The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 1937 George and Neal, while experimenting with a new potato gun in the central Pacific, accidentally shot down Amelia Earhart's airplane. They were able to rescue her from the wreckage and she ended up staying on the island with them for quite a while. After initial reservations, she finally gave in to Neal's romantic advances. Unsatisfied, she gave up on Neal and tried to seduce George. It was at this point that George and Neal decided to ask Amelia to join their super secret society of vanished celebrities. To date the super secret society consists of Amelia Earhart, Andy Kaufman, Elvis, Tupac Shakur, Notorious B.I.G., Stephen Foster, Hitler, Jimmy Hoffa, Bono, Sonny Bono, the original Cher, Kurt Cobain, Al Capone, Jim Morrison, Benjamin Franklin, Nikola Tesla, Jake the Snake Roberts, Atilla the Hun, Ludwig von Beethoven, Beavis & Butthead, Cleopatra, Shelley Long, Bronson Pinchot, William Hung, Jaleel White, Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem, James Dean, Glen Miller, Marcus Schrenker, and the Fraggles. The plan is to bring everyone back in 2064 for a Vanished Celebrity Vaudeville Variety Hour world tour. Amelia will be doing her amazing basketball spinning trick.

 

Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).

Many of the musicians they befriended wrote songs about George and Neal, though this is not commonly known. For example:

- Metallica's "Enter Sandman" was about the time George baby-sat James Hetfield, and sang him soothing lullabies. (Circa 1988).

- Prince's "When Doves Cry" was about the time Neal and Prince were playing basketball and Neal tripped on a bird. (Circa 1981)

- Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" was about the time George accidentally switched Frankie's eye drops with superglue. (Circa 1942)

- The Kingston Trio's "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" is about the time Neal dated Dave Guard's mom, and being short on cash, Neal picked all the flowers from Guard's backyard to give to his mother. (Circa 1941)

- The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" is about the time George taught Brian Wilson's high school science class, and hit water with a vibrating tuning fork. (Circa 1958)

- Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is about the time Neal babysat a 9 year old Kurt Cobain. That day, Kurt discovered Neal's odd choice of deodorant. (Circa 1976)

- Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall"? All about the time George and Neal hired a young Roger Waters to assist in their short-lived construction business providing homes for the poor and evil (known as Habitat for Inhumanity). (Circa 1963)

Officially, George and Neal can both say, "We liked them before they were cool."

Officially, the rest of the world can secretly desire to punch them both in the face.

 

Jealous that the fictitious time travelers, Bill and Ted, got to meet and bring historical figures to their timelines, George and Neal decided to one-up them. They created an entire high school, populating the student body with hundreds of "borrowed" historical figures, both past and future. As one could imagine, the high school dominated many categories of competition, such as debate (the Socrates / Mr. T team cleaning up at every conference, typically employing "the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing, fool!") and drama (Shakespeare's reboot, The Taming of the Shrek was surprisingly transcendent). However, Neal's lack of knowledge all things sports did hinder the school, as having famous painters Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael on the football team did not play out nearly as well as he thought it would.

It was a crazy four years. George was voted "most likely to continue to be a guy named George." It was the highest honor he had ever received.

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