The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 1988 George and Neal used their teleportation device to travel to the planet Eternia to inform the inhabitants of the successful legal proceedings described above. Unfortunately George was feared due to his uncanny resemblance to Skeletor, while Neal was just laughed at for his humorous antics and glowing eyes. George and Neal left feeling very offended and vowed to never return. We aren't sharing our proceeds from the action figure sales either.

 

In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Neal and George learned through their time traveling exploits that Joan of Arc really loved marshmallows, Beethoven was not deaf but rather he just didn't like listening to people, Ghengis Kahn was not a real person but instead was a bear dressed in men's clothing. The movie did accurately portray Napoleon as a jerk though. That guy stole George's iPod. "Jokes on you, little man," George cried angrily, "Where you going to charge it back in your time?" Of course, to Napoleon, all he heard was "Waa Waa Waaa Waa" Charlie Brown style, because he didn't speak English. Also, George didn't say dude. His favorite word? Jaguanst.

 

In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy love affair with George. Making it even more ironic, George had no idea the song was about him.

 

In 1988, George and Neal created cats and dogs with opposable thumbs and above-average intellects. Everyone was thrilled with the evolutionary jump - well, everyone except Bob Barker, who received copious amounts of angry letters from the critters. George and Neal's favorites include: "Hey Bob Barker - Screw you! Love, Cats & Dogs"; "Bob, I miss my testicles, you jerk! - Fido" and "Barker, YOUR balls are MINE!" Many animal activists have sided with the animals, calling for Bob Barker to be neutered. Gerbils, parakeets, and a number of other household pets have refused to take sides.

 

In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discovered the skeleton of a brand new sauropod during an archeological dig in Turkey Creek Canyon near Morrison, Colorado. While significantly smaller than Apatosaurus, George and Neal's discovery was interesting in the fact that it appeared to be bipedal and was discovered alongside what appeared to be a petrified outfit, consisting of a vest, gloves, and even a ray gun. To add to people's confusion they decided to name their new discovery "Brontosaurus II", or, more affectionately, Bronto Thunder. Over the next few years they discovered a wide range of heavily armed, bipedal dinosaur fossils. These discoveries were largely ignored (and openly ridiculed) by the scientific community, even though George and Neal used their time machine to travel back to 78,000,543 BCE to learn more about these fascinating creatures, bring them back to the present day, and join them on all sorts of wacky adventures. Finally, in 1987 The Coca-Cola Company took notice of George and Neal's publications in Paleontology Today, and decided to animate the adventures. Dinosaucers aired for one season in 1987 and 1988, adding to The Coca-Cola Company's list of '80s achievements, which also included New Coke (aka Coke II), Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, and Coca-Cola Telecommunications.

 

In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu and screaming "I LOVED YOU IN BEING JOHN MALKOVICH!" was the final straw - on a side note, Neal's constant mention of that film is what made John decide to take the roll of Craig Schwartz 10 years later). Cusack ended up body slamming Neal just minutes before filming the iconic radio scene. If you look closely in that scene you can see Neal's foot twitching in the bottom right corner of the frame.

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