The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Entries From Tuesday, September 24, 2013

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2 Entries on This Page

 

In 2013, Neal introduced George to the role-playing game, Dungeons and Dragons. George thought it was fantastic, as it blended his love of story telling, games, and sexy goblins. However, both Neal and George found the game's storylines much too violent for their children. Wanting to include the kids in the fun, George and Neal went back to 1974 to convince D&D creator Gary Gygax to ditch the game's dark fantasy aspect and make the game more family friendly. Gary refused, and then tried to hit them with a gigantic mace. (Luckily he only rolled a 4, so he missed.)

Undeterred, George and Neal implored Gary to reconsider. Using his Charisma Attributes of +25, George skillfully managed to get Gary to change his mind. Plans for Advanced Dungeons and Dragons were scrapped, and instead Gary released Advanced Zoos and Farm Animals.

The game had its share of problems. Sure, it was family friendly, but the stories were far less compelling, and over very quickly. Here is a snippet from one recently played game:

Zoo-Master: "You are in a zoo."

Player #1: "Walk North."

Zoo-Master: "You walk North. You find yourself in front of a porcupine cage. What do you do?"

Player #2: "Attack porcupine."

Zoo-Master: "You attack the porcupine. You have been forcibly removed from the zoo. We hope you enjoyed playing Advanced Zoos and Farm Animals."

Sales were disastrous, eclipsed even by the 1982 E.T. Atari video game. George and Neal both hope the upcoming 2015 movie adaption starring Pauly Shore fares better.

 

In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras are extremely rare and endangered because of all the illegal hunting that goes on to support western culture's obsession with making these beautiful animals into clothing, bedding, iPhone covers, car seats, etc. In the 2000s George and Neal started conservation efforts and captive breeding programs in an attempt to reintroduce large herds of Rosea Zebra to the wild. Unfortunately the revitalization of Pink Zebra populations also resulted in the resurgence of Pink Zebra print fashions. But you won't find any Pink Zebra print stuff in either of our households. We prefer beaver felt hats and whale blubber reading lamps.

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