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'1991' Tagged Entries

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Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless

Views: 752/4549
Added: 04/22/2009

In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George informed Neal that the unicorns were only mythical and that Neal's protest was essentially imaginary. Neal didn't care. He just wanted an excuse not to shower. On the plus side, among Neal's 27 distinct stenches, George discovered the pheromone that attracts Bison. As a result of George's hard work and Neal's diligent avoidance of water (as well as the general public's great sacrifice for putting up with Neal's diverse odors), the American Bison is currently making a comeback. An award was presented to George. Neal's award was mailed to him.

Tags: 1991(3) animals(16) awards and recognition(12) mythological critters(7) neal funk(18) organizations(15) save the aminals(6)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

Views: 220/6094
Added: 06/01/2009

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(40) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Saved By The 1-Up

Views: 144/4749
Added: 06/01/2009

In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by George. Neal realized at this point that he had a dangerous addiction to video games and entered a rehab clinic. Five years later Neal was released, completely cured of his addiction to 2D video games. However by that time 3D games were popular and Neal slipped right back into the habit. Shortly thereafter an extended Quake session left Neal twitchy and pale (not much different from his normal state, actually). He claims to have completed a full Speedrun in only 8 minutes 34 seconds, but since he failed to record it, and Neal is prone to making up greatly exaggerated and fantastic stories about his accomplishments, few believed him at the time. In 2005 George decided to confirm Neal's story once and for all and traveled back to 1996 to witness Neal's amazing accomplishment. George was impressed and decided that Neal's video game addiction was impressive enough to let continue. No more rehab for Neal! At least not for video games...

Tags: 1991(3) 1996(2) 2001(8) 2005(2) amazing abilities(16) rehab(3) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: bad dudes(1) quake(1)
Entry Logged By: George



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