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'1980s' Tagged Entries

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Tooth-whitening Toothpaste

Views: 376/4677
Added: 02/12/2009

George and Neal hit great fame in the late '80s after successfully marketing a tooth-whitening toothpaste. However, when it was discovered that the "paste" was merely the inside of a Twinkie®, sales plummeted, except in Europe.

Tags: 1980s(7) business ventures(46) europe(4) failures(22) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: twinkies(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance

Views: 369/6396
Added: 02/12/2009

In order to prevent George and Neal from becoming destitute after the ADA failed to support their new toothpaste approximately three dozen musicians, actors, and rhubarb farmers (friends from the IARF) joined together to perform a benefit concert and recorded the '80's hit feel-good song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". We are still waiting for the benefits of that get-together. On the plus side, dentists all around the world praised us for assisting in increasing their demand.

 

Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance - Finally.... a worthy cause!

Finally.... a worthy cause!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980s(7) awards and recognition(12) celebrities(69) edentulous(2) rhubarb(4) toothpaste(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)...

Views: 361/11614
Added: 04/14/2009

George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was in the process of developing an actual artificial intelligence for a car, as well as a "human-like orifice" - what was that about, George?) he had to refuse the role. Neal was also approached to play a role in the TV series, but he didn't pass the audition process. The producers said he used too much emotion in his portrayal of a talking car. They also thought the voice over part for the car should be played by someone wearing more than platform shoes and a cape. Neal refused to compromise on his artistic interpretation of the part. Neal's love of the platform shoe and cape was the inspiration for Sesame Street's "The Count" - not Dracula, as most people believe was the basis for the character.

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980s(7) art is art(10) celebrities(69) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) neal's fashion sense(21) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: baywatch(1) berlin(1) david hasselhoff(2) dracula(2) knight rider(2) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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After-School Specials

Views: 353/5163
Added: 05/01/2009

In the mid 1980's, Neal and George were hired by ABC to produce a series of after-school specials. Those of you who grew up in the 80's may remember (and still be traumatized by) their shows, including the safety episode, "Where did my thumb go?: Little Sammy's Shop Class Adventure"; the puberty/safe-sex episode "What's Growin' On You Could Kill You If You Use It Wrong"; the stranger-danger episode, "The Man Asking You to Sit on His Lap and Asking You To Whisper What You Want Is Not Really Santa Claus"; and the anti-drug episode, "Cocaine Will Prevent You From Success, the George W. Bush Story" (who knew in the 80's?). Surprisingly, it took three years before they were fired for their incompetence - heck, before they were fired, they even aired the confusing and long-titled episode "Don't Trust What TV Tells You To Do Except For This Show In Which Case You Should Trust It Entirely Because We Are Always Right And Have the Right To Tell You How To Live Your Life, And Hey, If We Don't Tell You To Brush Your Teeth And Stop Picking On Kids In Glasses How Will You Ever Learn These Lessons?".

Tags: 1980s(7) education(9) george w. bush(5) mental trauma(8) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: abc(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra

Views: 871/4743
Added: 09/24/2013

In the 1980s George and Neal discovered the rare Rosea Zebra, or Pink Zebra. These zebras are native to just a very small part of Africa and their discovery led to a dramatic increase in popularity of pink zebra print fashions. Today Pink Zebras are extremely rare and endangered because of all the illegal hunting that goes on to support western culture's obsession with making these beautiful animals into clothing, bedding, iPhone covers, car seats, etc. In the 2000s George and Neal started conservation efforts and captive breeding programs in an attempt to reintroduce large herds of Rosea Zebra to the wild. Unfortunately the revitalization of Pink Zebra populations also resulted in the resurgence of Pink Zebra print fashions. But you won't find any Pink Zebra print stuff in either of our households. We prefer beaver felt hats and whale blubber reading lamps.

 

The Fashionably Endangered Rosea Zebra - We had nothing to do with the unfortunate domestication and mass farming of the now ubiquitous Fluorescent Spandex Cattle that resulted from the 80s fashion trends.

We had nothing to do with the unfortunate domestication and mass farming of the now ubiquitous Fluorescent Spandex Cattle that resulted from the 80s fashion trends.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1980s(7) 2000s(2) animals(17) extinction(4) george's fashion sense(13) Neal's Fashion Sense(21)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Who's the Bossasaur?

Views: 598/13727
Added: 04/12/2014

In 1904, just one year after Elmer Riggs published his paper stating that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were the same creature, George and Neal discovered the skeleton of a brand new sauropod during an archeological dig in Turkey Creek Canyon near Morrison, Colorado. While significantly smaller than Apatosaurus, George and Neal's discovery was interesting in the fact that it appeared to be bipedal and was discovered alongside what appeared to be a petrified outfit, consisting of a vest, gloves, and even a ray gun. To add to people's confusion they decided to name their new discovery "Brontosaurus II", or, more affectionately, Bronto Thunder. Over the next few years they discovered a wide range of heavily armed, bipedal dinosaur fossils. These discoveries were largely ignored (and openly ridiculed) by the scientific community, even though George and Neal used their time machine to travel back to 78,000,543 BCE to learn more about these fascinating creatures, bring them back to the present day, and join them on all sorts of wacky adventures. Finally, in 1987 The Coca-Cola Company took notice of George and Neal's publications in Paleontology Today, and decided to animate the adventures. Dinosaucers aired for one season in 1987 and 1988, adding to The Coca-Cola Company's list of '80s achievements, which also included New Coke (aka Coke II), Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, and Coca-Cola Telecommunications.

 

Who's the Bossasaur? - Coca-Cola Communications insisted on including Clem (on the left) in the animated series.  George and Neal responded with "Who?"

Coca-Cola Communications insisted on including Clem (on the left) in the animated series. George and Neal responded with "Who?"

Photo by: George

Tags: 1904(1) 1980s(7) 1987(7) 1988(6) 78000543 bce(1) dinosaurs(2) people of history(33) time machine(37) tv shows(49)
Names Mentioned: Apatosaurus(1) brontosaurus(1) cherry coke(1) coca-cola company(1) coca-cola telecommunications(1) coke ii(1) diet coke(1) dinosaucers(1) elmer riggs(1) new coke(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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It's a buffet, not a Buffett...

Views: 389/2040
Added: 08/06/2017

In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab, which he thought were cake crumbs, chocolate, and gummy crabs respectively. Somehow he survived, however this really did a number on his teeth, inspiring him to write the hit song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". Ironically, George was also stranded in the middle of the ocean during the exact same time frame, but he was actually on a dessert island. He survived the 18 months on a diet of whipped cream, lollipops, and chocolate chip cookies. This inspired George to create the recipe for his tooth-whitening toothpaste. Also, ironically, George and Neal's islands were within swimming distance of each other, however Neal was too afraid of the salt in the ocean to swim over. (Well, according to George. According to Neal it was because George kept him away by brandishing licorice whips, but who are you gonna believe?) When George and Neal finally were rescued by some guy named Clem, they returned to the 1980's and put their latest creations to good use.

 

It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear.  All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly.  Yummy, but chilly.

Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear. All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly. Yummy, but chilly.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1980s(7) 2121(3) clem(3) edentulous(2) George(5) George and Neal(3) things neal eats(9) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: jimmy buffett(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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