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The Neo-Geo Fanclub

Views: 178/4820
Added: 04/03/2009

In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of pulleys and levers connected to highly explosive nitroglycerin. This invention did nothing - except result in Neal and George both losing their eyebrows for a month. The invention was considered a failure by most of George and Neal's fans (who collectively form the fanclub Neo-Geo, not to be confused with the failed 1990s gaming system of the same name). It is considered a failure both as a result of the inventors' lack of foresight, as well as the fact that as of 2005 (when they did their experiment), accurate weather forecasting had existed for hundreds of years.

 

The Neo-Geo Fanclub - Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990s(3) 2005(2) failures(22) hair(11) inventions(48) organizations(15) video games(12) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Religious iDeals

Views: 228/6348
Added: 04/05/2009

In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of this religion involved eating lots of chocolate, sleeping, makin' sweet love down by the fire, and playing video games (the latter being extremely difficult in 1935). Wanting to follow in Neal's footsteps, George created his own religion in 1944, called The First United Orthodox Church of Georgish Science. George amazed his followers by constantly quoting from the Simpsons and the Blues Brothers. Since neither had been created in 1944, his people found George to be the funniest, wittiest man alive.

Tags: 1935(1) 1944(1) food(45) government(16) movies(40) religion(11) science(28) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: blues brothers(1) the simpsons(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Captain Gooey and The Incredible Taint

Views: 180/3734
Added: 04/22/2009

For a brief time in 1963, Neal and George became super heroes, using the pseudonym "Captain Gooey" and "The Incredible Taint", respectively. Their foray into costumed adventures was cut short sadly, due to a restraining order (which I am restricted from discussing). Neal and George gained financially, however, as they sued Activision for improper use of their likeness rights, in the bestselling adult themed video game, "Smegman vs. The Overwhelming Taint."

Tags: 1963(2) george funk(11) lawsuits(13) neal funk(18) nicknames(14) super heroes(3) video games(12) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: activision(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Duke Nukem Forever

Views: 134/2968
Added: 05/12/2009

In April 2097 George and Neal released the long anticipated video game, Duke Nukem Forever, only 100 years after it was announced. Contrary to popular belief the project was never cancelled, was not a myth, and really did take 100 years of work to develop. Just wait until you get to play it. It will kick your ass and then go in search of more bubblegum.

Tags: 2097(1) kicking ass(16) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: duke nukem(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story

Views: 510/6090
Added: 05/16/2009

In 1982, Neal and George wrote, produced, and starred in the off-Broadway musical, "Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story." The play, which had an all-ninja cast, was a rousing success. The musical ended up winning two Tony's and garnered such praise as:

"The whimsical comedy is packed with clever ideas and has an engaging cast to bring these cartoonish figures to life..." - San Diego Times

"...as cerebral as it is emotional." - D. Braunagel

"Hits you like a sledgehammer with its astounding, stunningly creepy presentation... Two Thumbs Up!" - R. Ebert

The Helen Keller musical was later adapted as a video game, originally titled "Helen Keller Will Destroy You!" but was subsequently retitled "Mortal Kombat." The video game was also successful, though it lacked the political subtext of the play, as well as the original final boss Helen "The Killer" Keller.

 

Fingers of Doom!: the Helen Keller Story - It was an instant classic...

It was an instant classic...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1982(5) people of history(33) theater(8) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: broadway(3) don braunagel(1) helen keller(1) mortal kombat(1) roger ebert(1) san diego(1) tony awards(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Super George Brothers

Views: 112/1827
Added: 05/18/2009

In 1981, George created a ground-breaking side-scrolling video game, Super George Brothers. The game chronicled George's love of eating weird mushrooms he would find on the ground, running around without a shirt, and his penchant for jumping on turtles (George had issues back then, which he has since resolved. However, he still goes into nervous convulsions when he sees a turtle poking its head out.)

 

Super George Brothers - George's macho style was sadly covered in clothes in the Nintendo remake.

George's macho style was sadly covered in clothes in the Nintendo remake.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1981(4) turtles & tortoises(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: super mario brothers(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Play With George's Balls!

Views: 224/5202
Added: 05/18/2009

Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest game, "Grab George's Nutballs" (in which players were encouraged to fight other players in order to keep a ball filled entirely with peanuts), George was forced to sell his video game to the Nintendo Corporation in 1985 so that he could defend the lawsuits.

Undiscouraged by this setback, George teamed up with Neal to develop another video game, this time based upon Neal's chosen career in family law. After years of development, George and Neal are set to debut their game, Divorce Court Hero, in 2013.

 

Divorce Court Hero - Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Break up marriages for fun and profit!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1985(4) 2013(7) business ventures(44) games(15) lawsuits(13) peanuts(6) sports(23) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: guitar hero(1) nintendo(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Saved By The 1-Up

Views: 149/4797
Added: 06/01/2009

In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by George. Neal realized at this point that he had a dangerous addiction to video games and entered a rehab clinic. Five years later Neal was released, completely cured of his addiction to 2D video games. However by that time 3D games were popular and Neal slipped right back into the habit. Shortly thereafter an extended Quake session left Neal twitchy and pale (not much different from his normal state, actually). He claims to have completed a full Speedrun in only 8 minutes 34 seconds, but since he failed to record it, and Neal is prone to making up greatly exaggerated and fantastic stories about his accomplishments, few believed him at the time. In 2005 George decided to confirm Neal's story once and for all and traveled back to 1996 to witness Neal's amazing accomplishment. George was impressed and decided that Neal's video game addiction was impressive enough to let continue. No more rehab for Neal! At least not for video games...

Tags: 1991(3) 1996(2) 2001(8) 2005(2) amazing abilities(16) rehab(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: bad dudes(1) quake(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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George Jaros's Punch Out

Views: 143/4313
Added: 08/08/2009

In 1987, Nintendo released Mike Tyson's Punch Out. Although it was a smash hit, many believe that the game would have sold significantly better had it been released in its original incarnation, George Jaros's Punch Out.

 

George Jaros's Punch Out - "007 373 5963" - this password led you to a world of hurtin', GJ style.

"007 373 5963" - this password led you to a world of hurtin', GJ style.

Photo by: Neal

Unfortunately, the likeness rights could not be obtained due to a dispute over George's physique. Nintendo wanted to opt for the "six pack" look for George's character; George wanted Nintendo to honor his actual appearance and give his character his 16-and-a-half-pack (which he gained as a result of the strength supplement that Neal created in 2342.

 

Simon Supplements - Simon Supplements - "Strong. Freakishly, freakishly strong."WARNING: Side effects may include awesomeness. And the complete loss of testicles.

Simon Supplements - "Strong. Freakishly, freakishly strong."

WARNING: Side effects may include awesomeness. And the complete loss of testicles.

Photo by: Neal

Neal, on the other hand, cared very little about how his likeness was presented in video games. As a result, he offered his likeness rights to Street Fighter 6. The results were, to say the least, embarrassing to his friends and family, many of whom moved away, leaving no forwarding address or contact information. If you are out there Grandma, Neal misses you.

 

Street Fighter 6 - Neal found that being overpowered by Chun Li was notably arousing. At least to him.

Neal found that being overpowered by Chun Li was notably arousing. At least to him.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1987(7) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: mike tyson(1) nintendo(2) punch out(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod

Views: 167/3118
Added: 09/02/2009

On June 1, 2011, Neal and George debuted their MMORPG video game, Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod (yes, it is an actual place in Oregon, as is Wankers Corner). The initial release was hugely anticipated, netting over 3.6 million users in the first 24 hours. Two days later, 65% of those users somehow acquired the measles, dysentery, or cholera, although their online personas remained healthy.

Tags: 2011(8) diseases(9) inventions(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: nimrod oregon(1) oregon trail(1) wankers corner oregon(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Sleep Sleep Revolution

Views: 166/3437
Added: 08/27/2012

Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.

 

Sleep Sleep Revolution - "So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

"So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(48) movies(40) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: dance dance revolution(1) xbox kinect(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds

Views: 332/11749
Added: 04/24/2014

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.

 


Listen to and download:
The Jaros Yodel.

The Simon Whimper.

Tags: amazing abilities(16) get aural(2) great music(4) in good company(6) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) music(26) sounds our bodies can make(1) turn it up and rock out(1) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: wilhelm scream(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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