The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.

So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).

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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.

Documentation started in February of 2009
 

George and Neal, sometime
in space and pudding.

In The Beginning... The chronicles of George and Neal are, for historians, a difficult thing to present. To say that very little is known about both men would be erroneous - in reality, the opposite is true. However, due to certain "chronal anomalies," the direct result of George and Neal's forays into time travel, it therefore becomes nearly impossible to lay out their history in a sequential manner.

For example, from 1982 to 1997, George and Neal organized ThimbleCon, an annual meeting of thimble enthusiasts everywhere that didn't actually happen until 2008, when George and Neal were ages 25 and 24, respectively. In 1976, during their respective ages of 35 and 34, they had success as the roller-derby team, "Peaches and CREAM!" ... But which to present first? The 1976 event came second - when they were in their 30s. The 2008 event occurred when the two were in their 20s, however they were in their late 60s when their fascination for thimbles drove them to start organizing the annual event. Much of their lives jump around in this willy-nilly fashion, so much so that most of those dedicated to presenting this information have suffered neurological maladies attempting to present their chronicles.

Rather than joining the ranks of the near-mad, this nameless historian has chosen to present this information as the events folded in the heroes' (a.k.a sexual dynamos, as some refer to them) lives. You, Faithful Reader, can now, for the first time ever, vicariously experience the greatness of the Triumphant Two. To say that this website will enhance the lives of billions, and change the world forever, would be an understatement.... But let's begin, shall we?


Last Updated September 11, 2017 - Jump To: 10 Recent Entries - Newest Entries

360 Enlightening Entries & Over 286 Awe Inspiring Images!

NEW: Now you can read the whole Saga on your favorite ebook reader! What's better than free ebooks? Well, probably a lot of things, but how can you pass up reading these wonderful adventures for free on your favorite ebook reader? So download the Saga now and take us with you on your next adventure (or to the bathroom, we won't judge you)!

Download the whole Saga in your favorite free ebook format: And be sure to come back for the latest version of your free ebook! We'll keep updating the free ebooks as we add entries to the Saga!


The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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Disclaimer and Stuff:

"In infinite space, even the most unlikely events must take place somewhere. People with the same
appearance, name and memories as you, who play out every possible permutation of your life choices."
- Professor Max Tegmark, Dept. of Physics, MIT -

The events related in The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! are completely true and really happened (or will happen). If your recollection of history does not exactly match those depicted below that may be because you exist in a different universe than where the events take place. People, places, and events related below may not necessarily represent those of your reality, so if something offends, irritates, annoys, aggravates, infuriates, bothers, hurts, chafes, vexes, infects, provokes, insults, affronts, abuses, slights, confuses, astounds, bamboozles, mystifies, baffles, perverts, misrepresents, depraves, debauches, spoils, destroys, putrefies, assaults, deceives, obstructs, frustrates, penetrates, creeps, disturbs, or fondles you or your worldview, please don't sue us. Things may be different in your reality than they are in ours. In fact, I'm willing to bet that they are different. If they aren't you might want to seek medical attention. If, on the other hand we have inspired, enlightened, educated, entertained, bewildered, or caressed you, please leave us a comment at www.george-and-neal-are-awesome.info

The documentation of this adventure began in February 2009 by Neal Simon and George Jaros. It quickly grew to epic proportions (that's what she said) and is still being updated periodically as of October 2017. For the latest entries visit www.george-and-neal-are-awesome.info

"If a universe can be imagined, it exists."
- Professor M.R. Franks, Member, Royal Astronomical Society of Canada -


 

The Latest Entries:

10 Entries on This Page

 
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If You Survive the Looks You'll Be Tickled Smaragdine...

Views: 48/633
Added: 10/28/2016

You know that saying, "If looks could kill"? Well, for a short period in 1868 some looks actually could kill. Glares, frowns, and the evil eye were often incapacitating and occasionally fatal. Luckily George and Neal were around and everyone was severely entertained, so looks mostly just tickled people pink, and occasionally other colors like smaragdine.

 

If You Survive the Looks You'll Be Tickled Smaragdine... - You really can't tell from this picture, mainly because it is in black and white, but the 1868 graduating class from the US Naval Academy in Annapolis is definitely tickled pink (except for the front row, they were tickled glaucous.

You really can't tell from this picture, mainly because it is in black and white, but the 1868 graduating class from the US Naval Academy in Annapolis is definitely tickled pink (except for the front row, they were tickled glaucous.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1868(1) annapolis(1) glaucous(1) historic events(18) smaragdine(1) us naval academy(1)
Names Mentioned: Annapolis(1) us naval academy(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Presidential Passion!

Views: 45/858
Added: 01/25/2017

Originally, Mel Gibson won the 2016 election. Thanks to George and Neal's time machine, this was averted. Unfortunately, Mel Gibson also had a time machine (which explains why many of his movies are so historically accurate), and he used it to once again tip the election in his favor. Civic duty demanded George and Neal change the timeline back. However, Mel then went back in time to alter the timeline so he won the election again. This back and forth went on seven hundred more times. The good news was that George and Neal averted a timeline where Mel Gibson was president. However, the bad news was that due to the constant tearing of the timeline fabric, for a period of time our president was Lindsey Lohan, then Megatron from Transformers, then a zombie Richard Nixon (his platform was "braaaaainnns!"), then an inanimate hat (its platform, oddly enough, was also "braaaaainnns!") and finally, Donald Trump. They kept trying to fix the timeline after that point, but nothing could be altered. Well, other than the fact that now Trump and Hillary Clinton are now secret, passionate lovers.

George and Neal felt really bad about messing up so badly (it being the first time they ever made a mistake), but this didn't stop them from capitalizing on the situation and writing a torrid romance novel about Trump and Clinton's love affair.

 

Presidential Passion! - "This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"

"This," purred Hillary, "gives a whole new meaning to 'Hot off the Press.'"

Photo by: Neal

 

 - Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.

Republicans and Democrats finally agreed on one thing - this probably wasn't the best book to read to children.

Photo by: Neal

NY Times called the book, "Painfully detailed."

Hillary wrote the foreword, which read only: "Damn you both."

Tags: 2016(8) braaaains(1) donald trump(1) election(1) hillary clinton(1) inanimate hat(1) lindsey lohan(1) megatron(1) mel gibson(1) richard nixon(1) torrid romance(1) transformers(1) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: donald trump(10) hillary clinton(1) lindsey lohan(2) megatron(1) mel gibson(1) richard nixon(1) transformers(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Chewie Wookie Cookies

Views: 76/470
Added: 03/08/2017

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... As a young girl, Princess Leia Organa was a member of the Alderaan Starflower Girl Scout Troop. Her troop was one of the first in the Core Worlds, but began to struggle with funding as a result of increased costs for their grassroots support of the Rebel Alliance. Leia helped to organize a bake sale, selling cookies to support her Troop and the idea caught on. Within a few years Troops all around the galaxy were selling cookies to support Girl Scout Troops from Naboo to Hoth. By 2 BBY the Girl Scouts had standardized on several different cookie flavors, and the most popular varieties started are still available during annual fundraising drives for Girl Scouts in several different galaxies throughout the Universe (except on Alderaan, unfortunately). In 28 ABY the Girl Scouts redesigned their logo to honor Leia's inspirational work in both the Girl Scouts and the Rebel Alliance. Today the logo, known as the Trefoil, still reflects Leia's signature hairstyle.

 

Chewie Wookie Cookies - Today's most popular selling cookie is the Thin Mint, but in Leia's time the most popular variety were the Chewie Wookie cookies.

Today's most popular selling cookie is the Thin Mint, but in Leia's time the most popular variety were the Chewie Wookie cookies.

Photo by: George

Tags: are girl scout cookies made from real girl scouts?(1) cookie(2) cookies(2) food(44) it's not all about us(1) recipes(9) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: girl scout cookies(1) girl scouts(1) princess leia(1) star wars(6)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Settling The Great Debate

Views: 20/205
Added: 08/06/2017

In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their environment, George and Neal traveled to 1990 and created the rap/ska musical group Naughty by Nurture. Just as George and Neal
planned, when news of their band name reached rappers Treach, Vin Rock, and DJ Kay Gee (collectively known as Naughty by Nature), they interrupted George and Neal’s UnLive Aid show (a benefit concert devoted to androids, zombies, and android zombies) to fight them onstage. Fights also ensued among the audience, which consisted of an equal split of fans of both groups. George and Neal immediately felt bad about what happened, and further realized that human behavior is determined by BOTH genes AND environment. Therefore, the boys made up with Treach and company, forming the supergroup known as Naughty By Nature vs. Nurture.

 

Settling The Great Debate - So naughty that Santa won't even bother checking his list even once for these guys.  (Also, snakes and babies were apparently status symbols of some sort back in 1990.)

So naughty that Santa won't even bother checking his list even once for these guys. (Also, snakes and babies were apparently status symbols of some sort back in 1990.)

Photo by: Neal

The songs they released were unsurprisingly terrible, but the muffin recipes that they also released were delicious.

 

 - A new debate arose, with some arguing the muffins were tastier than 2Pac's tea cakes.

A new debate arose, with some arguing the muffins were tastier than 2Pac's tea cakes.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990(2) 2pac(2) androids(1) banana nut muffins(2) dj kay gee(1) hip hop hooray(1) human behavior(1) muffins(2) nature versus nurture(1) naughty by nature(1) naughty by nurture(1) o.p.p.(1) old school rap(1) rap(1) rap/ska(1) ska(1) tea cakes(2) treach(1) vin rock(1) zombies(21)
Names Mentioned: 2pac(2) dj kay gee(1) george(4) naughty by nature(1) neal(3) treach(1) vin rock(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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It's a buffet, not a Buffett...

Views: 17/89
Added: 08/06/2017

In 2121 Neal was stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a desert island. However, Neal couldn't spell and thought he was on a dessert island. He spent the next year and a half eating nothing but sand, bark, and the occasional wandering crab, which he thought were cake crumbs, chocolate, and gummy crabs respectively. Somehow he survived, however this really did a number on his teeth, inspiring him to write the hit song "Teeth are for Wussies, so Give Edentulous a Chance". Ironically, George was also stranded in the middle of the ocean during the exact same time frame, but he was actually on a dessert island. He survived the 18 months on a diet of whipped cream, lollipops, and chocolate chip cookies. This inspired George to create the recipe for his tooth-whitening toothpaste. Also, ironically, George and Neal's islands were within swimming distance of each other, however Neal was too afraid of the salt in the ocean to swim over. (Well, according to George. According to Neal it was because George kept him away by brandishing licorice whips, but who are you gonna believe?) When George and Neal finally were rescued by some guy named Clem, they returned to the 1980's and put their latest creations to good use.

 

It's a buffet, not a Buffett... - Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear.  All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly.  Yummy, but chilly.

Although it was in tropical latitudes, it's a good thing George had his winter gear. All that ice cream made the air pretty chilly. Yummy, but chilly.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1980s(7) 2121(3) clem(3) edentulous(2) George(3) george and neal(2) things neal eats(8) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: jimmy buffett(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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A Worthy Cause!

Views: 16/78
Added: 08/07/2017

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a story about a child born as an old man who aged in reverse, wasn’t always a work of fiction. Originally, there were multiple cases of children born as old people who then aged in reverse. In 2068, George and Neal started the “Benjamin Button Disease: Walk or Sleep for the Cure” charity, dedicated to eradicating this horrible disease.

 

A Worthy Cause! - Above: Numerous seven-year-old sufferers of B.B. Disease participating in the 9th annual Walk for the Cure”

Above: Numerous seven-year-old sufferers of B.B. Disease participating in the 9th annual Walk for the Cure”

Photo by: Neal

 

 - Above: Severe cases, unable to walk, participate in “Sleep for the Cure”

Above: Severe cases, unable to walk, participate in “Sleep for the Cure”

Photo by: Neal

Given the overwhelming support generated by the charity, by 2071 they thankfully found a cure for BBD. George and Neal traveled back to 1859, secretly distributing the cure worldwide. Consequently, Benjamin Button and every other child thereafter led normal (or at least chronological) lives. Though they rarely discussed these events (preferring to keep their good deed anonymous), one cold night in 1921, George and Neal retold the tale to good friend Fabio Scott Fitzgerald who wrote the now famous short story about the (now fictional) illness.

Tags: 2068(3) benjamin button(1) disease(1) fiction(1) the curious case of benjamin button(1)
Names Mentioned: benjamin button(2) f. scott fitszgerald(1) george(4) neal(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair...

Views: 18/34
Added: 08/07/2017

In 2017 George and Neal decided to start a new hairstyle fad. Instead of the refined, prim, manicured look that they made popular for most of the previous decade they both decided to skip the weekly stylist visits and nightly shampoo/conditioner/brushing regimen they had adhered to for the past 9 years and let their hair grow au natural. The jury is still out on if this was a good idea or not.

 

Give me a head with hair, weird, awkward hair... - George just got more and more hair everywhere, except where he needed it most.  Neal's hair took on the form of the animal spirits he had sacrificed to his hair in years past.

George just got more and more hair everywhere, except where he needed it most. Neal's hair took on the form of the animal spirits he had sacrificed to his hair in years past.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2017(2) animals(16) fashion(2) hair(11)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Pre-Pre-Plagarism

Views: 5/111
Added: 08/09/2017

On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before Neal said it, so it appeared like Neal was constantly copying George. Although annoyed by that joke, Neal liked the concept of pre-plagiarism, and used it to "ghost-write" such novels as Wuthering Heights, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and A Confederacy of Dunces which he then sold to the authors who originally wrote the books in the first place. (Though, given that each of the authors only wrote one book, it's quite possible that Neal actually wrote the books himself at some point in the time continuum, and simply sold his manuscripts to those authors.)

But you overlooked this tiny bit! (That's what she said.)

Tags: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) April Fools(2) emile bronte(2) John Kennedy Toole(2) oscar wilde(2) The Picture of Dorian Gray(2) wuthering heights(2)
Names Mentioned: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) Emile Bronte(2) john kennedy toole(2) Oscar Wilde(2) the picture of dorian gray(2) Wuthering Heights(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Pre-Plagarism

Views: 5/111
Added: 08/09/2017

On April 1, 2023, Neal was constantly repeating everything that George said. It was later discovered that as a practical joke George used the time traveling machine to go back in time to learn what Neal was about to say, then said it moments before Neal said it, so it appeared like Neal was constantly copying George. Although annoyed by that joke, Neal liked the concept of pre-plagiarism, and used it to "ghost-write" such novels as Wuthering Heights, The Picture of Dorian Gray, and A Confederacy of Dunces which he then sold to the authors who originally wrote the books in the first place. (Though, given that each of the authors only wrote one book, it's quite possible that Neal actually wrote the books himself at some point in the time continuum, and simply sold his manuscripts to those authors.)

Tags: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) April Fools(2) emile bronte(2) John Kennedy Toole(2) oscar wilde(2) The Picture of Dorian Gray(2) wuthering heights(2)
Names Mentioned: A Confederacy of Dunces(2) Emile Bronte(2) john kennedy toole(2) Oscar Wilde(2) the picture of dorian gray(2) Wuthering Heights(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

   

Newest Entries from 09/11/2017:

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I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy

Views: 10/43
Added: 09/11/2017

During 2003, while involved in their historic "Dare Ya..." competitions, Neal said, "George, I dare ya to create a real life Ziggy," (the adorable, nonthreatening newspaper comic strip character). Neal was deeply satisfied with this dare, as he knew this was an impossible feat. What creature could possibly survive, maintaining such a pudgy, globulous body?

Undaunted, George was determined and attempted to create a real life Ziggy. To George's great frustration, experiment after experiment failed. Months passed without success. Ultimately, refusing to concede, George managed to create a fish that looked exactly like Ziggy.

 

I Like My Cartoon Men Like I Like My Fish, Round and Pudgy - That... is a strong likeness.

That... is a strong likeness.

Photo by: Neal

Neal could not deny the strong likeness, but argued George did not create an actual "Ziggy person" therefore failing the challenge (a debate the two have argued over every subsequent "Dare Ya" competitions). In any event, after the competition was over George found the fish a good home - meaning he chucked it over the side of a bridge.

Somehow, the fish thrived and even reproduced. Later that year, the fish was discovered by an ichthyologist. While George understood why the scientist named it the "blobfish", he couldn't help but be slightly disappointed the scientist didn't note its resemblance to Ziggy.

[Editor's note: The Ugly Animal Preservation Society conducted a poll to determine its official mascot. More than three thousand people voted. The Blobfish won by a landslide.]

Tags: 2003(3) blobfish(1) dare ya(1) science(28) ziggy(1)
Names Mentioned: Ziggy(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)



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