'bette midler' Tagged Entries
View All Tags
5 Entries on This Page
5 Tagged Entries
In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, who religiously checks these updates for some reason. Damn you, Midler!
Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!
Photo by: George
At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! (Besides Bette Midler that is). At 12:57am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George decided it didn't matter and added some information about the kitten that taught Bob Ross how to paint.
In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:
"Boy, I feel kind of bloated today." Carl Sagan
"What a weird day." Steven King
"Who ate all my nachos?" Camille Paglia
"My feet stink." Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
"I should have just stayed in bed today." Napoleon Bonaparte
"I wonder what George and Neal are up to. Maybe I can steal some of their ideas!" Bette Midler
"Man...I could really go for some Arby's." Gandhi
"This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!" George A. Custer
"I've fallen and I can't get up!" George A. Custer (a few minutes later)
"That was a great play!" Abraham Lincoln
"Shhhh, did you hear that?" J. S. Bach
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." Colonel Sanders
"Someone get me a mirror and a hairbrush, please." Albert Einstein
"Not tonight, I have a headache." Salvador Dali
"Mufwa ad mub wum afwormin dut." Ozzy Ozborne
"Meh weema ehs meh leef min." Bob Dylan
"Today's shaping up to be a movies and PJs day." Queen Elizabeth II
"That was a two flusher if I've ever seen one." Alan Alda
"Hey you, get out of my closet!" Joan of Arc
"They may take our cullen skink, but they'll never take our haggis!" William Wallace
"Does this nemes make me look fat?" Cleopatra
"Does this baseball cap make me look fat?" Dom Deluise
Volume 1 had over 1000 pages. Volume 2 had 1200 pages. Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages. Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.
Photo by: George
In 2015, tired of hearing all about his father's "great adventures" with George, Adin decided to put a stop to it (and have some fun in the process). At first, he went back in time to 1996, causing George to befriend him instead of Neal. The resulting time shift caused "The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!" to become "The Tremendous Story of George and Adin's Adventures Through Chronology and Cosmos (and Yogurt)!" You may remember this period (but probably don't), in which Adin and George created Bin-opoly, established Oybay, and Adin created the TV show, "The A-Word" (which fared only slightly better than Neal's show). In this timeline, Bette Midler showed little interest in George and Adin for some reason, causing most Georginealogists to believe her obsession was primarily with Neal. (Perhaps it was due to Neal's jaw-droppingly, achingly gorgeous rendition of Wind Beneath My Wings, often performed in a chicken suit, which for some reason did not detract from the performance. But I digress...)
Shortly after Adin "revised" the timeline (though shortly is relative; this timeline existed for thousands of years, looped back in on itself like a Moebius strip in 8034, and replayed itself twice more, until moments after Adin "revised" the timeline the third time), Sam, tired of hearing all about his father's "great adventures" with Adin, went back in time to 1996, causing Adin to befriend him instead of George. The resulting time shift caused "The Tremendous Story of George and Adin's Adventures Through Chronology and Cosmos (and Yogurt)!" to become "The Explosive Tale of Sam and Adin's Adventures Through The Chronosphere and Atmosphere (and Creamed Corn)!" This timeline saw such amazing events as Sam besting Martha Stewart in hand-to-hand combat, Adin and Sam ending worldwide tortoise hunger (meaning, they fed all the tortoises to hungry people), and fending off the 2054 robot invasion that Neal and George failed to prevent in previous timelines. It also saw Ayla and Mike refusing to let their siblings have all the fun. Many found "The Fantastic Account of Adin, Mike, Ayla, and Sam's Escapades Through The Eras and the Infinite (and Hollandaise Sauce)!" to be the golden age of all the timelines. [Editor's note: in this timeline, George Neal did not exist; however unlike other timelines, MASA replaced NASA in this timeline. It was not a space program but rather a cute bed and breakfast with the initials of all four children. Which they then turned into a rocket.]
Above: 804th Edition (due to constantly shifting timelines).
Photo by: Neal
Entry Logged By:
- Photos by: Neal
On April 25, 2014 Bette Midler was finally successful in her dastardly plot to capture Neal and George. Using a baked lasagna she was able to lure them into her trap (truthfully they suspected a trap all along, but thought it was for Garfield and wanted that lasagna before the fat cat arrived). For over 20 months the fearless explorers were trapped in stasis pods and subjected to Midler's mind probes. Finally, on December 31, 2015 George and Neal were heroically rescued by their future selves (from all the way on January 1, 2016). And once again, all was right in the world. Celebration and parties ensued throughout the galaxy until the stroke of midnight (Central Standard Time) when George and Neal actually became their future selves and had to leave the party early to go rescue themselves. I'd explain further, but it just gets more confusing. Hey look, a lasagna!
Luckily George and Neal were rescued by George and Neal before their fate was the same as the poor saps in the other stasis pods. Neal wasn't frightened by that though, it was Bette's prancing that worried him.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.