The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In an effort to unify religions, George and Neal combined Easter and Yom Kippur, (known as "EastKippur"). Unfortunately, this resulted in a cruel irony wherein children are surrounded by chocolate rabbits but denied the opportunity to eat them.

 

A second attempt to unite the religious holidays of Samhain and Zarathosht Diso was equally disastrous since neither of them was Wiccan or Zoroastrian.

 

Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice President of the United States. Before the mistake was corrected, George and Neal passed a series of laws that, in 1943, made little sense and were ignored. In 2008, Neal and George were paid a check for multiple millions of dollars as a result of the 1943 "Human Fund" Act. Also, January 31st was proclaimed a national holiday ("Neal Simon Kickass Day") as was April 4 ("Smell Like George Day").

 

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose to swell up like a big red balloon. Ever the helpful friend, George took Neal back in time (circa 1938) to a special doctor that he heard could help - Dr. Robert L. May. Unfortunately, Dr. May had been down on his luck financially, and after assisting Neal, the good doctor decided to profit from the situation by writing the story, "Neal, the Red Nosed Ignoramus". Later drafts altered the story such that Neal was a Reindeer named Rudolph. The remainder of the story continued to be a surprisingly accurate account of what happened to Neal that year.

 

In 2012 George and Neal began marketing their line of 2012 Advent Calendars. They were inspired by the Mayan calendar, so they only went up to the 21st of December.

 

In 2069 George and Neal wrote a musical, called "Home to Where the Sun Rises". The smash hit spent four years on Broadway before touring the world. As of 2162 it has sold out more shows than "Cats", "Phantom", "Les Mis", "Gigli on Broadway", and "Spamalot" combined and is the longest continuously running musical in history and the only musical to still feature the original cast (thank the time machine for that). The show is an uplifting story set around the holidays and features a multitude of wonderful songs from several traditional cultural and religious backgrounds. Here are a few verses from the multiple award winning "Rising Sun Megamix" hit song from the soundtrack:

There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by

Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel
I made it out of clay
And when it's dry and ready
Then dreidel I shall play!

Oh, did we mention that the entire musical is set to the traditional folk tune, "House of the Rising Sun"? Go ahead, sing a few verses, you're guaranteed to love it, or your money back!

 

In 2019 George and Neal made a fortune by selling Christmas snow globes. It was all an accident, really. We thought we had this great idea to make Christmas snow globes that featured a nativity scene and played "Joy to the World" while the snow swirled around baby Jesus and the animals. But when our Chinese manufacturer shipped the snow globes to us everything was perfect (well, baby Jesus was replaced by a frog, but hey, whatever sells), until the music started with "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!". But they sold really, really well! Even better than our "Oh Holy Night" whoopee cushions.

 

Wanting to "shake things up" for the next Hanukah, in 2013 Neal invented "Tleg", the exact opposite of Gelt - chocolate on the outside, gold foil on the inside. It was as good one would expect.

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