The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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It was widely thought that Robert Cornelius took the very first self-portrait (or "selfie") in 1839. However, the truth is, not surprisingly, much more complicated than that. When Robert's friend, Herman "Twitchy" Aaron saw the selfie, he became insanely jealous that he, himself, did not do the first selfie. Believing that someone would eventually create a time machine (perhaps out of a blender), Herman put a clause in his will that if ever someone went back in time and assisted him with the first selfie ever, he would pay them a handsome sum. Two hundred years later, give or take a decade, Neal learned of this, and went back in time, creating the very first selfie with Herman in 1838.

Upon hearing of this, George was very disappointed with Neal for using the time machine for financial gain. But, rather than correcting the situation, George decided to create the world's first photo bomb.

 

After Neal claimed to be in the first "selfie", George decided to both photobomb that "selfie" and then one-up Neal (because that's what he does). So in 1433 George joined the Early Netherlandish master Jan van Eyck in painting "Portrait of Two Men (Selfie?)". The painting is widely regarded as the first ever western panel self portrait, or "selfie".

Not to be undone (because that's what he does), Neal went all the way back to 1365 BCE where he managed to get Egyptian pharaoh Akhenaten's chief sculptor Bak to include him in the first ever self portrait. Of course he had to pose as Bak's wife, and of course, George had to photobomb (sulpturebomb?) Neal's accomplishment (because that's what he does).

After going back further and further, appearing in ancient paintings, sculptures, and cave drawings George and Neal decided they were just being silly. They had a time machine, why not share in the accomplishment of being in the first ever selfie. So they travelled back to 72,443,018 BCE and took a selfie together. And of course they were photobombed by a few dinosaurs (because that's what they do).

 

In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.

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