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El Niño and La Niña

Views: 180/5277
Added: 03/01/2009

On a trip to northwestern Peru in 1923 George and Neal both befriended and eventually married the Lopez sisters. The sisters gave birth to two children, simply referred to as The Little Boy and The Little Girl, in Spanish, El Niño and La Niña. After Neal and George were required to return to their present timeline (the time travel device only lets them stay in one timeline for a maximum of 2 years), their children were, understandably, upset. By the time George and Neal could return to their Peruvian families the children had grown disruptive. While most children are prone to throw tantrums and act out, George and Neal's children are responsible for storms and other weather anomalies in the Pacific Ocean to this day.

Tags: 1923(1) offspring(13) south america(3) time machine(37) weather(7) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: pacific ocean(2) peru(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Neo-Geo Fanclub

Views: 181/4854
Added: 04/03/2009

In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of pulleys and levers connected to highly explosive nitroglycerin. This invention did nothing - except result in Neal and George both losing their eyebrows for a month. The invention was considered a failure by most of George and Neal's fans (who collectively form the fanclub Neo-Geo, not to be confused with the failed 1990s gaming system of the same name). It is considered a failure both as a result of the inventors' lack of foresight, as well as the fact that as of 2005 (when they did their experiment), accurate weather forecasting had existed for hundreds of years.

 

The Neo-Geo Fanclub - Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990s(3) 2005(2) failures(22) hair(11) inventions(48) organizations(15) video games(12) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer

Views: 764/5134
Added: 04/08/2009

680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmindedly left their Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer system behind when we were packing up to return home. Unfortunately he also left the lid open, causing a drastic decrease in the Earth's temperature. Earth slowly cooled to the point that it was entirely frozen. For over 30 Million years Earth was covered in a thick glacial layer of ice and snow, a period some scientists refer to as Snowball Earth. This frozen period in Earth's prehistory caused the delay of the development of multicellular life forms by 33,456,721 years, 6 months and 4 days (give or take a few weeks). So what is now 2009 AD should actually be the year 33,458,730 AD and human kind should have already evolved beyond the need for physical bodies, in fact far beyond what humans are even capable of fathoming. We can thank Neal for millions of years of setback.

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

Photo by: George

Tags: .680000000 bce(1) 2009(21) 33458730(1) evolution(5) oops(16) prehistoric(6) science(28) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: taylor wharton(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Jaguanst Causes Climate Change

Views: 172/12593
Added: 05/18/2009

In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was actually the consumption of carbonated beverages. Every can or bottle of jaguanst (that's soda or pop to you unenlightened ones) consumed by the world's population releases a small amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. All that fizz really adds up. As a result of the study world governments immediately banned all carbonated beverages, resulting in dramatic reductions in CO2 emissions around the globe. Subsequently, the drastic cooling effect caused the beginning of the next ice age by 2015.

Tags: 2012(14) 2015(9) food(45) government(16) jaguanst(8) science(28) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Get $245 Free (maybe)

Views: 130/4021
Added: 09/04/2009

In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunately the promises turned out to be big lies and the launch was a huge failure. I guess we shouldn't have had sayings like "Of course I'll call you tomorrow." or "No dear, that outfit does not make you look fat, I swear!" and "I will not raise taxes if I'm elected." DOVE canned us and two years later launched their successful line of chocolate Promises. We're now writing exclusively for the American Meteorological Society.

 

Get $245 Free (maybe) - Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)

Seriously. Send our adventures to all your friends. You'll either get the $245 or have fewer friends, we make no promises (oh, wait, that was the whole problem...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1989(3) business ventures(44) failures(22) food(45) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: american meteorological society(1) dove chocolate(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).

Views: 151/5982
Added: 01/29/2010

In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Both made the promise to their stations that within the first year they would be able to refine their techniques so that their forecasting would be 100% accurate. After significant analysis of sophisticated weather forecasting algorithms they both managed to make good on their promises; George by limiting his forecasts to only the current weather, Neal by only predicting the previous day's weather. They were still more accurate than any other meteorologist in history. Oddly enough, neither of them thought of using their time machine to visit the future to get their perfect predictions.

 

Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - Neal never took his meteorologist job seriously. This was one of the tamer weather systems he had fun with. You should see what he can do with a tropical depression.  Also note that Chicago will be moved and become the entire state of Ohio.

Neal never took his meteorologist job seriously. This was one of the tamer weather systems he had fun with. You should see what he can do with a tropical depression. Also note that Chicago will be moved and become the entire state of Ohio.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2023(2) chicago(10) phallus(8) time machine(37) tv shows(48) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) ohio(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Olympic Snowball

Views: 704/7038
Added: 08/09/2010

In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with the event (mainly because the IOC refused to acknowledge it and there were no other competitors in 2022 and only Ghana in 2026). Unfortunately by 2041 global warming had progressed to the point where holding Winter Olympics was pretty pointless (the 2040 Olympics were mainly a soggy, slushy mess), so 2044 marked the first ever Spring Olympics (since Winter as a season no longer existed anywhere on Earth except Detroit for some reason, but no one wanted to travel there). Instead of Bobsled there was the Mudslide, Speed Skating became Liquid Mountaineering (look it up), and Snowball Fights became The Mud Sling. Throwing mud rekindled George and Neal's interest in the Olympics (they quickly realized in 2023 that snowball fights were a bit immature) and George and Neal promptly joined the 2048 US Olympic Mud Slinging Team where they led the team to 18 consecutive Olympic Mud Slinging Gold Medals (including 48 of the 51 World Mudslinging Championships in non-Olympic years - The Republican and Democratic parties won the other three years).

 

Olympic Snowball - Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.

Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.

Photo by: George

 

Lose the loincloth please... - Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...

Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...

Photo by: George

Tags: 2022(4) 2023(2) 2026(2) 2040(4) 2041(2) 2044(1) 2056(2) awards and recognition(12) christian(8) neal's fashion sense(20) politics(9) sports(23) things neal eats(9) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: canada(4) china(3) democratic party(1) ghana(1) olympics(3) republican party(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (2)



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