The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
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'2009' Tagged Entries

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21 Entries on This Page

21 Tagged Entries  
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From the generic

Views: 460/11522
Added: 02/09/2009

From the generic "How Do You Know" fields:

Lived together?
You lived in Sin in 1998.
You lived in a van down by the river (but we swear nothing steamy happened) from 2004 to 2009.
You lived in inside the underbelly of a Tauntaun - more romantic than it sounds! from 1983 to 1984.

Worked together?
You worked at Wells and Wacker. Lower Wacker. That's a lot of Wacking. from 1981 to 1987.
You worked as Roadies (and, sadly, groupies) for the Lichtensteinian Goth Country band Doublewide Despair from 2001 to 2002.
You worked at C&C Roadside Carnival and Freak Show / Supermarket from 1995 to 1997.

From an organization, team or group?
You were members of Sumatran League of Confused Warlords in 1984.
You were members of Organizers of ThimbleCon 2008 - man, we love thimbles! from 1982 to 1997.
You were members of International Association of Rhubarb Farmers (who are diametrically opposed to those nasty Beet Farmers! [But not opposed to the Beat Farmers curiously enough]) from 1979 to 1984.

Went to school together?
You went to preschool with Neal.

Traveled together?
You traveled to sun bathing and swimming in Greenland for the bicentennial celebration of the Wooly Horse Festival in the winter of 2003.
You traveled to Panama for the annual Panama Canal Sled Dog/Doggy Paddle 500 biathlon in the summer of 2003.
You traveled to Djibuti, Qatar, Suriname, Guinea-Bissau, Moldova, Atlantis, Asgard, Metropolis, Kyrgyzstan... well, really, where DIDN'T we go? in the summer of 1980.

In my family?
George is Neal's father.

Through a friend?
You know Neal through Nicholas Exner (UIllinois).

Dated?
Yes, but not each other.

Other:
You met in 1981:

Tags: 1979(2) 1980(4) 1981(4) 1982(5) 1983(6) 1984(10) 1987(7) 1995(2) 1997(6) 1998(9) 2001(8) 2002(1) 2003(3) 2004(3) 2009(21) friends mentioned(4) our bands(9) relationships(6) rhubarb(4) star wars(7) thimblecon(2)
Names Mentioned: asgard(1) atlantis(1) beat farmers(1) chicago(14) djibuti(1) greenland(2) guinea-bissau(1) kyrgyzstan(1) lichtenstein(1) metropolis(1) moldova(1) nicholas exner(1) panama(1) qatar(1) star wars(6) sumatra(1) suriname(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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March of 2009

Views: 219/1583
Added: 02/11/2009

In March of 2009 George traveled back to February of 2009 just to make this entry in this list of great accomplishments.

Tags: 2009(21) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Facebook Edit-Off

Views: 173/2676
Added: 02/14/2009

In early 2009, George and Neal began their epic "Facebook Edit-Off" competition, which spanned eleven years, and over ten thousand pages of irrelevant information about their lives (all true!). All because neither George nor Neal is willing to admit defeat, even though it was apparent to all that George did win.

Tags: 2009(21) competition(10) facebook(10)
Names Mentioned: facebook(9)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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Neal Simon's Manhood

Views: 582/8754
Added: 02/14/2009

Also in 2009, Neal's manhood became sentient and demanded to secede from his body. It was thought, (only by George, known by the rest of the world) that this was the result of Neal's long time habit of wussing out and doing things the girly way. In Neal's warped reality, Neal was so manly, that his manhood felt no need to continue being a part of Neal, as Neal would continue to be manly enough and could and would grow another one at will. The manhood's theme song during its secession campaign was a humorous '90s hit by the band King Missile. Years later, Neal's manhood started a website (www.nealsimonsmanhood.com), which met with some success - but likely only because people thought it was a website hosting pictures of the author/playwright who wrote "The Odd Couple", "Biloxi Blues", and "Lost in Yonkers". Initially, the website was not like that at all. Over time, however...

 

Neal Simon's Manhood - Scientific Fact #47(c): All people named Neal Simon are excellent lovers.

Scientific Fact #47(c): All people named Neal Simon are excellent lovers.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990s(3) 2009(21) amazing abilities(16) body parts(14) celebrities(69) phallus(8) theater(8) websites(7) xxx(11)
Names Mentioned: biloxi blues(1) king missile(1) lost in yonkers(1) neil simon(1) the odd couple(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Bucket Run

Views: 167/4708
Added: 02/17/2009

George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, but rather discovered by none other than the infamous radio personality Mike Pries). However, unknown to many, George and Neal invented the "bathtub run" in 1997, wherein they would literally carry a bathtub to the nearby convenience store, to fill up with Surge and/or Mountain Dew, all for the low low price of 79 cents. This actually started the economic decline that became most apparent in 2008 and 2009.

 

Bucket Run - Good times. Good times.

Good times. Good times.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1997(6) 2008(6) 2009(21) economy(8) friends mentioned(4) inventions(48) jaguanst(8) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: mike pries(1) mountain dew(2) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Recession of 2009: The Origin

Views: 160/2885
Added: 02/27/2009

On 2/27/2009 George was too busy and too tired to do anything more than just embellish a bit. So he made up some random dribble just to take up some space. Neal wasted a few seconds of his time reading the dribble. Then everyone else who read this wasted a few seconds. After a while those seconds added up and years were wasted, just because George couldn't think of anything good to write. So thank you for contributing to the recession of 2009 by wasting precious seconds with which you could have been productive, earning money at a job or spending money to boost the economy. I hope it was worth it.

Tags: 2009(21) economy(8) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Kidnapped by Ninjas

Views: 230/4063
Added: 03/01/2009

In 2009, while writing an update to this profile, Neal was kidnapped by ninjas. (Though, truth be told, Neal took out 58 of the ninjas with his awesome karate skills. He was overpowered by the remaining 342 ninjas). Thus, George set on his 14 day quest to save Neal, which involved scaling numerous mountains, fighting 3 mountain lions and one kitten (though, he probably didn't have to fight the kitten), and taking on an armada of stealthy warriors. George's mission was a success, and now they are making a mega-blockbuster feature film. Ok, so it's not going to be a mega-blockbuster, but it'll win a few awards. Or maybe it'll just be an independent film released to a limited audience. Or a direct-to-dvd movie. Well, ok, there will just be a made-for-tv movie about it. Well, actually, not a made-for-tv movie. More of a television short. Well, more of a youtube clip. Well, okay, it was that Numa Numa clip. But that was totally symbolic of the struggles, man.

 

Kidnapped by Ninjas - That cat shouldn't have talked so much trash.

That cat shouldn't have talked so much trash.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2009(21) cats(8) journey(6) kicking ass(16) movies(40) ninjas(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Just Another Barbecue

Views: 372/5597
Added: 03/10/2009

In the summer of 2009, George and Neal had a barbecue. (Hey, not everything is as exciting as time traveling or fighting off townspeople.) Oh yeah, there were hordes of zombies at the barbecue that George and Neal had to battle. Almost forgot about that part.

 

Just Another Barbecue - Still, it wasn't the worst barbecue we've attended...

Still, it wasn't the worst barbecue we've attended...

Photo by: Neal

 

Mmmm...  Grilled Zombie... - ...we did manage to get some interesting bits to try grilling.

...we did manage to get some interesting bits to try grilling.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2009(21) food(45) kicking ass(16) relaxing(1) zombies(21)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1), Neal (1)

 
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March of 2009

Views: 170/2448
Added: 03/30/2009

In March of 2009 George went back to February of 2009 and added another entry to this list of great accomplishments. This was George's laziest way to pass the ball back to Neal to add another entry to the list of great accomplishments. Neal then did the same thing. Your move, George!

Tags: 2009(21) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer

Views: 767/5161
Added: 04/08/2009

680 Million years ago George and Neal were snooping around prehistoric earth studying ancient single celled organisms. When they left, Neal absentmindedly left their Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer system behind when we were packing up to return home. Unfortunately he also left the lid open, causing a drastic decrease in the Earth's temperature. Earth slowly cooled to the point that it was entirely frozen. For over 30 Million years Earth was covered in a thick glacial layer of ice and snow, a period some scientists refer to as Snowball Earth. This frozen period in Earth's prehistory caused the delay of the development of multicellular life forms by 33,456,721 years, 6 months and 4 days (give or take a few weeks). So what is now 2009 AD should actually be the year 33,458,730 AD and human kind should have already evolved beyond the need for physical bodies, in fact far beyond what humans are even capable of fathoming. We can thank Neal for millions of years of setback.

 

Taylor Wharton LABS-40K Cryogenic Freezer - If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

If Neal would have only remembered to shut the darn lid... We could be surfing the cosmos as pure energy right now instead of puttering about on this archaic thing we call the internet.

Photo by: George

Tags: .680000000 bce(1) 2009(21) 33458730(1) evolution(5) oops(16) prehistoric(6) science(28) weather(7)
Names Mentioned: taylor wharton(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Rudolph: The Origin

Views: 154/5070
Added: 04/12/2009

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose to swell up like a big red balloon. Ever the helpful friend, George took Neal back in time (circa 1938) to a special doctor that he heard could help - Dr. Robert L. May. Unfortunately, Dr. May had been down on his luck financially, and after assisting Neal, the good doctor decided to profit from the situation by writing the story, "Neal, the Red Nosed Ignoramus". Later drafts altered the story such that Neal was a Reindeer named Rudolph. The remainder of the story continued to be a surprisingly accurate account of what happened to Neal that year.

Tags: 1938(1) 2009(21) body parts(14) holidays(8) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: robert l. may(1) rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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The Cure!

Views: 142/2547
Added: 05/04/2009

In 2018 George and Neal discovered a cure for the common cold. Well, not really discovered, but just stumbled upon. Well, not really stumbled upon, more like it was stuck in the pocket of an old pair of pants that Neal hadn't worn since 2009. Sure it had gone through the wash, but it still worked!

Tags: 2009(21) 2018(4) diseases(9) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Having Doubts...

Views: 138/4515
Added: 07/10/2009

At 12:56am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George wondered if anyone ever reads The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! (Besides Bette Midler that is). At 12:57am on Friday, July 10, 2009 George decided it didn't matter and added some information about the kitten that taught Bob Ross how to paint.

Tags: 2009(21) bette midler(4) cats(8) celebrities(69)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5) bob ross(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Going All Digital, and Clean(ish)

Views: 137/2216
Added: 07/30/2009

On February 9, 2009 by federal mandate George and Neal were required to go all digital. The mandate was immediately revoked and a new mandate required Neal to take a shower before the new June 12, 2009 date requiring Neal and George to go all digital. Neal compromised and said he'd shower, but just this once.

Tags: 2009(21) government(16) neal funk(18)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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International Infant Sporting League

Views: 187/6697
Added: 08/11/2009

In 2009, after George surpassed Neal by 100% in the number of genetically descended offspring, Neal and Clarissa got busy, very busy. In 2011 Neal welcomed the arrival of his 12th son (and he didn't even use the time machine). A result of all this baby making was a new sport, which took America by storm. By 2015 it will be the second largest organized professional sport (right behind curling - yeah, it takes off next summer), enjoyed by millions of fans around the world. The Extreme Mobile Watching League, more commonly known as ExMo, spawned a whole family of spin-off sports, like Competition Crawling and the annual Spit-up Spectacular. In 2016 the IISL (International Infant Sporting League) was formed to encompass ExMo and related competitions.

 

International Infant Sporting League - Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.

Fans really get into their ExMo watching. This was a party to watch the ExMo Sippy Cup Finals in 2016. Jimmy the Crier narrowly beat out Suzie Smooches to bring home the coveted gold covered Tickle Me Elmo Original trophy.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2009(21) 2015(9) 2016(8) clarissa(6) genetics(16) offspring(13) organizations(15) sports(23) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: elmo(3) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce

Views: 1389/7049
Added: 09/18/2009

In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make a Dr. Pepper flavored barbecue sauce. In support of his favorite jaguanst, George developed a Mountain Dew flavored barbecue sauce. Both sauces sold well, but the debate over which one was better was beginning to get bloody by late 2009. So, in the interest of world peace, George and Neal halted production of the two sauces and developed the hybrid Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce. The sauce was mind-numbingly awesome, and swept the nation. In fact, people began simply drinking the barbecue sauce rather than applying it to their tasty meat (that's what she said, am I right?). Soon, companies began distributing the bbq sauce in vending machines (20 oz. for only $1.75!). Gradually, all currencies in the world were replaced by bottles of barbecue sauce, which led to a more solid global economy, ancillary causing world peace. It only lasted 14 minutes, but man, what a great 14 minutes!

Tags: 2008(6) 2009(21) 3041(1) business ventures(44) economy(8) food(45) inventions(48) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) recipes(9) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2) mountain dew(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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GONADS

Views: 214/8085
Added: 10/04/2009

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(44) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(48) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Zoo Trip Time Machine

Views: 165/4382
Added: 10/24/2009

In March 2010 George and Neal got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time and said it was a shame they hadn't done that sooner. So they jumped in the time machine and got their families together for a trip to the zoo in October of 2009. They had a fantastic time and said they should do it again some time. So in March 2010 they got their families together for a trip to the zoo. They had a fantastic time...

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) gimme a break(5) offspring(13) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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People Against Kneeling

Views: 156/2954
Added: 11/19/2009

In October 2009, Neal was kidnapped by the group, People Against Kneeling (or PAK; male members are known as PAK-Men and those married to PAK-Men may still retain their "Ms." nomenclature). Neal was abducted solely because his name could be construed as a command to kneel. As a result, Neal could not update the chronicling of George and Neal's epic journeys through life (and a few times, death, but we'll get to that later. Or never.) In November 2009, Neal escaped, evading security cameras, ironically, by kneeling down. You'd think the PAK-Men would have seen that one coming.

Tags: 2009(21) organizations(15)
Names Mentioned: pac-man(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Couch Potatoes Illustrated

Views: 151/3625
Added: 12/10/2009

Hearing about the steep decline in readers for magazines such as Sports Illustrated and Men's Health, George and Neal decided to start their own magazine to capture those increasingly less-active readers. In December, 2009, George and Neal started their own magazine, Couch Potatoes Illustrated. With articles such as "How to Increase Your Lazy Boy Butt Imprint," "Which Brand of Doritos is Right For You" and "20 Ways to Please Your...Self", demand for the magazine was high. Unfortunately, none of the would-be subscribers had enough energy to purchase the magazine, resulting in cancellation after one issue.

Tags: 2009(21) business ventures(44) failures(22) publications(14) slacking and being lazy are hard work(9)
Names Mentioned: doritos(1) sports illustrated(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Welcome Back Potter

Views: 217/4143
Added: 08/27/2012

Overwhelmed by the success of the Harry Potter franchise (books, movies, games, cereals, tampons, etc.) and eager to revive the 1970's sitcoms, in 2009 George and Neal created the show, "Welcome Back Potter." It was an instant success, if you measured success by how quickly a show gets removed from a network.

 

Welcome Back Potter - Above: promotional photograph for "Harry Potter and the Unruly Sweathogs".

Above: promotional photograph for "Harry Potter and the Unruly Sweathogs".

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1970s(3) 2009(21) mashups(12) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: Harry Potter(8) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)



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