of the several days that we shared chewing responsibilities.
Photo by: George
The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.
On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure them into her trap (truthfully they suspected a trap all along, but thought it was for Garfield and wanted that lasagna before the fat cat arrived). For over 20 months the fearless explorers were trapped in stasis pods and subjected to Midler's mind probes. Finally, on December 31, 2015 George and Neal were heroically rescued by their future selves (from all the way on January 1, 2016). And once again, all was right in the world. Celebration and parties ensued throughout the galaxy until the stroke of midnight (Central Standard Time) when George and Neal actually became their future selves and had to leave the party early to go rescue themselves. I'd explain further, but it just gets more confusing. Hey look, a lasagna!
Luckily George and Neal were rescued by George and Neal before their fate was the same as the poor saps in the other stasis pods. Neal wasn't frightened by that though, it was Bette's prancing that worried him.
Photo by: George
Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time machine (which explains why many of his movies are so historically accurate), and he used it to once again tip the election in his favor. Civic duty demanded George and Neal change the timeline back. However, Mel then went back in time to alter the timeline so he won the election again. This back and forth went on seven hundred more times. The good news was that George and Neal averted a timeline where Mel Gibson was president. However, the bad news was that due to the constant tearing of the timeline fabric, for a period of time our president was Lindsey Lohan, then Megatron from Transformers, then a zombie Richard Nixon (his platform was "braaaaainnns!"), then an inanimate hat (its platform, oddly enough, was also "braaaaainnns!") and finally, Donald Trump. They kept trying to fix the timeline after that point, but nothing could be altered. Well, other than the fact that now Trump and Hillary Clinton are now secret, passionate lovers.
George and Neal felt really bad about messing up so badly (it being the first time they ever made a mistake), but this didn't stop them from capitalizing on the situation and writing a torrid romance novel about Trump and Clinton's love affair.
"This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"
Photo by: Neal
Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.
Photo by: Neal
NY Times called the book, "Painfully detailed."
Hillary wrote the foreword, which read only: "Damn you both."
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- Photos by: Neal
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.