The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!
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Restraining Orders Suck
Entry Logged on: January 29, 2010 to Part 3 by: NealPage Views: 347 - Times Displayed: 11274
Between 2056 and 2058, George and Neal had little contact, due to a government-sought restraining order. During those years, Awesomeness!™ was outlawed; so, to eliminate as much Awesomeness!™ as possible, George and Neal were ordered to keep away from one another (except for that brief period in 2058 when they secretly invented the edible harmonica under cover of the darkest night). In 2059, Awesomeness!™ was reinstated, and George and Neal were allowed to continue their adventures. They reconnected during 2059... Well, in actual fact, for them it was 2059, but they really reconnected during 424 BCE, in Ancient Persia. At that time, George and Neal started a business selling camels to the citizens of Persia (which were used in combat because of the camels' natural ability to scare off horses in close ranges, a quality famously employed by the Achaemenid Persians when fighting Lydia... See? Education is fun!). George and Neal were known for selling camels with enhanced feet and toes, which assisted the camels during their long and sometimes treacherous travel. You can still purchase your own enhanced camel, provided you, too, have a time machine and can find George and Neal's shop, "Freaky Deaky Camels". (Not the best name for a shop, but much better than Neal's suggestion, "Hey, Look at all my Camel Toes!" and George's suggestion, "My Friend Neal Has Camel Toes".)
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.424 bce(1)
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animals(17)
business ventures(46)
education(9)
food(45)
gimme a break(5)
government(16)
laws(10)
mashups(12)
music(26)
people of history(33)
time machine(37)
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Neal
<< Previous Saga Entry
(Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).) Next Saga Entry >>
(Snoutbook)
(Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing).) Next Saga Entry >>
(Snoutbook)
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- .424 bce - (No Other Entries)
- 2056 - (1 Other Entry)
- Olympic Snowball - In 2022, at George and Neal's insistence (ok, it was actually persistence - we agreed to finally stop whining about it if the IOC included it - we can...
- 2058 - (1 Other Entry)
- Marshmonica as Endorsed by John Popper - Dateline, 2058: In an effort to feed as well as entertain the homeless, George and Neal invented the first edible harmonica. Much to George's dismay, ...
- 2059 - (2 Other Entries)
- We'll never learn... - In 2059, George and Neal did some other awesome stuff, and one thing they are both not very proud of. It involved a tray of ice, a can of motor oil, a...
- 1 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- animals - (16 Other Entries)
- What's a Typewriter? - In 2025 George and Neal received a grant from the US government to study the long held belief that if you give a billion monkeys a billion typewriters...
- The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their di...
- Snoutbook - In the latter half of the middle third of the eighth month of 2010 George and Neal started a new social networking site dedicated solely to the most t...
- Save the Dinosaurs - 65 million years ago George and Neal used their teleportation device to rescue countless dinosaurs from impending doom when a comet was about to crash...
- When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, ...
- Show All...
- business ventures - (45 Other Entries)
- George Takes a Break - In April, 2016 George got tired of the whole ninja fighting and history manipulating thing. He decided to try something more relaxing and opened the M...
- Couch Potatoes Illustrated - Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magaz...
- Get $245 Free (maybe) - In 1989 George and Neal were instrumental in the launch of the new chocolate DOVE Promises. Each wrapper featured an inspirational promise. Unfortunat...
- Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch - In 2000 George and Neal traveled to Africa and met Mr. Fred Abeku, the present branch Manager of Metropolitan & Allied Bank [GH] Ltd. Nima Branch, opp...
- This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort...
- Show All...
- education - (8 Other Entries)
- Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution - In 1981 George founded the Midwest University of Trickery in Elocution (M.U.T.E.); the most prestigious school of ventriloquism, and the only one to o...
- There's Waldo!!! - In 1998, Neal became overwhelmingly frustrated when he tried to crack the mysteries of the complex literary tome, "Where's Waldo?" After a near-breakd...
- President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up...
- After-School Specials - In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (...
- Them Amazing Ladies - In 2001 George married the most incredible woman ever to live, past, present, and future, leaving Neal to settle for the second best, although if you ...
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- food - (44 Other Entries)
- Neal's On Wheels - (Ahem). In 2040, Neal offered a new service to the general public, wherein he would transport people on his back while riding on roller skates. He cal...
- Jaguanst Causes Climate Change - In a landmark, decade long study that George and Neal published the results of in 2012, it was discovered that the biggest cause of global warming was...
- Broccloaf - In 1993, George won rave reviews with food critics across the nation (though mostly in southern New Jersey) when he created a tasty new meatloaf. Not ...
- What happens in Ancient Greece stays in Ancient Greece. - Tired of caring for three children (yes, George, that includes you), Julie recruited Clarissa to go on a time traveling "ladies only" vacation. While...
- Jerry Falwell's 65th Birthday Party - Riding the success of their 1992 appearance in Under Siege, George and Neal opened a cake delivery business called "Under Siege 2: Dark (Chocolate) Te...
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- gimme a break - (4 Other Entries)
- Zoo Trip Time Machine - In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done t...
- Family Week - In September 2012 George took a short break from time travelling, changing history, and altering the laws of physics to spend some more time with his ...
- 2 Already Displayed with Another Tag
- government - (15 Other Entries)
- We the Bad-Ass Americans - George and Neal went on a vacation/bender in 1776 (again with the time machine). Luckily, though wackiness ensued, nothing was altered in our time-lin...
- Religious iDeals - In an effort to avoid paying taxes on his massive fortune, in 1935, Neal established the first truly secular religion, Nealism. Honoring the tenets of...
- Constitutionally Safe - A 1934 proposed amendment to the Constitution would have prevented George and Neal from having anything to do with interfering in global events again....
- P & VP - Through a series of mishaps and mistaken identities, for a three-day period in 1943 George and Neal assumed the position of President and Vice Preside...
- Jaros/Simon 2016 vs Simon/Jaros 2016 - Exhausted with the mean-spirited nature of recent presidential elections as well as the inability of presidents to follow through on campaign promises...
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- laws - (9 Other Entries)
- Lego Prison - In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators t...
- Measure Your Spaghetti - In 2018 George and Neal were invited to appear before the entire US Government to talk about their accomplishments. The talk started out normal enough...
- Metric Woes - Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring ...
- Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System - In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventuall...
- 5 Already Displayed with Another Tag
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- mashups - (11 Other Entries)
- Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce - In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superio...
- Fun With Genetics - Neal does not like the taste of fish. In 2000, George decided to help out Neal by playing around with genetics to create the first fish that tasted li...
- Different Strokes of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Given the success of the novel (and soon to be movie) Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (a mashup story combining Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel Pride...
- Sock Film Classics - Thelma and Louise - After the success of placing themselves into the roles of classic sitcom characters George and Neal did the same thing with movies. But this time inst...
- Teleportation - After beginning to run out of material to add to the "Facebook Edit-Off" competition in year 6 of said competition, George and Neal decided to invent ...
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- music - (25 Other Entries)
- I Had Another Dream - In 1940 George and Neal wrote and released a song entitled Dreaming of a Purple Christmas. The song was mildly successful and in 1941 Irving Berlin w...
- Swingin' Records! - In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship...
- Sorry-for-the-Hyphens - In 1983, George and Neal started the hair-metal/country band "Sorry-for-the-Hyphens". They gained a small cult following as a result of their minor se...
- Definitely not Vain - In 1988, Neal and Billy Joel started a fire. Billy Joel denies it. In 2000, Carly Simon admitted she wrote "You're so Vain" about her 10-month, steamy...
- Band Camp - Then there was that one time, in band camp... But we won't go there.
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- people of history - (32 Other Entries)
- Team Ghandi - In 1972, not satisfied with only two teams, Neal and George created Chicago's third major league baseball team, Team Ghandi. Unfortunately, the team n...
- Infecting 1002 - In 2010, George and Neal went back in time to 2001 to stop themselves from hang gliding off 7 South Dearborn. Instead of arriving in 2001, they arrive...
- Who's the Bossasaur? - In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discove...
- A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook a...
- Documentaries - Throughout the years George and Neal have helped create several famous documentaries, including Gheorghe Marinescu's "The walking troubles of organic ...
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- time machine - (36 Other Entries)
- Not Conspiracy Theories - There are conspiracy theories, and then there's the truth. And here it is, at long last. There was no UFO crash at Roswell. It wasn't a weather balloo...
- Nobody does the weather like Neal (and that's a good thing). - In 2023 George and Neal each got jobs as meteorologists for competing local Chicago VV stations (VV will be the replacement for TV in the future). Bot...
- Sinatra Sluggers - In 1970, Neal and George went back in time to punch Frank Sinatra in the gut. Not because we had anything against Frank Sinatra per se, but rather bec...
- The Evian Mobile - In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen...
- Welcome aboard Adin! - In 2012, after being told about many of George and Neal's great exploits, Neal's son Adin asked if he could be a part of their future escapades and ad...
- Show All...
Other Posts:
- Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has bee...
- In Great Shape - In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took of...
- The ChickenPede - In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of...
- Welcome aboard Sam! - In 2012, George's sons Sam and Mike wondered if they had the potential to be as amazing as their dad and his friend Neal. Sam wanted to learn to make ...
- Play With George's Balls! - Unfortunately, after George's Basket Ball Company, Play With George's Balls!, experienced significant losses due to lawsuits surrounding his latest ga...
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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
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