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Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)...

Views: 195/8006
Added: 04/14/2009

George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was in the process of developing an actual artificial intelligence for a car, as well as a "human-like orifice" - what was that about, George?) he had to refuse the role. Neal was also approached to play a role in the TV series, but he didn't pass the audition process. The producers said he used too much emotion in his portrayal of a talking car. They also thought the voice over part for the car should be played by someone wearing more than platform shoes and a cape. Neal refused to compromise on his artistic interpretation of the part. Neal's love of the platform shoe and cape was the inspiration for Sesame Street's "The Count" - not Dracula, as most people believe was the basis for the character.

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980s(7) art is art(10) celebrities(69) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: baywatch(1) berlin(1) david hasselhoff(2) dracula(2) knight rider(2) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Monuments to Greatness

Views: 413/3654
Added: 05/11/2009

Gutzon Borglum originally had six faces carved on Mount Rushmore. The busts of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Abe Lincoln were flanked by Neal Simon (next to Washington) and George Jaros (next to Lincoln) to honor us for our countless contributions to human civilization. However, a freak thunderstorm in 1968 caused the faces of George and Neal to fall off the monument.

 

Monuments to Greatness - The original Mount Rushmore.

The original Mount Rushmore.

Photo by: George

A new monument nearby has been in the works for quite a while. Its developmental codename is the "Crazy Horse Memorial", but will most likely be released with a final name of "Jar-mon Mountain" or something similar.

 

Jar-mon Mountain - The in-progress Crazy Horse Monument and a model of what the finished sculpture will look like.

The in-progress Crazy Horse Monument and a model of what the finished sculpture will look like.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) awards and recognition(12) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) crazy horse memorial(1) george washington(2) gutzon borglum(1) mount rushmore(1) teddy roosevelt(1) thomas jefferson(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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Bob Ross: The Origin

Views: 156/5919
Added: 07/10/2009

In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint. So thanks to Neal and George and one talented kitten there are millions of "happy little trees". Who says we don't love the environment...

 

Bob Ross: The Origin - For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.

For years the cat lived in Bob Ross's hair, giving advice and supplying large amounts of dopamine.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1968(4) art is art(10) cats(8) celebrities(69) hair(11) origin(24)
Names Mentioned: bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson

Views: 259/6533
Added: 08/09/2009

As long as we're on the topic of classic rock music groups, it should be noted that George, Neal, and Brian Wilson were founding members of the Beach Boys, originally known as the Couch Boys. We turned out several minor hits, including Channel Surfin' USA, Channel Surfer Girl, Channel Surfin' Safari, and Couch Vibrations. In 1961 Brian decided Surfing was more marketable than sitting on a couch, kicked us out of the band, and changed the name. We were hurt for a time, but in the long run things worked out. Brian apologized by dedicating the "Pet Sounds" album to us (a reference to George's singing), but we really feel vindicated now. Today people still spend too much time sitting on their couches and no one cares about the Beach Boys any more. Suck on that Brian!

 

Couch Vibrations with Brian Wilson - The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...That was a classic!

The Couch Boys didn't last long, but we made some really great music.

I'm pickin' up couch vibrations... I think it's from flatulations... Couch, couch, couch... Couch vibrations...

That was a classic!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1961(1) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: beach boys(1) brian wilson(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent

Views: 146/6277
Added: 08/11/2009

Speaking of M.C. Escher, in 1955, George and Neal once rented an apartment from him. On the plus side, the rent was very low for such a roomy place. The downside? All the faceless people. Very creepy. Also, the conflicting laws of gravity made going to the bathroom very, very complicated and often times messy.

 

Vintage Escher Architecture - For Rent - Reason #85 why neither George nor Neal will win "Father of the Year": telling their children the bathroom is downstairs.

Reason #85 why neither George nor Neal will win "Father of the Year": telling their children the bathroom is downstairs.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1955(2) art is art(10) celebrities(69) failures(22)
Names Mentioned: m c escher(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Measure Your Spaghetti

Views: 231/4571
Added: 09/06/2009

In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough, but about 10 minutes into it we had actually hypnotized the entire House and Senate, as well as the President, Vice President, the president's Cabinet, Joint Chiefs of Staff, as well as numerous aides, interns, the press, secret service, foreign dignitaries, and several bystanders. During this short time we made them pass all sorts of humorous laws. For example, Title 214, Section 1212 of the Code of Federal Regulations says it is illegal to eat spaghetti longer than 26 1/2 inches in length on days that start with T, unless the weather is partially cloudy with at least a 30% chance of precipitation, in which case if spaghetti is eaten it must be at least 26 1/2 inches in length and must be slurped, not twisted on a fork. We also had everyone pose for a group photo.

 

Measure Your Spaghetti - Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.

Getting everyone to pose for this picture was surprisingly easier than you would think. In fact most of them were already snapping out of the hypnotic state by the time this picture was snapped.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2018(4) art is art(10) food(45) government(16) laws(10) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: america(8) spencer tunick(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right

Views: 186/15300
Added: 09/13/2009

In 2012 George and Neal recorded an album of cover songs, except instead of the actual lyrics we sang the lyrics that everyone thinks the original artists were singing. Neal's rendition of Jimmi Hendrix's Purple Haze was an instant hit ('Scuse me while I kiss this guy) while George's version of CCR's Bad Moon Risin' (There's a bathroom on the right) became the theme song for Larry Craig's 2012 presidential campaign. Other songs on the album included:
- Queen's Bohemian Raphsody (Scallaboosh, Scallaboosh, will you do the banned tango... and ...The algebra has a devil for a sidekick eeeeeeeeee....)
- Led Zepplin's Stairway To Heaven (And there's a wino down the road)
- Nirvana's All Apologies (Smoking on the ashes of your Aunt Louise)
- The Sound of Music's So Long, Farewell (So long, farewell, our feet are saying good-bye)
- Nirvana's Heart-Shaped Box (Hey, Wayne, I've got a new Cobain)
- Elvis's Are you Lonesome Tonight (Are you loathsome tonight? Do you mince meat....)
- The Beatles' Ticket to Ride (She's got a chicken to ride.)
- REM's The One I Love (This one goes out to the one-eyed dove.)
- Judy Garland's Somewhere Over the Rainbow (Where Tribbles smell like lemon drops)
- Madonna's Material Girl (I'm a Cheerio girl)
- Frank Sinatra's Strangers in the Night (Strangers and your wife, exchanging glances...)
- NIN's Closer (I want a duck shaped like a triangle, You give a toaster to Bob)
- Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water (Like a bridge over a tub of water)
- Glen Miller's Chattanooga Choo Choo (Pardon me boys, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?)

 

Chicken To Ride - And Other Classics Done Right - We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".

We're getting ready to release the second album, entitled "Shamu the Mysterious Whale: The Songs of U2".

Photo by: George

Tags: 2012(14) art is art(10) celebrities(69) music(26) our bands(9) politics(9)
Names Mentioned: art garfunkel(1) beatles(4) cheerios(1) creedence clearwater revival(1) elvis presley(1) frank sinatra(2) glen miller(2) jimmi hendrix(2) judy garland(1) larry craig(1) led zepplin(1) madonna(1) nine inch nails(2) nirvana(2) paul simon(2) queen(1) rem(1) shamu(1) simon & garfunkel(1) u2(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Horton Hears A Gremlin

Views: 172/7588
Added: 12/02/2009

In the early 2000's, George and Neal were hired by FOX studios to pitch movie ideas. Given their many adventures, you'd think they would have a wealth of ideas for hit movies. As it turns out, they did not. Instead, George and Neal decided to follow the example made by the immensely financially successful "Aliens Versus Predators (AVP)" (e.g. lazily combining two movie properties together rather than coming up with actual cogent ideas). Neal and George started combining movie properties in hopes of creating blockbusters. It worked - they made a fortune producing such memorable hits as "Horton Hears A Gremlin," "That was Then, This is Apocalypse Now!", "The Wizard of Blade Runner", and "Aliens versus Peanuts". Thereafter, they tried to branch out into making other types of movies, but had little success. After creating "The Entirely Ending Story", they called it a day.

 

Horton Hears A Gremlin - Though the movie holds an 86% on RottenTomatoes.com, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.

Though the movie holds an 86% on RottenTomatoes.com, the novelization is far superior, as it includes emotionally resonant subtext completely absent in the movie.

Photo by: Neal

 

Aliens versus Peanuts - The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

The kids made fun of Linus constantly, but at least the Great Pumpkin didn't have two sets of teeth and an appetite for human flesh.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2000s(2) art is art(10) mashups(12) movies(40) peanuts(6)
Names Mentioned: alien(2) alien vs predator(2) apocalypse now(1) blade runner(1) charlie brown(3) dr. seuss(2) fox(2) gremlins(1) horton hears a who(1) linus(1) neverending story(2) peanuts(1) rottontomatoes.com(1) that was then this is now(1) wizard of oz(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Welcome aboard Sam!

Views: 187/13986
Added: 09/09/2012

In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make pottery. So George signed him up for the Fall 1987 pottery classes at Sunny Caverns Park District (because the cost of pottery classes was cheaper back then). Sam proved to be an incredible talent and made some very life-like works out of clay. His finest moment came when he sculpted a very realistic baby duckling!

 

Welcome aboard Sam! - When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

When he was done it walked like a duck, swam like a duck, and quacked like a duck. Unfortunately it still broke like a ceramic pot.

Photo by: George

George's other son, Mike, entered the 2012 Olympics and took 1st place in the 100 meter dash, beating Usain Bolt by two whole strides! George was very proud that the boys got their looks from their mom, but inherited his ability to amaze.

 

Welcome aboard Mike! - And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!

And Mike even gave Usain Bolt a 10 meter head start!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) 2012(14) amazing abilities(16) art is art(10) celebrities(69) offspring(13) sports(23)
Names Mentioned: olympics(3) usain bolt(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)

 
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Need More Conventions!!!

Views: 184/8869
Added: 12/08/2013

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and Neal decided to found the first annual ComConCon. This convention was to promote awareness of other conventions. Participants were encouraged to come dressed as their favorite convention. For the first year Neal dressed as the Cleveland Comic, Card and Nostalgia Show and George dressed as Awesome Con DC. The annual ComConCons were a huge success until a small scandal in 2042 when the manager of long time ComConCon participant Illinois Government ComiCon, Ryan Hodge Blagokowski, was convicted of corruption and masterminding a scheme that hoodwinked millions of people out of hundreds of dollars (he claimed to be selling pre-release copies of the seventh book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, however he was taking the money and had no intention of ever delivering the books, much like Martin himself...). This grand scam was dubbed the ComConCon Con. After spending 13 years behind bars(with 'A Dream of Spring' still listed as 'forthcoming'), R.H. Blagokowski was forever referred to as 'The ComConCon Con Con'.

 

Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention. The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(44) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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