The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Peaches and CREAM!

Views: 208/1973
Added: 02/10/2009

Years later, Neal and George had limited success as the Rollerderby team, "Peaches and CREAM!"

 

Peaches and CREAM! - They were sensational!

They were sensational!

Photo by: George

Tags: rollerderby(1) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Synchronized Swimming

Views: 169/4248
Added: 02/13/2009

Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized swimming. George won, and thanks to Neal's speedo, everyone else lost.

 

Synchronized Swimming - This cannot end well.

This cannot end well.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: competition(10) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: karate kid(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago

Views: 204/3540
Added: 02/21/2009

In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, but in a parallel universe it was completed in August 2000). They have yet to land, in either timeline.

 

7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - The thermals over downtown Chicago are impressive, especially the hot air over City Hall and Daley Plaza.

The thermals over downtown Chicago are impressive, especially the hot air over City Hall and Daley Plaza.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2000(7) 2001(8) amazing abilities(16) chicago(10) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: 7 south dearborn tower(2) chicago(14) daley plaza(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Super Bowl: The Origin

Views: 195/3368
Added: 03/05/2009

In 1967 George and Neal shared the MVP award at the World Championship football game. When they were interviewed about their success, they were asked how they felt about their accomplishments and what their plans for the future were. Their response: "That was Super! [high five] Let's go bowling! [Another high five]" George and Neal then left and bowled 12 consecutive 300 games. However, when their interview was later printed in Sports Illustrated, they were misquoted as saying "That was a Super Bowl!". The name of the event stuck and ever since the World Championship of football has been known as the Super Bowl. Nobody cares about the 1440 consecutive pins they knocked down during their celebratory bowling spree.

Tags: 1967(3) awards and recognition(12) origin(24) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: sports illustrated(2) super bowl(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Oh God I Shot Momma

Views: 839/4438
Added: 03/18/2009

In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that same year Neal was beaten by Albert Einstein at both chess and wrestling - at the same time. That guy was wicked tough.

 

Oh God I Shot Momma - This was one dude you didn't want to mess with. He'd pin you so fast that you'd age a little bit more than him.

This was one dude you didn't want to mess with. He'd pin you so fast that you'd age a little bit more than him.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1949(2) einstein(3) games(15) people of history(33) sports(23) theater(8)
Names Mentioned: albert einstein(3) Broadway(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Love Aid Rings

Views: 200/4150
Added: 03/27/2009

In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt was of average proportion and size. People were not ready for such a product back in the 50's. That's okay, because they made a fortune after connecting the two ends to form a large hoop and re-marketing the product as the "hula hoop".

 

Love Aid Rings - Neal's "Love Aid Rings" got much more use, and brought joy to many more people in their modified "Hula Hoop" form. These women were much less excited when they tried these out as "Love Aid Rings".

Neal's "Love Aid Rings" got much more use, and brought joy to many more people in their modified "Hula Hoop" form. These women were much less excited when they tried these out as "Love Aid Rings".

Photo by: George

Tags: 1950s(2) 1951(1) body parts(14) inventions(48) phallus(8) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Feats of Strength!™

Views: 195/5276
Added: 03/29/2009

In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using his secret muscle enhancing device created, conveniently enough, by Neal and George years earlier, which was actually 1983 thanks to the time machine - don't think too hard about this, it might hurt your head). Not to be outdone, Neal lifted a cow and a boulder (he did not use the muscle enhancer; he's just that awesome). In disgust, George threw a boulder at Neal's head. Neal retaliated by throwing a series of rocks at George. This went back and forth for hours. After Neal and George called a truce - and after the townsfolk ran off in fear of being clocked in the noggin by a large rock - they rested on the piles of rocks they created, now called Stonehenge. Yeah, it happened just like that.

Tags: .2000 bce(1) 1983(6) amazing abilities(16) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) britain(9) competition(10) prehistoric(6) sports(23) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) stonehenge(1) wiltshire(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Play With George's Balls!

Views: 224/5202
Added: 05/18/2009

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

 

Divorce Court Hero - Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1985(4) 2013(7) business ventures(44) games(15) lawsuits(13) peanuts(6) sports(23) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: guitar hero(1) nintendo(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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You're spelling it wrong!

Views: 165/2366
Added: 06/04/2009

George and Neal know that, among friends, Brett actually spells his name like it's pronounced: FARVE.

Tags: friends mentioned(4) sports(23) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: brett favre(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Ten Cent Beer Night

Views: 193/3016
Added: 06/05/2009

On June 4th, 1974 George and Neal organized the first (and last) ever Ten Cent Beer Night at the Cleveland Municipal Stadium. The event was both a raging success and huge failure depending on your point of view. While increasing the attendance three-fold, it also resulted in a mass drunken riot. Seriously, we don't make this stuff up, check for yourself:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ten_Cent_Beer_Night

Tags: 1974(6) historic events(18) oops(16) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: cleveland(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Team Ghandi

Views: 167/4751
Added: 06/29/2009

In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team never won a single game, as instead of hitting the ball, the players tried to reason with it through non-violent means. After George and Neal lost over ten million dollars on the venture, they went back in time and prevented themselves from ever investing in such a project ever again.

 

Team Ghandi - We requested "G"'s on our jerseys... but it wasn't worth the fight.

We requested "G"'s on our jerseys... but it wasn't worth the fight.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1972(3) chicago(10) failures(22) people of history(33) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) ghandi(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Chicago Cubs in the World Series! (Psyche!)

Views: 143/3159
Added: 08/08/2009

In 2412, 467 years after their last World Series appearance, the Chicago Cubs looked likely to finally break their Billy Goat Curse, however, in true Cubs tradition they were swept in the first four games of the Intergalactic Worlds Series by the Solar Quadrant-0xBA5EBA11 Red Giants. George and Neal haven't come across any other instances of the Cubs winning, or even making the World Series (or its equivalent) in all of our travels through time and even through alternate realities.

 

Chicago Cubs in the World Series!  (Psyche!) - A Cubs fan mourning the 2412 loss in game 4 of the Intergalactic Worlds Series. 19 - 0 isn't so bad, is it?

A Cubs fan mourning the 2412 loss in game 4 of the Intergalactic Worlds Series. 19 - 0 isn't so bad, is it?

Photo by: George

UPDATE: We found an alternate reality where, in 2016 the Cubs won the World Series! If you live in this reality we’re really sorry, because the price you have to pay is that Donald Trump will become president of the United States. I guess the Universe really does have a sense of humor.

Tags: 2412(1) astronomy(8) chicago(10) cubs(2) robots(7) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago cubs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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International Infant Sporting League

Views: 180/6615
Added: 08/11/2009

In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this baby making was a new sport, which took America by storm. By 2015 it will be the second largest organized professional sport (right behind curling - yeah, it takes off next summer), enjoyed by millions of fans around the world. The Extreme Mobile Watching League, more commonly known as ExMo, spawned a whole family of spin-off sports, like Competition Crawling and the annual Spit-up Spectacular. In 2016 the IISL (International Infant Sporting League) was formed to encompass ExMo and related competitions.

 

International Infant Sporting League - Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.

Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2009(21) 2015(9) 2016(8) clarissa(6) genetics(16) offspring(13) organizations(15) sports(23) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: elmo(3) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Get To Da Choppa!

Views: 144/8450
Added: 08/13/2009

In 2020 George and Neal produced a very special episode of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator". It was a great success and they captured a lion, three grizzly bears, a pair of jaguars, three red-tailed hawks, six rattlesnakes, one mongoose, a vast assortment of spiders, a man-o-war jellyfish, a tyrannosaurus rex, two alligators, a couple of venus flytraps, and one big dude with glow-in-the-dark blood, awesome mandibles, greenish skin, rad dreads, and some pretty cool weapons. We've been asked back to do a follow up special where we'll attempt to catch the elusive Nashville Predators.

 

Get To Da Choppa! - Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

Chris Hansen with our catch of the day. Let me tell you, this guy was not happy. He kept muttering about how he was only after the queen. Later we had to call an exterminator to clean up an infestation of Internecivus raptus, but since this was To Catch A Predator and not To Catch A Parasite, those clips didn't air.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2020(2) celebrities(69) movies(40) sports(23) success!(13) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) arnold schwarzenegger(1) chris hansen(1) dateline(2) nashville predators(1) predator(1) to catch a predator(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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1945, Tigers/Cubs, Game 4 of the World Series

Views: 212/9668
Added: 08/15/2009

In 1945, George and Neal decided to go to a Tigers/Cubs game - fatefully, it was Game 4 of the World Series. During the game, George complained of a strange odor. After a few innings, George became so upset by the noxious smell, he complained to P.K. Wrigley, who located a nearby patron who was attending the game with his billy goat. After asking the patron (Billy Goat Tavern owner Billy Sianis) to leave because his pet goat's odor was bothering other fans, Sianis became outraged and declared, "Them Cubs, they aren't gonna win no more," which has been interpreted to mean that there would never be another World Series game played at Wrigley Field. It has also been said by many that Sianis put a "curse" on the Cubs; if so, it was incredibly effective as the Cubs have not won a single World Series since then. (Later that evening, George located the odor, and it wasn't the goat. It was Neal. Whoops.)

While we're on the topic of the Cubs, George and Neal felt so badly for having caused a curse that led to the downfall of the Cubs Dynasty, they vowed to do all that they could to break the curse (ok, they didn't feel too bad, but the Cubs were the only baseball team they could afford to try out their awesome plan). That's why in 2020, George and Neal populated the entire Cubs team with many versions of themselves taken from different timelines. The Neals and Georges trained for many months, to get in peak physical condition. Given George and Neal's skills (including their self-professed and much doubted sexual prowess), the people of Chicago, nay, the world, were filled with hope and excitement. People also thought Waterworld and the Postman would be good movies. People are idiots. George and Neal's first game resulted in the injuries of numerous Georges and Neals, and a score of 75-1. (They got one run during the inning that the pitcher kept beaming them in the head for fun.) Consequently, that was the first and last game George and Neal ever played as Cubs. The next day the owners (who happened to be the real Neal and George for that time) fired all the other Neals and Georges and rehired all the original players. Interestingly enough, that devastating loss was not the Cubs' worst defeat. They lost by bigger margins three more times that season despite Neal and George no longer playing. Chalk it up to bad managing (the George and Neal managers were fired at the end of the season).

 

Even We Couldn't Help the Cubs - Above: the most handsome baseball team ever. They were known as the "Lovable, handsome, amazingly bodacious losers."

Above: the most handsome baseball team ever. They were known as the "Lovable, handsome, amazingly bodacious losers."

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1945(2) 2020(2) chicago(10) cubs(2) failures(22) george's fashion sense(12) historic events(18) neal funk(18) neal's fashion sense(20) oops(16) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: billy goat tavern(1) billy sianis(1) chicago(14) chicago cubs(2) detroit tigers(1) p k wrigley(1) the postman(1) waterworld(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Olympic Snowball

Views: 702/6967
Added: 08/09/2010

In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with the event (mainly because the IOC refused to acknowledge it and there were no other competitors in 2022 and only Ghana in 2026). Unfortunately by 2041 global warming had progressed to the point where holding Winter Olympics was pretty pointless (the 2040 Olympics were mainly a soggy, slushy mess), so 2044 marked the first ever Spring Olympics (since Winter as a season no longer existed anywhere on Earth except Detroit for some reason, but no one wanted to travel there). Instead of Bobsled there was the Mudslide, Speed Skating became Liquid Mountaineering (look it up), and Snowball Fights became The Mud Sling. Throwing mud rekindled George and Neal's interest in the Olympics (they quickly realized in 2023 that snowball fights were a bit immature) and George and Neal promptly joined the 2048 US Olympic Mud Slinging Team where they led the team to 18 consecutive Olympic Mud Slinging Gold Medals (including 48 of the 51 World Mudslinging Championships in non-Olympic years - The Republican and Democratic parties won the other three years).

 

Olympic Snowball - Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.

Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.

Photo by: George

 

Lose the loincloth please... - Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...

Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...

Photo by: George

Tags: 2022(4) 2023(2) 2026(2) 2040(4) 2041(2) 2044(1) 2056(2) awards and recognition(12) christian(8) neal's fashion sense(20) politics(9) sports(23) things neal eats(9) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) china(3) democratic party(1) ghana(1) olympics(3) republican party(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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Cheese Eatin' Bears

Views: 161/4790
Added: 01/19/2011

In 1919 George and Neal started raising a sleuth of bears that would eat only cheese. For quite a while this was pretty useless, but it came in very handy in 2011 when the Chicago Bears met the Green Bay Packers for the NFC championship.

 

Cheese Eatin'  Bears - One of George and Neal's cheese eating bears preparing to devour its catch of the day. These bears live in Illinois, but forage for food north of the border.

One of George and Neal's cheese eating bears preparing to devour its catch of the day. These bears live in Illinois, but forage for food north of the border.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1919(1) 2011(8) animals(16) chicago(10) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) chicago bears(1) green bay packers(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Studio Carrum Ccohortis

Views: 222/3346
Added: 01/24/2011

After extensive research for 23 years, George and Neal released the results of their Studio Carrum Ccohortis project. They discovered a very complex formula for determining the winners of any given sporting event. Careful comparison between two teams and their fans can show which team will actually win any given sporting event. Taken into consideration is such data as how many fans watch or attend an event when they normally wouldn't, how many fans are absent from events they would normally attend, how many fans wear apparel supporting their team when they normally wouldn't, how many fans' lucky garments are unable to be worn, who shaved or didn't shave their beard or legs, etc. All of this information gets compiled and the results for two competing teams are compared to predict which team will win the event. Their current algorithm is 98.458% correct and being improved all the time. So the next time someone says it's your fault their team lost because you had to go and watch the game, they were probably right.

Tags: oops(16) science(28) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Welcome aboard Sam!

Views: 190/14029
Added: 09/09/2012

In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (because the cost of pottery classes was cheaper back then). Sam proved to be an incredible talent and made some very life-like works out of clay. His finest moment came when he sculpted a very realistic baby duckling!

 

Welcome aboard Sam! - When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

Photo by: George

George's other son, Mike, entered the 2012 Olympics and took 1st place in the 100 meter dash, beating Usain Bolt by two whole strides! George was very proud that the boys got their looks from their mom, but inherited his ability to amaze.

 

Welcome aboard Mike! - And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!

And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) art is art(10) celebrities(69) offspring(13) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: olympics(3) usain bolt(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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Family Week

Views: 150/11605
Added: 09/24/2012

In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his family. On September 3rd he showed the boys how to distort spacial dimensions to grow and shrink at will. On the 8th they learned about monarch butterflies and how Neal taught them to fly from Canada to Mexico. And on September 9th George and his boys had fun flying hipsters in the park. It was a fun filled week!

 

Family Week - Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.

Sam had been wishing to be bigger for a long time. Now, with his new knowledge on dimensional disruption it's only a matter of time before he decides to crush Tokyo.

Photo by: George

 

Hipster Flying - Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.

Unfortunately, a few minutes after this picture was taken the wind let up and those hipsters made a pretty ironic splat.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2012(14) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) science(28) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) mexico(2) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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Luckily for cats, this was a very short period.

Views: 152/5375
Added: 02/11/2013

During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see www.george-and-neal-are-not-awesome.info), they invented Cat Baseball. It... did not end well.

 

Luckily for cats, this was a very short period. - Gerbil Football proved much more popular.

Gerbil Football proved much more popular.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: baseball(1) cats(8) cute(2) failures(22) sports(23) websites(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Kick-Ball Ball-Kick

Views: 204/3529
Added: 02/20/2013

Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created the first kickball that could kick back. Although the game became much more challenging, it also became infinitely more enjoyable to watch.

 

Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - (The above image, "Kick-Ball Ball-Kick" courtesy of The Museum of Entirely Random Things, where their motto is, "Come for the pie, stay for the tire-irons.")

(The above image, "Kick-Ball Ball-Kick" courtesy of The Museum of Entirely Random Things, where their motto is, "Come for the pie, stay for the tire-irons.")

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1973(2) groin kick(3) inventions(48) kickball(1) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Damnation that was Smurfs

Views: 219/7401
Added: 02/20/2013

In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so those scientists were George and Neal. What can we say, we loved the Smurfs. Unfortunately these obnoxious blue critters bred incredibly fast, considering there was only one female. The blue varmints were quickly shipped off to a remote island in the mid-Atlantic Ocean where they quickly covered the land several feet deep. A year later Neal and George were visiting the island to see how the blue pests were coping when they were viciously attacked. Luckily Neal always carries a collapsible surfboard in his front pocket (no, he's not just happy to see you). He quickly whipped it out (the surfboard you pervert) and George and Neal were able to ride a wave of blue scourge back to safety. This event was recorded and broadcast on the 6:00 news worldwide. The few people who still watched TV for their news in 2100 were amazed and the idea became the newest extreme sport. The contaminated island became a hot spot of tourist activity while thrill seekers would ride wave after wave of the blue plague. By 2148 Smurfing was an Olympic sport, attracting thousands of spectators. That is, until the blue blight evolved teeth and ate the entire 2164 Italian Women's Olympic Team. 2165's Operation Gargamel was ironically a success and wiped the Earth clean of the blue contamination. On a side note, we don't like the Smurfs any more.

 

The Damnation that was Smurfs - Until these fiends evolved teeth, wiping out tickled quite a bit and was somewhat enjoyable, in an uncomfortable sort of way, which is exactly how Neal likes to be tickled.

Until these fiends evolved teeth, wiping out tickled quite a bit and was somewhat enjoyable, in an uncomfortable sort of way, which is exactly how Neal likes to be tickled.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2099(1) 2100(1) 2148(1) 2165(1) diseases(9) genetics(16) organizations(15) smurfs(2) sports(23) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: atlantic ocean(2) earth(3) gargamel(2) olympics(3) smurfs(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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