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Dirk Diggler Ain't Got Nothin'

Entry Logged on: June 01, 2009 to Part 2 by: Neal
Page Views: 231 - Times Displayed: 6365

In 1991, Neal and George were beaten up by "Marky Mark" Wahlberg and 1 member of his Funky Bunch (specifically, Hector the Bootie Inspector). After knocking Neal and George unconscious, Marky and Hector took their clothes. On the plus side, Neal's tremendous *ahem* character inspired Mark Walhberg's character, Dirk Diggler, in the movie Boogie Nights. George also inspired Mark Wahlberg's character in his forthcoming movie, Little People, because all people look little compared to George.

Tags: 1991(3) celebrities(69) movies(40) music(26) phallus(8)
Names Mentioned: boogie nights(1) dirk diggler(1) hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1) mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: boogie nights(1), dirk diggler(1), hector barros (hector the booty inspector)(1), mark wahlberg (marky mark)(1)

Tags:
  • 1991 - (2 Other Entries)
    • Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless - In 1991, Neal organized a protest against brutality toward unicorns called Beating Unicorns is Totally Tasteless, or B.U.T.T. Decades later, George in...
    • Saved By The 1-Up - In 1991 Neal was found dead after a long session of Bad Dudes, however he luckily received a 1-Up just before perishing and was able to be revived by ...
  • celebrities - (68 Other Entries)
    • Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
    • KISS - George and Neal were once part of the rock band KISS, but left the band in 1974 because they didn't think makeup of a raccoon and chimp respectively w...
    • Lady Gaga vs P!nk - In 2011 the debate over which female music artist was the craziest resulted in a UFC cage match between Lady Gaga and P!nk. The match lasted 12 hours ...
    • Bob Ross: The Origin - In 1968 George and Neal trained a kitten to paint. That kitten in turn trained Bob Ross to paint. Bob Ross in turn taught countless of people to paint...
    • Basic Instinct - George was the prime candidate for the Sharon Stone role in Basic Instinct. When George passed on the role, due only to the fact that taking the role ...
    • Show All...
  • movies - (39 Other Entries)
    • Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
    • Two Seamstresses, One Thimble - In 1878, Eadweard Muybridge created what was essentially the world's first "motion picture." Later that year, Neal and George created the first viral ...
    • 3014 Was Weird - In 3014, feeling melancholy as a result of a worldwide illness that removed the human eye's ability to detect a significant amount of electromagnetic ...
    • George & Neal's Excellent Adventure - In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, ...
    • Hungry Eyes - In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was ini...
    • Show All...
  • music - (25 Other Entries)
    • Hair, Inc. - In 1964 George and Neal started their niche business "Hair, Inc." in which they supplied the hair for your favorite rock stars and other celebrities. ...
    • Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
    • Johnson & Johnson's in Rock & Roll - During their chronal adventures, Neal and George discovered a deep, dark secret of the music industry. Apparently for years the Johnson & Johnson com...
    • 2008 Election Campaigns - During the 2008 election season, George and Neal were hired by Barack Obama's marketing team to come up with catchy ditties about the man. After writi...
    • I Had Another Dream - In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin w...
    • Show All...
  • phallus - (7 Other Entries)
    • Geal - In 1955, a small village in Transylvania attempted to assassinate George and Neal for inventing Pig Latin. All attempts were unsuccessful, in part bec...
    • Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
    • To boldly go... - Unbeknownst to most people, the original Star Trek series was actually a documentary series about George and Neal's adventures. Captain Kirk and his ...
    • Neal Simon's Manhood - Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) th...
    • There is No Zero! - In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has bee...
    • Show All...
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Other Posts:

  • Golden Spleens - In 4539 George and Neal decided to dabble in alchemy and turned themselves into golden statues. Luckily the effects were only temporary and by 5935 t...
  • I Dare You! - On September 6, 2010, George and Neal initiated a series of dares, each more shocking than the last. It started innocently enough, when George dared N...
  • Everything is About George - After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the begin...
  • Sciuridaetopian National Independent Commando Killing Elite Reactionary Squirrel Team - In 1994 George and Neal prevented a hostile takeover of the US by an army of chainsaw wielding raccoons (yes, again). Luckily our nail gun firing squi...
  • Emoticlish - Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to i...


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