'2019' Tagged Entries
View All Tags
4 Entries on This Page
4 Tagged Entries
In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swirled around baby Jesus and the animals. But when our Chinese manufacturer shipped the snow globes to us everything was perfect (well, baby Jesus was replaced by a frog, but hey, whatever sells), until the music started with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!". But they sold really, really well! Even better than our "Oh Holy Night" whoopee cushions.
It was an honest mistake since the snow globe doubled as a wine stopper and came with a bottle of Three Dog's Mighty Fine wine.
Photo by: George
Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no food critics willing to give any positive reviews to restaurants. Every review contained only scathing passages intended to make the restaurateur weep openly and question his or her life choices. For example, one restaurant (coincidentally, owned by George) was hit with this review: "I would have given it zero stars, but I refused to use the word "star" in this review for fear there was a scintilla suggesting anything redeeming about the food, atmosphere, or even oxygen found within this establishment."
Ouch. To combat this level of negativity, that same year George and Neal began reviewing restaurants, choosing only to give positive reviews. Quote Neal, "You can find the good in anything, if you look hard enough." By way of proof, see George and Neal's review of Bits 'O Mostly Chicken Restaurant ("The food was edible"); Oscar's Stench Hut ("The server gave me food while I was there"); M.C. Hammer's Chow House ("I appreciated that they did not lock the bathroom when I got food poisoning, and the hospital they directed me to was quite serviceable"); and I Made It Out Of Clay: A Unique Israeli Restaurant Experience ("The food was dry and ready.")
February 2019 marks the 10th anniversary of the Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
....well, February 2019 did originally. Then George took the chronicles to 1009 a.d., to let the masses enjoy such a good saga. He was praised so much there/then, that he decided to continue writing it from that point on, now making February 2019 the 1,020 year anniversary.
....well, February 2019 did at that point. Then Neal took the chronicles back to 75 B.C.....
In August 2019 the popular hobby website Board Game Geek changed their logo from the lovable, cuddly geek to a strange, orange, amorphous blob (apparently following the trend set by the country three years earlier). George and Neal capitalized on the success and overwhelming adoration of the site's fans to redesign logos for a bunch of other major corporations. Their design skill was very quickly in demand and corporate logos have never been less descriptive or memorable since!
Mostly, George and Neal's design skills were in demand before anyone knew how much they sucked at designing logos.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.