The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Pleasurebots: The Origin

Views: 227/6089
Added: 06/25/2009

2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to their wives during these long absences, George and Neal created "Pleasurebots" - robots that could *ahem* provide their wives with "tender services". George and Neal were extremely proud of the fact that the robots they created were just as competent lovers as they were. Julie and Clarissa were extremely depressed by this fact.

 

Pleasurebots: The Origin - The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

Photo by: Neal

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-Neal - Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Photo by: George

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-George - Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Photo by: George

Tags: 2011(8) clarissa(6) inventions(47) julie(5) origin(24) pleasurebot(3) robots(7) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (2), Neal (1)

 
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Them Amazing Ladies

Views: 222/4916
Added: 08/18/2009

In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ask Neal the opposite is true. This is a debate that will continue for centuries. In fact, college courses will be offered discussing the philosophies of both sides of the debate.

 

Them Amazing Ladies - What is nearly as amazing as these two women is the fact that they even agreed to marry George and Neal in the first place, and then managed to put up with them for years, and provide them with a continuation of their genetic lineage. George and Neal have no idea how lucky they are (well, maybe just a little).

What is nearly as amazing as these two women is the fact that they even agreed to marry George and Neal in the first place, and then managed to put up with them for years, and provide them with a continuation of their genetic lineage. George and Neal have no idea how lucky they are (well, maybe just a little).

Photo by: George

Tags: 2001(8) clarissa(6) competition(10) education(9) genetics(16) julie(5) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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GONADS

Views: 204/7793
Added: 10/04/2009

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(44) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(47) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece.

Views: 241/17912
Added: 10/20/2012

Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While the women were gone, George and Neal successfully fended for themselves and the kids, subsisting on a diet of ramen noodles and old fritos they found in couch cushions. Though neither George nor Neal nor the children changed their clothes during the entire time Clarissa and Julie were gone (7 days or 4,000 years depending on how you view time travel), the capable fathers made a game of it. Adin won 1st prize in "Who's That Smell?", an amateur game that George and Neal made up (which they later sold to the CNN network in 3014 - as at that time CNN ceased being a news network and reformed as a pornography / sitcom network). Meanwhile, Clarissa and Julie traveled to Ancient Greece, because Clarissa loves Greek food. Ironically, she felt that the food there didn't compare with the Greek food of 2012. Go figure. Upon their return, Julie and Clarissa refused to tell George and Neal what happened during their stay (because as we know, what happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece). Still, Julie and Clarissa must have had some trip, as now all depictions of the Greek Gods Hera and Aphrodite look exactly like them.

 

What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - This picture was the inspiration for both the 12 hour clock, and erotic cakes. I'm not really sure how that last one relates, but, eh, there you go.

This picture was the inspiration for both the 12 hour clock, and erotic cakes. I'm not really sure how that last one relates, but, eh, there you go.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2012(14) 3014(2) clarissa(6) food(45) games(15) george funk(11) gimme a break(5) julie(5) neal funk(18) offspring(13) time machine(37) tv shows(48) wives(15) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: aphrodite(1) cnn(2) greece(2) hera(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Lego Prison

Views: 648/13454
Added: 09/30/2013

In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly because Lego blocks hadn't been invented yet and no one saw any harm in it. Plus it was attached to a bill about Federal Water Pollution Control Act (which also had the effect of making it illegal for Neal to bathe, at least until the Clean Air Act was passed in 1963 and new techniques and technologies like aeration, flocculation, and active carbon adsorption enabled water filtration plants to sufficiently clean Neal's bath water). When they found out about this, George and Neal traveled to 1950 and convinced legislators to pass a bill to make it illegal to leave Legos lying on the floor, especially after dark. Their bill was easily passed into law because by that time enough people had stepped on Legos in their bare feet that it was deemed necessary to ensure the safety of US citizens. As a result of these two laws, Neal, George, Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla spent the rest of 2012 and most of 2013 in jail for committing the crimes they fought so hard to make illegal. Julie and Clarissa enjoyed the 18 month vacation from having to take care of three kids each.

During our incarceration we found one thing that hurts more than stepping on a Lego at night in bare feet; wiping with prison toilet paper...

 

Lego Prison - Jail time wasn't so bad for George.  He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.

Jail time wasn't so bad for George. He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1948(3) 1950(3) 2012(14) 2013(7) clarissa(6) julie(5) laws(10) neal funk(18) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) toys(3) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) lego(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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