The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power

Views: 261/6145
Added: 03/16/2009

In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has been sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth ever since. On the plus side, George realized he could use Neal's constant rocking as an alternate source of energy. Now the nation's reliance on oil has abated. Its reliance on "Neal Power", however, has grown exponentially. George has become the nation's largest supplier of "Neal Power", although not everyone rocking back and forth after watching Meet the Feebles is named Neal. The cost of producing "Neal Power" generators was drastically reduced in 2000 when George invested in purchasing a copy of the movie on VHS for $14.95 instead of having to rent the video for $3.00 every time he wanted to build more power generators. Since 2000 George has converted numerous poor souls to "Neal Power" generators, including his poor wife (sorry honey!). To the Spice Girls dismay, the nation still has no interest in fueling things using sassy "Girl Power". The Power Rangers have no opinion on this.

 

Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is powered by people viewing this still from "Meet the Feebles". Thanks for doing your part to keep our site running.

The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is powered by people viewing this still from "Meet the Feebles". Thanks for doing your part to keep our site running.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1998(9) celebrities(69) energy(6) inventions(48) meet the feebles(1) mental trauma(8)
Names Mentioned: meet the feebles(1) peter jackson(1) power rangers(1) spice girls(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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After-School Specials

Views: 202/3995
Added: 05/01/2009

In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (and still be traumatized by) their shows, including the safety episode, "Where did my thumb go?: Little Sammy's Shop Class Adventure"; the puberty/safe-sex episode "What's Growin' On You Could Kill You If You Use It Wrong"; the stranger-danger episode, "The Man Asking You to Sit on His Lap and Asking You To Whisper What You Want Is Not Really Santa Claus"; and the anti-drug episode, "Cocaine Will Prevent You From Success, the George W. Bush Story" (who knew in the 80's?). Surprisingly, it took three years before they were fired for their incompetence - heck, before they were fired, they even aired the confusing and long-titled episode "Don't Trust What TV Tells You To Do Except For This Show In Which Case You Should Trust It Entirely Because We Are Always Right And Have the Right To Tell You How To Live Your Life, And Hey, If We Don't Tell You To Brush Your Teeth And Stop Picking On Kids In Glasses How Will You Ever Learn These Lessons?".

Tags: 1980s(7) education(9) george w. bush(5) mental trauma(8) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: abc(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Aging gracefully...

Views: 149/3900
Added: 05/11/2009

Although principles of space-time restrict George and Neal from interacting with their older or younger selves (without proper precautions there is a high risk of imploding the universe - also, doing so causes all baked goods to smell like old cheese for some reason), Neal and George decided, what the hey, let's see what we're like as old men. George fortunately found out that he seemed to have discovered an elixir that caused him to age in reverse a la Benjamin Button. Here is George at age 160:

 

Aging gracefully... - He'd as soon kill you as look at you.

He'd as soon kill you as look at you.

Photo by: Neal

Neal, on the other hand, immediately suffered a minor heart attack and still suffers from what is likely a form of post traumatic stress disorder upon discovering what he'd look like later in life:

 

Aging ungracefully... - Neal at the ripe old age of 40.

Neal at the ripe old age of 40.

Photo by: Neal

And that's just age 40.

Tags: aging(2) mental trauma(8) movies(40) paradox(1) science(28)
Names Mentioned: benjamin button(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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There's Waldo!!!

Views: 152/6387
Added: 09/04/2009

In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakdown, George decided to help his friend, as well as the public at large, by publishing "There's Waldo, Right Freakin' There". It became an overnight sensation, quickly selling out multiple editions and translated into 58 languages (Though, other than the title, there wasn't much to translate). George and Neal are set to publish their next traumatic/educational book, "Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego?"

 

There's Waldo!!! - Even so, it took Neal about 35 minutes to find Waldo.

Even so, it took Neal about 35 minutes to find Waldo.

Photo by: Neal

 

Where in the Morgue is Carmen Sandiego? - Described as "more disturbing than Hostel 2", this game was banned in most language-speaking countries. Despite this, George and Neal have decided to continue working on their next project, "The Magic School Bus: Field Trip to the Abattoir".

Described as "more disturbing than Hostel 2", this game was banned in most language-speaking countries. Despite this, George and Neal have decided to continue working on their next project, "The Magic School Bus: Field Trip to the Abattoir".

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1998(9) education(9) games(15) languages(11) mental trauma(8) publications(14) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: the magic school bus(1) where in the world is carmen sandiego(1) where's waldo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Yes, they really said that.

Views: 241/11714
Added: 11/30/2013

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

 

Yes, they really said that. - Volume 1 had over 1000 pages.  Volume 2 had 1200 pages.  Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages.  Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Volume 1 had over 1000 pages. Volume 2 had 1200 pages. Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages. Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2024(1) bette midler(4) cool(3) einstein(3) in good company(6) Inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) people of history(33) publications(14) revenge(6) rip-offs(3) rock stars(3) success!(13) time machine(37) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) alan alda(1) albert einstein(3) bette midler(5) bob dylan(1) camille paglia(1) carl sagan(1) cleopatra(2) colonel sanders(1) dom deluise(1) gandhi(1) george a. custer(1) j. s. bach(1) joan of ard(1) napoleon bonaparte(1) ozzy osborne(1) queen elizabeth ii(1) salvador dali(1) steven king(1) william wallace(1) wolfgang amadeus mozart(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Views: 292/7939
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(44) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(48) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The Wilhelm Scream and Other Sounds

Views: 332/11749
Added: 04/24/2014

The Wilhelm Scream is pretty well known for being a sound effect used in many, many movies. What is less well known is that George and Neal also provided sound effects that have been used in numerous movies, too. George made the original Jaros Yodel and Neal made the sounds for the Simon Whimper.

 


Listen to and download:
The Jaros Yodel.

The Simon Whimper.

Tags: amazing abilities(16) get aural(2) great music(4) in good company(6) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) movies(40) music(26) sounds our bodies can make(1) turn it up and rock out(1) tv shows(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: wilhelm scream(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested)

Views: 107/2595
Added: 05/26/2016

In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu and screaming "I LOVED YOU IN BEING JOHN MALKOVICH!" was the final straw - on a side note, Neal's constant mention of that film is what made John decide to take the roll of Craig Schwartz 10 years later). Cusack ended up body slamming Neal just minutes before filming the iconic radio scene. If you look closely in that scene you can see Neal's foot twitching in the bottom right corner of the frame.

 

Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.

Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1988(6) 1998(9) celebrities(69) forget this ever happened(9) groin kick(3) in your eyes(1) inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) neal(3) nightmares(2) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: Ann Cusack(1) john cusack(1) john malkovich(1) say anything(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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