Entries From Monday, August 09, 2010
4 Entries on This Page
In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and complex hoax (okay, so it wasn't that complex, since Neal just held up his hand and claimed to be holding something invisible).
Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)
Photo by: Neal
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Photos by: Neal
In 1975 a hiccup in the Teleportation Device George and Neal use to travel instantaneously across huge distances caused them to swap realities with alternate versions of themselves that came from a parallel universe where everyone has what we would call in this reality, "SUPER POWERS" (yes, in all caps). Shortly after arriving in this reality the SUPER George and Neal realized that they were the only ones in this reality with their special powers. They quickly turned to a life of heroic deeds, saving humanity from many disasters, criminals, and accidents. Meanwhile, in the alternate SUPER reality, normal George and Neal were soon discovered to lack the ability to fly, leap over tall buildings in a single bound, or catch a speeding bullet in their teeth (although that last one was luckily never tested since in the SUPER reality bullets are useless and thus guns were never invented). Initially George and Neal were ridiculed and abused, then later pitied and became the beneficiaries of several humanitarian charities. Scientists researched them, tested them, and probed them mercilessly. Until late in 1977, when George had finally had enough. He left the confines of the research facility and searched for a useful role in society. He was amazed to find out that despite all their SUPER abilities, the residents of the SUPER reality lacked some very basic skills. So George forged a new identity, saving the SUPER citizens from environmental and financial disaster. George became "Bicycle Repair Man!", fixing the basic mode of transportation for all the SUPER beings. (You see, since they were SUPER strong and SUPER fast the inhabitants of the SUPER reality never had the need to invent automobiles. They could pedal anywhere as fast as they wanted. However their lack of bicycle repair skills meant they never fixed their bicycles when they broke. Instead they would toss them in the nearest landfill and purchase another new bike, resulting in thousands and thousands of square miles of nothing but bicycle junkyards - providing plenty of usable parts for George, the Bicycle Repair Man!) Neal, on the other hand, kind of enjoyed the scientific probes and remained in the research facility until 1984 when an unusually active burst of sunspots caused the rift in the reality matrix to fix itself and sent SUPER George and Neal back to their own reality and returned normal George and Neal to this reality.
SUPER George working his day job as a pizza delivery man. He saved thousands from hunger by delivering pizza to the bad neighborhoods that other pizza delivery guys were afraid to traverse. Just one of SUPER George's many heroic deeds during his tenure in this reality.
Photo by: George
After a heated debate with his wife where she stated, "Everything is not always about you, George!", George went back in time (just prior to the beginning of that conversation), and invented a ray that temporarily made it so that anything and everything that anyone talked about was all about George. Luckily, the effects wore off, but not without any consequences; there was one side effect - it turns out that prior to that moment, the name George had never existed, and the ray caused people to believe many of their important historical icons were named George. For example, George Washington was originally named "Melvin Washington"; George Takei was (coincidentally) named "Sulu Takei"; and George Jaros was originally "Bagrat Jaros".
In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can be very persuasive) Snowball Fights became an Olympic sport. USA won the first two Olympics with the event (mainly because the IOC refused to acknowledge it and there were no other competitors in 2022 and only Ghana in 2026). Unfortunately by 2041 global warming had progressed to the point where holding Winter Olympics was pretty pointless (the 2040 Olympics were mainly a soggy, slushy mess), so 2044 marked the first ever Spring Olympics (since Winter as a season no longer existed anywhere on Earth except Detroit for some reason, but no one wanted to travel there). Instead of Bobsled there was the Mudslide, Speed Skating became Liquid Mountaineering (look it up), and Snowball Fights became The Mud Sling. Throwing mud rekindled George and Neal's interest in the Olympics (they quickly realized in 2023 that snowball fights were a bit immature) and George and Neal promptly joined the 2048 US Olympic Mud Slinging Team where they led the team to 18 consecutive Olympic Mud Slinging Gold Medals (including 48 of the 51 World Mudslinging Championships in non-Olympic years - The Republican and Democratic parties won the other three years).
Members of the 2030 Canadian Snowball Team deftly dodging a barrage of snow from the signature move, Holy White Fury, of the Vatican team.
Photo by: George
Neal preparing to sling a whopper at Flu Pou Tou Eue, the captain of the Chinese team, in 2056. Neal claimed the extra weight gave him an advantage, but we think he just liked eating too much mud. And he never had an excuse for the loincloth...
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.