The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


Home - First Post - Part: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Newest Entries - Popular Entries - View Tags - Free Ebooks - Entry Timeline - Email Signup - Featured - Favorites
Our Facebook Feed -


'business ventures' Tagged Entries

View All Tags

44 Entries on This Page

44 Tagged Entries  
View & Share:
In the Beginning... AKA: The Origin

Views: 442/3114
Added: 02/09/2009

Neal met George workin' on the farm. George always promised Neal he'd see the rabbits.

After a falling out, they met years later on a city bus. Wait, did I say bus? I meant brothel.

Tags: brothel(2) business ventures(44) origin(24) rabbits(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Tooth-whitening Toothpaste

Views: 208/3516
Added: 02/12/2009

George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "paste" was merely the inside of a Twinkie®, sales plummeted, except in Europe.

Tags: 1980s(7) business ventures(44) europe(4) failures(22) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: twinkies(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic

Views: 416/4572
Added: 02/13/2009

In 2005, George and Neal founded the "We Help You Help Yourself - Self Help Clinic". It is unknown at this time whether the Clinic was a whopping success or an utter failure, as George and Neal never unlocked the doors to the clinic, assuming those who needed the help would find it themselves.

Tags: business ventures(44) failures(22)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Cold Fusion

Views: 211/5343
Added: 02/13/2009

In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't realize the implications of their discovery since they were only trying to develop a more efficient way to dispose of dog waste. It wasn't until 2115 that technology caught up to their misguided genius.

Tags: 2035(2) 2115(2) business ventures(44) energy(6) inventions(48) poop(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch

Views: 239/3596
Added: 02/15/2009

In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opposite the Grand Mosque Accra, Ghana. He needed help with collecting over $15 million from an account and we suggested he contact someone in America to help with the transaction. To our knowledge he, and his associates, have contacted millions of Americans, some of whom have helped with their various business dealings to great success. George and Neal are proud of their role in helping stimulate the global economy in such a benevolent way.

Tags: 2000(7) africa(3) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) economy(8)
Names Mentioned: africa(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Hollywood DermaFleck

Views: 149/5765
Added: 02/26/2009

In 1967, George and Neal traveled to Hollywood, to start their business, "Skin Flakes of the Stars". They sold exactly what you think. People reacted exactly how you think. Surprisingly, years later they restarted the business but marketed the product as a high-protein, body sculpting, smoothie supplement called "Hollywood DermaFleck", and the company's success skyrocketed. You can buy a tub of it at your local GNC, Vitamin World, or Jiffy Lube.

Tags: 1967(3) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) smoothies(7)
Names Mentioned: gnc(1) hollywood(3) jiffy lube(1) vitamin world(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Damn you, Midler!

Views: 193/7870
Added: 03/02/2009

In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, who religiously checks these updates for some reason. Damn you, Midler!

 

Damn you, Midler! - Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) bette midler(4) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) economy(8) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
In Great Shape

Views: 145/4615
Added: 03/17/2009

In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods and get into great shape at the same time. The program was advertised extensively under a variety of names and titles and we are happy to report that today the Neal and George Diet Program is the most successful program in the country. Nearly everyone in America participates in the program and there are millions of branches across the country. The success of our program is even global with various franchises in just about every country in the world. In economically developed countries it is possible to even see our program in action in 10 or 12 locations simultaneously. Our program has evolved and developed into varieties that fit just about every lifestyle and situation. In fact, we're willing to be that you've participated in our program at least once in the last month, possibly even today. The program goes by several names, but the most common name used in popular culture is the Fast Food program. What? We never specified what shape you'd be in. Round is a shape! And we happen to think it's a great shape.

Tags: 1902(2) 1950s(2) 1960s(3) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) food(45) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: america(8)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Mmmmmmm... George Juice!

Views: 247/5760
Added: 03/20/2009

For unexplained reasons, George loves to bathe in Worcestershire sauce (which Dictionary.com defines as a "savory sauce of vinegar, soy sauce and spices"). In 2004, George bottled and sold the bathsauce under the moniker "George Juice". Its sales are considerable, and some believe it has medicinal uses. This is not to be confused with "Neal Juice", which you don't want to know the ingredients of.

 

Mmmmmmm...  George Juice! - George Juice - It's tragically delicious.At least in theory. We've never actually tried it, but it sells like hotcakes!

George Juice - It's tragically delicious.

At least in theory. We've never actually tried it, but it sells like hotcakes!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2004(3) business ventures(44) Food(45) george funk(11) recipes(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
The Evian Mobile

Views: 148/4652
Added: 03/22/2009

In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen powered car that ran on common bottled water; a 20oz bottle lasted 350 miles. Unfortunately bottled water hadn't been invented and George and Neal got tired of travelling forward and backward in time just to bring Evian back. Shortly after we stopped bringing water to the early 1900's the fledgling Ford Motor Company and Standard Oil were able to purchase the technology and pretend it never existed.

 

The Evian Mobile - This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.

This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1910(1) business ventures(44) energy(6) inventions(48) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: evian(1) fordmotor company(1) standard oil(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
It's Convenient: The Origin

Views: 414/6189
Added: 03/26/2009

In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our idea and is widely credited with inventing the convenience store. I guess it's our own fault though. We abandoned our stores in 718 AD leaving them in the care of the Saxons. How were we to know that Charlemagne would crush them nearly 100 years later? Oh yeah, never mind. Our bad. Anyway, Charlemagne ran the stores for a decade before dying and passing ownership on to his son Louis, who ran the stores into bankruptcy in just a few short decades.

Tags: 1927(3) 711(1) 718(1) business ventures(44) historic events(18) inventions(48) origin(24) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: 7-eleven(1) charlemagne(1) joe thompson(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Big Triangular Shaped Buildings

Views: 564/5855
Added: 03/27/2009

In 2540 BCE George and Neal designed and supervised the construction of the great Pyramid at Giza. We didn't use slave labor like many historians suspect though. Instead we paid our employees handsomely. We provided full benefits, including family health insurance, 401K with matching contributions, stock options, profit sharing, paid vacation, travel reimbursement, relocation fees, and more. Our first 500 workers even got generous signing bonuses. Our construction company, called The Pyramid Scheme, was extremely successful and even went international, with various other designs built in places as far away as Sumeria (most notably in the city of Ur), China, Tlachihualtepetl and Tiwanaku in the Inca Empire, Hellinikon in Greece, for the Maori in Polynesia, North America, Africa, and even a few in Alaska and one in Antarctica.

 

Big Triangular Shaped Buildings - Don't worry, we met with their union representatives and came to an agreement. We provided them with additional healthcare coverage and time off and they agreed to a 2% pay reduction. Also, we turned up the heat (Egypt was pretty cold back then). The project was completed on schedule (without resorting to the time machine), quite an accomplishment for George and Neal.

Don't worry, we met with their union representatives and came to an agreement. We provided them with additional healthcare coverage and time off and they agreed to a 2% pay reduction. Also, we turned up the heat (Egypt was pretty cold back then). The project was completed on schedule (without resorting to the time machine), quite an accomplishment for George and Neal.

Photo by: George

Tags: .2450 bce(1) africa(3) ancient wonders(9) antarctica(2) asia(2) business ventures(44) europe(4) north america(2) south america(3)
Names Mentioned: africa(2) alaska(1) antarctica(2) china(3) great pyramid at giza(2) greece(2) inca empire(1) north america(1) polynesia(1) sumeria(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party

Views: 178/10503
Added: 04/04/2009

Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Territory". George would bake the cakes and deliver them and Neal would jump out of them. This was a very successful business until August, 1998, when Neal believed he was being sent to a bachelorette party. At the designated time Neal leaped out of the cake and began shaking his stuff while bills got stuffed into his speedo. After about 10 minutes Neal realized that the laughs were slightly deeper than what he would expect from a bachelorette party. Upon wiping the whipped cream from his eyes Neal realized he was actually at Jerry Falwell's 65th birthday party and Mr. Falwell was just about to stuff another $20 into Neal's G-String. Neal shouted and ran, closely followed by a mob of seniors stuffing change down his coin slot, toward the door yelling for George to "Start the van! Start the van!" Neal escaped with a whopping $1,642.63 in those 10 short minutes, not including the roll of quarters he kept stuffed in his banana hammock.

 

Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Taken just seconds before Neal took off running, much to Jerry and Pat's disappointment.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1992(2) 1998(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) christian(8) food(45) movies(40) neal's fashion sense(20) phallus(8) religion(11) scantily clad people(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: jerry falwell(2) pat robertson(1) under siege(3) under siege 2: dark territory(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Neal's On Wheels

Views: 437/7077
Added: 04/19/2009

(Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He called it "Neal's On Wheels". Not to be outdone, George provided a service wherein he hid food all over the metropolitan Chicago area for patrons to find and eat. He called it "George's Forage". When that didn't work, because food was usually partially eaten by the large packs of feral mongooses that will roam the streets of Chicago in 2040, he started "George's Porridge", although this led to a lawsuit from an adult movie studio, who claimed the name "George's Porridge" was the title of a long-running (but mediocre selling) line of movies.

 

Neal's On Wheels - Sure they look cute, but when you have thousands of these little guys trying to cross Lake Shore Drive it tends to get messy... Cabbies don't like to stop.

Sure they look cute, but when you have thousands of these little guys trying to cross Lake Shore Drive it tends to get messy... Cabbies don't like to stop.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(44) chicago(10) food(45) lawsuits(13) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
It's Not a Jewish eBay

Views: 264/5477
Added: 05/04/2009

In 2014, Neal and George created the website, "Oybay", the very first auction website devoted entirely to the sale and purchase of Jewish items.

 

It's Not a Jewish eBay - Eh... You can't beat such a deal!

Eh... You can't beat such a deal!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2014(7) business ventures(44) jewish(6) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: ebay(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

Views: 185/6268
Added: 05/16/2009

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what could happen, but we were much more responsible with our manufacturing process, using only cutting edge sustainable technology, including using biofuels, 99% recycling efforts, solar cells and solar collectors to generate heat and electricity, reforestation projects, and more. Our patented Thneed Manufacturing Process was so low impact that most people don't even know it existed. And I guess that was our downfall. No one bought our Thneeds. In 2008 George brought suit against Fosdick Corporation, the company which markets the Snuggie, a blatant rip-off of the Thneed. Neal also filed suit against Fosdick Corporation, but because they are using the trademarked name he uses for his line of underwear (which he exclusively models). Neal's Fosdick Tighty Whiteys sell worse than the Thneeds...

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(44) inventions(48) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Play With George's Balls!

Views: 227/5279
Added: 05/18/2009

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

 

Divorce Court Hero - Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1985(4) 2013(7) business ventures(44) games(15) lawsuits(13) peanuts(6) sports(23) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: guitar hero(1) nintendo(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
HeadPeriodical

Views: 170/4434
Added: 05/27/2009

In an effort to compete with Facebook, during 2011, Neal and George created the newest online community, HeadPeriodical. Seen by most as a cheap rip-off and inferior to FB, the website was largely dismissed. Their advertising campaign, "Because Your Grandma Thinks You're Cool" made little sense and did little to help.

Tags: 2011(8) business ventures(44) facebook(10) failures(22) publications(14) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Made in USA

Views: 181/5260
Added: 06/03/2009

In 1954 George and Neal patented a "Made in China" sticker that could be added to products that were made in China. Today production of our stickers has skyrocketed and we have expanded our product line to include "Made in Taiwan", "Made in Korea", "Made in Mexico", "Made in Honduras", and many other "Made in ..." stickers. We also produce stamps, tags, and labels. We are very proud of our business since all of our stickers and other items are 100% American Made and our factories employ 750,000 Americans and only 150,000 illegal immigrants. And our business is one of the few that keeps growing as more and more American manufacturing jobs are shipped overseas. We are happy to be doing our part to keep American jobs at home.

 

Made in USA - A proud product of America!

A proud product of America!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1954(2) business ventures(44) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) china(3) honduras(1) korea(1) mexico(2) taiwan(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Hair, Inc.

Views: 632/11938
Added: 06/29/2009

In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. The business was an overnight success when the Beatles (who were actually all completely bald) became their first clients. Over the years our business has grown and we supply hair for all the biggest stars. We had our most profitable decade in the 1980's with the rise in popularity of "Glam Rock" and "Hair Metal" bands. Some of our highest profile clients include, in addition to The Beatles, Aerosmith, The Rolling Stones, Poison, Don King, Lyle Lovett, Twisted Sister's Dee Snider, Willie Nelson, ZZ Top (but just their beards), Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley of Kiss, Crystal Gayle, and the left half of David Bowie's head, just to name a few. We have been trying to gain Paul Simon, Ron Howard and Sinead O'Connor as clients for years without success. Brittney Spears was our client at one point, but we had a falling out in February 2007 before she turned to one of our inferior competitors, "Rock Locks" (who also services the rest of Kiss, Slaughter, Howard Stern, and Motley Crew, among others). We also used to do the hair for Metallica, until they decided to start sucking. About the only celebrity who's hair is actually real is our good friend David Allan Coe's, and that's some bad-ass hair for an old guy.

 

Hair, Inc. - Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Thanks to Hair, Inc. very few people knew that the Fab Four were really the Bald Four.

Photo by: George

 

Not a client of Hair, Inc. - George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

George on stage with his buddy David Allan Coe (not a client of Hair, Inc.). Neal wasn't allowed on stage, but he did take this awesome picture.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1964(2) 2007(2) beatles(3) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) hair(11) music(26)
Names Mentioned: ace frehley(1) aerosmith(2) beatles(4) brittney spears(1) crystal gayle(1) david allan coe(1) david bowie(1) dee snider(1) don king(1) gene simmons(1) howard stern(1) kiss(2) lyle lovett(1) metallica(2) motley crew(1) paul simon(2) poison(1) rolling stones(2) ron howard(2) sinead o'connor(1) slaughter(1) twisted sister(1) willie nelson(1) zz top(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
View & Share:
The Fountain of Youth

Views: 145/4738
Added: 07/01/2009

In 1609 George and Neal discovered the Fountain of Youth in Florida, just where Ponce de Leon thought it was. We kept the fountain's location a secret, but over the years the instinctive draw to the fountain has caused Florida to become home to a vast majority of the nation's elderly. Attracting senior citizens is not a new feature of the fountain, however. In fact, the Seminole Indians were not really a separate tribe of Native Americans. They were actually just the old people from other Native American tribes. Consequently, Seminole is the origin of the English word "senile". In 1958 a retirement community called "Your Last Resort" (built by another George & Neal company called God's Waiting Room Properties, Ltd.) was built on the location of the fountain. During construction the waters of the fountain were unwittingly diverted into the sewer system. The rejuvenating power of the water still works, but is significantly less palatable to drink now.

Tags: 1609(1) 1958(1) aging(2) business ventures(44) etymology(4) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: florida(1) ponce de leon(1) seminole indians(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
The ChickenPede

Views: 188/5876
Added: 07/23/2009

In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of Neal's (he named it Perdue) until George realized the financial opportunity and sold Perdue and the ChickenPede breeding technique to KFC. Neal was devastated, but agreed that Perdue was tasty. We also tried selling the breeding technique to Hooters, but they claimed they already had enough breasts, thighs, and legs and to contact them when we made a chicken with more wings. We're still researching that.

 

The ChickenPede - RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.

RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1996(2) business ventures(44) chicken(2) genetics(16) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: hooters(1) kentucky fried chicken(1) perdue chicken(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA

Views: 142/5695
Added: 08/11/2009

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs that people are intimately familiar with from their days as infants. Now adults can enjoy all the comforts of baby furniture! Sleep in your own personal, adult size crib. Eat without the hassle of a table with your very own high chair. Relax in your very own swing, complete with three point harness. Driving has never been safer with your very own car seat (we don't recommend using it rear facing in the driver's seat however). Or enjoy your favorite IISL events from the comfort of a vibrating bouncy chair. It doesn't get any better than that.

 

This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2017(2) business ventures(44) george's fashion sense(12) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: ikea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis

Views: 133/3909
Added: 08/20/2009

In early 2010, in an attempt to attract the age 80+ and technophobe demographics, as well as providing an alternate supply for the Facebook addicts, George and Neal brokered an agreement with cNet Publishing and Facebook for a monthly printed edition of Facebook called "Facemag - your offline fix". The magazine is roughly 900 pages each month of status updates, quizzes, and pictures submitted by subscribers the month before via snail mail. It also contains pointless advertisements, recommendations for things you might like but actually don't, and thousands upon thousands of little card inserts for all sorts of useless stuff (it falls all over the place and makes a huge mess as soon as you open the magazine). And of course there's the monthly feature: The Latest in the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! It's not quite as fast paced as its online counterpart, but it's just as big a waste of time.

 

Facemag - Hell on Osteoporosis - The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

The Large Print edition was over four times as thick, and this was just the second issue. By 2012 the standard print edition was over 3 feet thick.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(44) facebook(10) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: cnet publishing(1) facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
I Dare You!

Views: 165/10405
Added: 08/25/2009

On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared Neal to eat a live worm (not knowing that Neal had done this for free in the past, on a number of occasions). Neal then dared George to go back in time and dress like a woman at a number of milestones in his life.

 

I Dare You! - Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Although there were those who thought George was the bride, it was still a beautiful ceremony. George decided to keep the toaster that he received; the newlyweds didn't seem to mind.

Photo by: Neal

After George went to numerous weddings, funerals, birthday parties, circumcisions, etc. dressed as a woman, George then dared Neal to not be witty, funny and/or suave for one day. (Neal of course could not do so - his awesomeness is by instinct not design). After trying (and failing) not to be awesome, Neal then dared George to erase Dan Ackroyd's entire existence. George did so with ease and great pleasure. Of course, George had to find someone to fill in the now Ackroyd-less roles...

 

Dan Ack-who? - Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Now George's come-on, "Hey baby, wanna see my proton pack?" makes sense.

Photo by: Neal

The dares continued, each more fantastic than the last, which all culminated somehow in Neal thinking he could take on Muhammad Ali in his prime. Six concussions later, he discovered he could not. Neal would have continued the dare contest, but after multiple blows to the skull, he forgot all about the contest and for some reason instead decided to be a divorce attorney. George was satisfied, believing that somehow this meant he won the contest.

 

Neal vs Cassius Clay - Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Funny, Neal doesn't remember this at all. (George, on the other hand, remembers it very, very clearly, having profited immensely from all the shirts, DVDs, postcards, "Happy Birthday, Grandma" birthday cards, toilet paper, penile enlargement packs, and other products he sold bearing this image. Thanks George.)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2010(16) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) competition(10) food(45) george's fashion sense(12) movies(40) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: cassius clay(1) dan ackroyd(1) ghost busters(1) muhammad ali(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
View & Share:
Get $245 Free (maybe)

Views: 131/4035
Added: 09/04/2009

In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunately the promises turned out to be big lies and the launch was a huge failure. I guess we shouldn't have had sayings like "Of course I'll call you tomorrow." or "No dear, that outfit does not make you look fat, I swear!" and "I will not raise taxes if I'm elected." DOVE canned us and two years later launched their successful line of chocolate Promises. We're now writing exclusively for the American Meteorological Society.

 

Get $245 Free (maybe) - Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)

Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1989(3) business ventures(44) failures(22) food(45) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: american meteorological society(1) dove chocolate(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
George Takes a Break

Views: 180/4383
Added: 09/05/2009

In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the Meadows of Elysium Bed & Breakfast. Unfortunately the whole thing was a disaster. Maybe it was because George doesn't sleep... Maybe it was because George doesn't eat breakfast (let alone cook it)... Or maybe it was because adventure just has a way of finding George. In the six months George was running his BnB it was attacked by zombies three times, killer robots once, and chainsaw wielding raccoons twice. George's patrons (those that survived) refused to ever return nor refer their friends and family. By October George had decided to leave the hospitality business and return to the life of adventure, fame and mystery that he was destined for.

Neal, on the other hand, started a very successful chain of hotels called X-Torch Inn, later renamed Hotel-9. Neal's success wasn't due so much to his hotels' amenities, cleanliness, or reputation so much as it was his policy of photoshopping... I mean photographing wealthy patrons committing adultery. Then he would threaten to show the photos to the guilty party's spouse (resulting in a very messy divorce) unless the party agreed to use Neal's law firm for their divorce proceedings (resulting in a very expensive, but much less messy divorce). It was a twisted web that he wove, but it resulted in the very profitable sale of Hotel-9 to Motel 6 in 2081. The merger of Motel 6 and Hotel-9 (called by the media the "6-9 Hookup") was touted as the biggest corporate acquisition of the century.

Tags: 2016(8) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) gimme a break(5) ninjas(3) raccoons(3) robots(7) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: motel 6(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
New George and New Neal

Views: 211/5118
Added: 09/08/2009

On April 23, 1985, Coca-Cola changed its formula and released the New Coke. Not to be outdone, George and Neal intentionally altered their DNA to create New George and New Neal. Much like the New Coke, the response was overwhelmingly negative, and the original George and Neal were back on the market in less than 3 months (though secretly, much like the New Coke, many thought New George and Neal tasted better).

After the reintroduction of Original George and Neal, popular opinion surrounding them skyrocketed. Countless nations (including the kingdoms of England, the Netherlands, and Talossa) proclaimed George and Neal their Kings. This, too, led to its own set of problems, as George, bitter at the idea of having to share his kingdoms with an equally awesome and well-endowed genius, plotted to overthrow Neal. Neal did the same. Luckily, they were able to resolve their differences over a three-day game of Tic-Tac-Toe-Two.

Tags: 1985(4) business ventures(44) genetics(16) george funk(11) neal funk(18) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) coca-cola(1) netherlands(1) new coke(2) talossa(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
President Obama's Education Recovery Effort

Views: 679/7923
Added: 09/08/2009

In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Businesses and Celebrities, Inventions, and Other Crap. 4th through 6th grade tests each consist of 200 multiple choice questions, 7th and 8th grade is a combination of 250 multiple choice and short answer questions, and high school also includes an essay section. Also all US Citizens are required to complete a 150 question multiple choice test once every four years. Failure to pass the test could result in suspension of your US Citizenship and up to 10 years of living in Britain. So you better start studying now!

 

President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) britain(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) education(9) government(16) historic events(18) inventions(48) laws(10) obama(4)
Names Mentioned: america(8) barack obama(4) britain(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce

Views: 1387/7012
Added: 09/18/2009

In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make a Dr. Pepper flavored barbecue sauce. In support of his favorite jaguanst, George developed a Mountain Dew flavored barbecue sauce. Both sauces sold well, but the debate over which one was better was beginning to get bloody by late 2009. So, in the interest of world peace, George and Neal halted production of the two sauces and developed the hybrid Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce. The sauce was mind-numbingly awesome, and swept the nation. In fact, people began simply drinking the barbecue sauce rather than applying it to their tasty meat (that's what she said, am I right?). Soon, companies began distributing the bbq sauce in vending machines (20 oz. for only $1.75!). Gradually, all currencies in the world were replaced by bottles of barbecue sauce, which led to a more solid global economy, ancillary causing world peace. It only lasted 14 minutes, but man, what a great 14 minutes!

Tags: 2008(6) 2009(21) 3041(1) business ventures(44) economy(8) food(45) inventions(48) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) recipes(9) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2) mountain dew(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
GONADS

Views: 211/8048
Added: 10/04/2009

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(44) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(48) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
View & Share:
Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter)

Views: 178/7223
Added: 10/10/2009

By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves, Ask.com, Goodsearch, SearchMe, Wheresthatdangwebsite.com and 150 million others) that George and Neal started their own search engine, which conveniently enough searched for other search engines.

Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(44) inventions(48) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: altavista(1) ask jeeves(1) ask.com(1) goodsearch(1) google(1) infoseek(1) lycos(1) magellan(1) searchme(1) yahoo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Couch Potatoes Illustrated

Views: 150/3610
Added: 12/10/2009

Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started their own magazine, Couch Potatoes Illustrated. With articles such as "How to Increase Your Lazy Boy Butt Imprint," "Which Brand of Doritos is Right For You" and "20 Ways to Please Your...Self", demand for the magazine was high. Unfortunately, none of the would-be subscribers had enough energy to purchase the magazine, resulting in cancellation after one issue.

Tags: 2009(21) business ventures(44) failures(22) publications(14) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: doritos(1) sports illustrated(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Restraining Orders Suck

Views: 193/8072
Added: 01/29/2010

Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away from one another (except for that brief period in 2058 when they secretly invented the edible harmonica under cover of the darkest night). In 2059, Awesomeness!™ was reinstated, and George and Neal were allowed to continue their adventures. They reconnected during 2059... Well, in actual fact, for them it was 2059, but they really reconnected during 424 BCE, in Ancient Persia. At that time, George and Neal started a business selling camels to the citizens of Persia (which were used in combat because of the camels' natural ability to scare off horses in close ranges, a quality famously employed by the Achaemenid Persians when fighting Lydia... See? Education is fun!). George and Neal were known for selling camels with enhanced feet and toes, which assisted the camels during their long and sometimes treacherous travel. You can still purchase your own enhanced camel, provided you, too, have a time machine and can find George and Neal's shop, "Freaky Deaky Camels". (Not the best name for a shop, but much better than Neal's suggestion, "Hey, Look at all my Camel Toes!" and George's suggestion, "My Friend Neal Has Camel Toes".)

Tags: .424 bce(1) 2056(2) 2058(2) 2059(3) animals(16) business ventures(44) education(9) food(45) gimme a break(5) government(16) laws(10) mashups(12) music(26) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: persia(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
View & Share:
Just don't use it on your clothes, please.

Views: 140/3948
Added: 08/09/2010

In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and complex hoax (okay, so it wasn't that complex, since Neal just held up his hand and claimed to be holding something invisible).

 

Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2048(1) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) inventions(48) jaguanst(8)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
SUPER POWERS

Views: 195/5591
Added: 08/09/2010

In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with alternate versions of themselves that came from a parallel universe where everyone has what we would call in this reality, "SUPER POWERS" (yes, in all caps). Shortly after arriving in this reality the SUPER George and Neal realized that they were the only ones in this reality with their special powers. They quickly turned to a life of heroic deeds, saving humanity from many disasters, criminals, and accidents. Meanwhile, in the alternate SUPER reality, normal George and Neal were soon discovered to lack the ability to fly, leap over tall buildings in a single bound, or catch a speeding bullet in their teeth (although that last one was luckily never tested since in the SUPER reality bullets are useless and thus guns were never invented). Initially George and Neal were ridiculed and abused, then later pitied and became the beneficiaries of several humanitarian charities. Scientists researched them, tested them, and probed them mercilessly. Until late in 1977, when George had finally had enough. He left the confines of the research facility and searched for a useful role in society. He was amazed to find out that despite all their SUPER abilities, the residents of the SUPER reality lacked some very basic skills. So George forged a new identity, saving the SUPER citizens from environmental and financial disaster. George became "Bicycle Repair Man!", fixing the basic mode of transportation for all the SUPER beings. (You see, since they were SUPER strong and SUPER fast the inhabitants of the SUPER reality never had the need to invent automobiles. They could pedal anywhere as fast as they wanted. However their lack of bicycle repair skills meant they never fixed their bicycles when they broke. Instead they would toss them in the nearest landfill and purchase another new bike, resulting in thousands and thousands of square miles of nothing but bicycle junkyards - providing plenty of usable parts for George, the Bicycle Repair Man!) Neal, on the other hand, kind of enjoyed the scientific probes and remained in the research facility until 1984 when an unusually active burst of sunspots caused the rift in the reality matrix to fix itself and sent SUPER George and Neal back to their own reality and returned normal George and Neal to this reality.

 

SUPER POWERS - SUPER George working his day job as a pizza delivery man. He saved thousands from hunger by delivering pizza to the bad neighborhoods that other pizza delivery guys were afraid to traverse. Just one of SUPER George's many heroic deeds during his tenure in this reality.

SUPER George working his day job as a pizza delivery man. He saved thousands from hunger by delivering pizza to the bad neighborhoods that other pizza delivery guys were afraid to traverse. Just one of SUPER George's many heroic deeds during his tenure in this reality.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1975(2) 1977(2) 1984(10) business ventures(44) science(28) super heroes(3) teleportation(10) you're welcome(2)
Names Mentioned: monty python's flying circus(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Westboro Baptist Church

Views: 158/4857
Added: 08/27/2012

In 2013, in an attempt to connect with the average American, Westboro Baptist Church contacted Neal and George for their advice. We recommended they reach the American public through food. In early 2014 the church released their Westboro Bun Sized Weiners in the hopes that they would be sold at little league baseball and pee-wee football games across the nation. Unfortunately the slogan for the hotdogs, "Our Weiners Fit In Your Buns!" didn't do much to help the church's cause. Later that year the entire church and hot dog factory was swallowed by a large fish.

 

Westboro Baptist Church - Ingredients include: Beef, Hypocrisy, Water, Salt, Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Mustard, Natural Flavorings (including Brimstone, Hellfire, and Natural Smoke) and Coloring (but not Black, Yellow, Brown or Red), Garlic Juice (Garlic Juice, Salt), Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Extractives of Paprika, Sheep Casing. We suspect the beef was from a golden calf.

Ingredients include: Beef, Hypocrisy, Water, Salt, Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Mustard, Natural Flavorings (including Brimstone, Hellfire, and Natural Smoke) and Coloring (but not Black, Yellow, Brown or Red), Garlic Juice (Garlic Juice, Salt), Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite, Extractives of Paprika, Sheep Casing.

We suspect the beef was from a golden calf.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2013(7) 2014(7) business ventures(44) Food(45) religion(11) westboro baptist church(2)
Names Mentioned: westboro baptist church(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Chronal Warriors George

Views: 256/6458
Added: 09/01/2012

With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effort to cash in on their fame. The toy line was an immediate success, and such figures as "Kung Fu Grip George" and "Nasal Drip Neal" sold like hot cakes.

 

Chronal Warriors George - This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.

This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.

Photo by: Neal

 

Chronal Warriors Neal - Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."

Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."

Photo by: Neal

 

Grabbin' my Neal and George - Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".

Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".

Photo by: Neal

The toy line made George and Neal oodles of money. George was just happy that now when Neal played with himself in public, it wasn't so controversial.

Tags: 1985(4) action figures(2) business ventures(44) economy(8) nicknames(14) toys(3)
Names Mentioned: clio awards(1) g i joe(1) gobots(1) hasbro(1) tonka(1) transformers(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
View & Share:
Joy to Everyone!

Views: 199/6232
Added: 10/01/2013

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swirled around baby Jesus and the animals. But when our Chinese manufacturer shipped the snow globes to us everything was perfect (well, baby Jesus was replaced by a frog, but hey, whatever sells), until the music started with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!". But they sold really, really well! Even better than our "Oh Holy Night" whoopee cushions.

 

Joy to Everyone! - It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.

It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2019(3) animals(16) business ventures(44) chart topping(4) christian(8) economy(8) failures(22) great music(4) holidays(8) hot tunes(2) oops(16) religion(11) rock stars(3) success!(13)
Names Mentioned: three dog night(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Need More Conventions!!!

Views: 189/9155
Added: 12/08/2013

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and Neal decided to found the first annual ComConCon. This convention was to promote awareness of other conventions. Participants were encouraged to come dressed as their favorite convention. For the first year Neal dressed as the Cleveland Comic, Card and Nostalgia Show and George dressed as Awesome Con DC. The annual ComConCons were a huge success until a small scandal in 2042 when the manager of long time ComConCon participant Illinois Government ComiCon, Ryan Hodge Blagokowski, was convicted of corruption and masterminding a scheme that hoodwinked millions of people out of hundreds of dollars (he claimed to be selling pre-release copies of the seventh book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, however he was taking the money and had no intention of ever delivering the books, much like Martin himself...). This grand scam was dubbed the ComConCon Con. After spending 13 years behind bars(with 'A Dream of Spring' still listed as 'forthcoming'), R.H. Blagokowski was forever referred to as 'The ComConCon Con Con'.

 

Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention. The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(44) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Monkey Back Guarantee!

Views: 322/4882
Added: 04/11/2014

In 2030, it became extremely fashionable to have a hairy back. To cash in on this trend, George and Neal created a lotion that would increase the hair on your back by 650%. They were so confident that the lotion would work that they offered a "monkey back guarantee."

 

Monkey Back Guarantee! - If ever we are taken over by ant overlords, we intend to foster a sense of insecurity amongst the ants about their hairlessness - then sell them our lotion.  Boom.  Money.

If ever we are taken over by ant overlords, we intend to foster a sense of insecurity amongst the ants about their hairlessness - then sell them our lotion. Boom. Money.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2030(3) ant overlords(1) business ventures(44) fashion(3) george's fashion sense(12) hairy backs(1) lotion(2) monkey back guarantee(1) neal's fashion sense(20)
Names Mentioned: Ant Overlord(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
View & Share:
Lava Lamps: The Origin

Views: 297/8069
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(44) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(48) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin

Views: 560/13170
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, Issue 5 of Men's Wear magazine in January 1909 before Elbert Hubbard used in in Reader's Digest in October 1927 and Dale Carnegie made it famous when he published it as: "When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade." Rule #6, at the end of Chapter 17 in Carnegie's "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" published in 1948. George is very proud of the success of this phrase, despite the fact that is has been misquoted right from the beginning. What George actually said was "When fate gives you lemurs, you should try to make lemurade." Neal also tried to capitalize on George's phrase, but it turns out that people really don't like the whole idea of lemurade.

 

When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on.  At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on. At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1909(1) 1927(3) 1948(3) animals(16) blends(3) business ventures(44) etymology(4) first(3) in good company(6) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33) rhubarb(4) smoothies(7) spellcheck wants to change rambuten to perambulate(1) they stole our ideas(7) things neal eats(9)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) elbert hubbard(1) how to stop worrying and start living(1) men's wear magazine(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
View & Share:
Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww...

Views: 118/549
Added: 02/11/2019

In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually play on the lines instead of the squares. This opened up many new strategies, that for centuries, had been hidden and remained unexplored. In order to cash in on the Tic Tac Toe hype, George partnered with Ferrero SpA candy company on a new line of candy. Tic Tac Toes were less popular than their minty counterparts, but they sold reasonably well for most of the next decade.

 

Tic Tac Toe... Eewwww... - This was the variety pack.  Some of the most popular flavors, like Hyperhidrosis, Corns, and Burst Blister, came in their own packaging.

This was the variety pack. Some of the most popular flavors, like Hyperhidrosis, Corns, and Burst Blister, came in their own packaging.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2039(1) biological warfare(2) business ventures(44) candy crush(3) food(45) food poisoning(3) foot odor(3) games(15) george and neal(3) stinky feet(3) things george eats(3) things neal eats(9) things we made better(4) those look like comfortable shoes(3)
Names Mentioned: Ferrero SpA(1) Tic Tac(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



Visitor Stats
Mouse Over to View

Real Time Web Analytics

View this on Facebook! Post comments!

George on Google+ | Neal on Google+ | George on Facebook | Neal on Facebook | Free Ebooks | Full Saga | Entry Timeline | Fun Stats | Featured | Favorites
XML Sitemap
All Content © 2009-2019 by George Jaros and Neal Simon
Disclaimer: If you think an image displayed here is owned by you, please contact us via the comment form or .
The TRUTH, for those that wish to seek it...
eXTReMe Tracker