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Fun With Genetics

Entry Logged on: May 27, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)
Page Views: 528 - Times Displayed: 9407

Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted like chicken. Unfortunately, this backfired, and now nearly all chickens found in the Midwest taste like fish. Undeterred, George and Neal found themselves immersed in the complicated world of genetics. Despite a plethora of cease-and-desist orders from the most prominent scientific communities, George created the first gir-rilla (pronounced Jer-rilla):

 

Fun With Genetics - Nature just threw up a little in its mouth.

Nature just threw up a little in its mouth.

Photo by: Neal

Not to be outdone, Neal created the world's first Dat, which won 2nd prize at the Westminster Freakshow:

 

Westminster Freakshow - This is where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.

This is where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.

Photo by: Neal

Between 2000-2004, Neal and George fervently created more and more hybrid animals, the likes of which this world has never seen (including the Zebruck, the pengagroo, and the hipponaucerous, a personal favorite). However, George and Neal ceased entirely working in the realm of genetics when a bearpotomus and an ostrephant had a mutant baby so terrifying, so disgusting, that it cannot be adequately described. Here's a picture:

 

Bearpotomus X Ostrephant - No wait. HERE'S where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.

No wait. HERE'S where we jumped the shark, genetically speaking.

Photo by: Neal

After this abomination was spewn forth, George and Neal decided to call it a day, and destroyed each and every hybrid creature they created.

....Well, except for the platypus. We love that little guy.

Tags: 2000(7) cats(8) celebrities(69) genetics(16) mashups(12) oops(16) platypus(4) science(28)
Names Mentioned: rush limbaugh(1) westminster dog show(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: rush limbaugh(1), westminster dog show(1)

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  • 2000 - (6 Other Entries)
    • Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
    • Worst... Enya... Ever... - George was the fifth Beatle. However, due to a problem with the time machine, he had to forsake this role, give up fame and fortune and return to his ...
    • 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago - In 2001 George and Neal went hang gliding from the top of the 7 South Dearborn Tower in Chicago (yes, we know it was never built... in this timeline, ...
    • Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
    • Oh Wilson, Wherefore Art Thou Wilson - Unbeknownst to many, and typical for a Hollywood film, 2000s blockbuster hit Cast Away, starring Tom Hanks, was nowhere near as good as the Broadway m...
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  • cats - (7 Other Entries)
    • Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - ...
    • A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook a...
    • Luckily for cats, this was a very short period. - During the brief period where George and Neal were not awesome (see www.george-and-neal-are-not-awesome.info), they invented Cat Baseball. It... did ...
    • Allergic to Peanuts - In 1950 George created a comic strip about a short bald kid that everyone picked on. The strip competed closely with another very similar comic strip ...
    • Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
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  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • That Crazy Bette - On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure th...
    • Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
    • Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
    • Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
    • Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll - During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson com...
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  • genetics - (15 Other Entries)
    • The Flying Porcupine (and not the Short S.25 Sunderland) - In 1921 George and Neal began the daunting task of teaching porcupines to fly. It was long, arduous, painful work, and after twelve long years they g...
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
    • Sciuridaetopia Invades - In 2014 the United States was overrun by a large number of giant squirrels. Apparently our neighbor, Sciuridaetopia had been conducting top secret gen...
    • The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
    • The Lazy X - In 1987, while working on their little known chromosome research project, George and Neal discovered that the Y chromosome was merely a "lazy X" chrom...
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  • mashups - (11 Other Entries)
    • Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
    • EastKippur - In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel iron...
    • Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
    • Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
    • Horton Hears A Gremlin - In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth...
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  • oops - (15 Other Entries)
    • Lavender, Lavender Everywhere - In 2013, Neal and George totally negated existence as a result of a time paradox created by the two. In 2015, Neal and George totally fixed the proble...
    • No Photoshopping Allowed - In 2041, someone had the gall to accuse George and Neal of photoshopping images of their great accomplishments. George and Neal quickly provided hundr...
    • World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum - In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was g...
    • Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - 680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmind...
    • No means... - You know the saying "No means no", well, in 1929 a glitch in George and Neal's teleportation device actually caused a rift in the definition continuum...
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  • platypus - (3 Other Entries)
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Cow Experimentation - In 1984, during George and Neal's famous Cow Experimentation period (it's not what it sounds like), they successfully bred cows with extremely high in...
    • 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
  • science - (27 Other Entries)
    • Going all Einstein on your mouth... - In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakt...
    • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
    • George Spores - In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believ...
    • ...and over and over and over... - In 2036 George and Neal started one of the most aggressive research studies into ESP and telepathy (prophecy wasn't included since we already had our ...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Show All...
View All Tags

Other Posts:

  • Aracauna Flu - In 2068 George and Neal accidentally engineered a new strain of the flu virus, called Aracauna Flu, and then subsequently became the first people to c...
  • Now THAT's a Timeline! - For many years, the makers of the card game Timeline sought to create a “George and Neal”-centric game. However, given the convoluted and ever-changi...
  • P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
  • Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin - In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak mome...
  • The Secret Society of ¤ - In 1956 George and Neal founded a super-duper-triple-secret organization. I can't tell you the name of the society or I would have to kill you, but I ...


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