The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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Cold Fusion

Views: 206/5255
Added: 02/13/2009

In 2035 George and Neal (using their time machine again) discovered the secret to producing Cold Fusion power. Unfortunately at the time they didn't realize the implications of their discovery since they were only trying to develop a more efficient way to dispose of dog waste. It wasn't until 2115 that technology caught up to their misguided genius.

Tags: 2035(2) 2115(2) business ventures(44) energy(6) inventions(48) poop(7) time machine(37)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin

Views: 188/3768
Added: 02/14/2009

They also built a time machine, accidentally, while trying to fix a blender. The blender was originally broken when George and Neal decided to make "Rock Smoothies." Six blenders later, and the recipe is still not yet ready to be released.

 

Rock Smoothies & Time Machines: The Origin - According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

According to Billy Dee Williams, this, too, is smooth every time. Well, relatively.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(48) origin(24) recipes(9) smoothies(7) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: billy dee williams(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Views: 149/2609
Added: 02/16/2009

After George invented the semicolon in Aught 8, Neal loved it so much;; that he decided; to use; it;;; whenever; he;; could.;; Neal's invention of the thorn character Þ was met with much less enthusiasm. But the two combined make a very funny emoticon ;Þ

Tags: 8(1) emoticons(2) inventions(48) symbols(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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Bucket Run

Views: 158/4591
Added: 02/17/2009

George was not the inventor of the famed "bucket run" at U of I, despite the widely held belief (the original bucket run was not actually invented, but rather discovered by none other than the infamous radio personality Mike Pries). However, unknown to many, George and Neal invented the "bathtub run" in 1997, wherein they would literally carry a bathtub to the nearby convenience store, to fill up with Surge and/or Mountain Dew, all for the low low price of 79 cents. This actually started the economic decline that became most apparent in 2008 and 2009.

 

Bucket Run - Good times. Good times.

Good times. Good times.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1997(6) 2008(6) 2009(21) economy(8) friends mentioned(4) inventions(48) jaguanst(8) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: mike pries(1) mountain dew(2) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Damn you, Midler!

Views: 185/7674
Added: 03/02/2009

In 2010 George and Neal single handedly (well, I guess double-handedly) save the US from a great depression, by creating a new industry devoted solely to... well, I can't really say here, otherwise our idea will be taken. Probably by Bette Midler, who religiously checks these updates for some reason. Damn you, Midler!

 

Damn you, Midler! - Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Bette doing her nightly check of the latest updates in the The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! You won't find anything you can use here Bette! Go away!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) bette midler(4) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) economy(8) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: bette midler(5)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Napoleon's iPod: The Origin

Views: 177/5332
Added: 03/07/2009

In 2001 Apple Computer Corporation released the iPod. Sources say that the design was based on an archaeological find from a dig in Russia near the location of the Battle of Borodino. Rumors were that it was a relic of an alien civilization that was manipulating Napoleon through an implant near his ear. They were confused by the label attached to it's battery compartment that said "Property of George, Neal keep your hands off!". Apple's first iPod was a nearly identical copy of the relic.

Tags: 2001(8) aliens(5) ancient wonders(9) inventions(48) ipod(2) napoleon(2) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) ipod(2) napoleon(2) russia(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Prolific Pancake Pileup

Views: 604/5686
Added: 03/12/2009

Back in 1952, Neal and George invented the pancake. Not that they were trying to invent it, mind you. They just suck at making regular cakes, and that's just what happened. They made a fortune as a result, but lost it all when multiple lawsuits were filed against George and Neal after they chucked countless pancakes at oncoming traffic. (Wikipedia "the Prolific Pancake Pileup" for more information). A movie, "The Illinois Pancake Massacre", involving a serial killer who used pancakes as his weapon of choice, was only loosely based on the incident.

 

The Prolific Pancake Pileup - Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Uncle Buck has a long way to go before he can match these babies. We had traffic stopped for three days while crews cleaned up syrup and butter.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1952(3) food(45) inventions(48) lawsuits(13) movies(40) recipes(9)
Names Mentioned: chicago(14) illinois(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Darwin Loves Us!

Views: 224/4536
Added: 03/13/2009

In 10,000 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable thumb. In secret documents, Darwin acknowledged this fact, and renounced his natural selection theory. Confusingly, the Vatican has suppressed this information for generations.

 

Darwin Loves Us! - He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

He couldn't have been that mad; he gave us a signed copy!

Photo by: Neal

Tags: .10000 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) christian(8) evolution(5) inventions(48) people of history(33) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: charles darwin(1) vatican(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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The Opposable Nose: The Origin

Views: 289/5124
Added: 03/13/2009

In 9,996 BCE, Neal and George invented the opposable nose. It wasn't as well received and didn't go on to quite the success as the opposable thumb. However, there is a tribe of people in the central forests of Simushir, known as the Norge, which embraced the opposable nose. Their culture is very interesting and celebrates the gift of the opposable nose bestowed upon them by their ancient deities Egroeg and Laen, two powerful beings that visited their people with magical devices and funny haircuts.

 

The Opposable Nose: The Origin - Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Egroeg, preparing to bestow the wonderful gift of the opposable nose.

Photo by: George & Neal Collaboration - Caption by: Neal

Tags: .9996 bce(1) ancient wonders(9) body parts(14) george's fashion sense(12) hair(11) inventions(48) nicknames(14) origin(24) prehistoric(6)
Names Mentioned: simushir(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George & Neal Collaboration (1)

 
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Binabble and Mon-opoly

Views: 247/3984
Added: 03/15/2009

Also in 2006, George invented a scrabble board game, called "Binabble" and instead of letters, you could only use 1's and 0's. The game didn't sell very well because the game board was too huge. Neal also invented a board game called "Mon-opoly". It differed from the famous game with a strikingly similar name because it dealt with only properties in Jamaica and the Chance cards all end in "mon", as in "Go durectly to da jail, mon, and doncha pass da go, mon."

 

Binabble and Mon-opoly - The game board went on for miles and miles. Even Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey couldn't see the end of it.

The game board went on for miles and miles. Even Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey couldn't see the end of it.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2006(2) games(15) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: jamaica(1) monopoly(1) scrabble(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power

Views: 259/6130
Added: 03/16/2009

In 1998, George decided to traumatize Neal by forcing him to watch Peter Jackson's lesser known muppets-on-drugs movie, Meet the Feebles. Neal has been sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth ever since. On the plus side, George realized he could use Neal's constant rocking as an alternate source of energy. Now the nation's reliance on oil has abated. Its reliance on "Neal Power", however, has grown exponentially. George has become the nation's largest supplier of "Neal Power", although not everyone rocking back and forth after watching Meet the Feebles is named Neal. The cost of producing "Neal Power" generators was drastically reduced in 2000 when George invested in purchasing a copy of the movie on VHS for $14.95 instead of having to rent the video for $3.00 every time he wanted to build more power generators. Since 2000 George has converted numerous poor souls to "Neal Power" generators, including his poor wife (sorry honey!). To the Spice Girls dismay, the nation still has no interest in fueling things using sassy "Girl Power". The Power Rangers have no opinion on this.

 

Clean, Efficient, Traumatizing Feeble Power - The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is powered by people viewing this still from "Meet the Feebles". Thanks for doing your part to keep our site running.

The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures Through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is powered by people viewing this still from "Meet the Feebles". Thanks for doing your part to keep our site running.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1998(9) celebrities(69) energy(6) inventions(48) meet the feebles(1) mental trauma(8)
Names Mentioned: meet the feebles(1) peter jackson(1) power rangers(1) spice girls(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Calendar Confusion

Views: 148/4712
Added: 03/16/2009

In 46 BCE George and Neal suggested a new calendar to Julius Caesar. Caesar adopted most of the rules we specified, but not all of them. In 1582 George and Neal again proposed their new, more accurate calendar system, which was officially adopted by Pope Gregory XIII in October of that year. The ensuing confusion lasted for nearly 350 years (and will actually reassert itself again in the year 2800 thanks to the Revised Julian calendar). As confusion regarding the calendar wore off George and Neal decided to shake things up again in the early 1900s with their invention of Daylight Savings Time. We had nothing to do with George W. Bush's addition to the confusion. That was his own doing.

Tags: .46 bce(1) 1582(1) 1900s(1) 2800(1) calendars(4) george w. bush(5) historic events(18) inventions(48) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: george w. bush(4) julius caesar(1) pope gregory xiii(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Tic-Tac-Toe-Two

Views: 143/3295
Added: 03/17/2009

George and Neal have an unhealthy obsession with Milton Bradley and other board games. This obsession, however, has proven beneficial. For instance George and Neal won second place at the Life Board Game National Competition two times (1956 and 1978). Also, George and Neal amassed a small fortune after creating the game "Tic-Tac-Toe-Two, which was the same game as Tic-Tac-Toe, except it had 3 extra boxes and 74 needlessly complicated rules. If you could withstand the tutorial, it was a surprisingly fun game. Its sales in America were abysmal, but did well in Australia under its alternate name "Tic-Tac-Dingo-Ate-My-Baby-Toe".

 

Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - The X's won, but by a close margin.

Tic-Tac-Toe-Two - The X's won, but by a close margin.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1956(2) 1978(5) australia(2) games(15) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: australia(1) milton bradley(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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In Great Shape

Views: 139/4513
Added: 03/17/2009

In 1902 George and Neal developed a revolutionary diet program. The program slowly grew and evolved until the 1950s and 1960s when it suddenly took off and became an incredible success. We marketed it as a system where you could eat delicious foods and get into great shape at the same time. The program was advertised extensively under a variety of names and titles and we are happy to report that today the Neal and George Diet Program is the most successful program in the country. Nearly everyone in America participates in the program and there are millions of branches across the country. The success of our program is even global with various franchises in just about every country in the world. In economically developed countries it is possible to even see our program in action in 10 or 12 locations simultaneously. Our program has evolved and developed into varieties that fit just about every lifestyle and situation. In fact, we're willing to be that you've participated in our program at least once in the last month, possibly even today. The program goes by several names, but the most common name used in popular culture is the Fast Food program. What? We never specified what shape you'd be in. Round is a shape! And we happen to think it's a great shape.

Tags: 1902(2) 1950s(2) 1960s(3) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) food(45) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: america(8)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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The Twelve Step Approach

Views: 158/8128
Added: 03/19/2009

In 2010 George insisted Neal seek therapy to break his addiction to board games. Neal entered the program but came out six weeks later with a great idea for a game called "The Twelve Step Approach". The game has been a big hit in Hollywood and has attracted some of the biggest stars in entertainment, including Nick Nolte, David Hasselhoff, Amy Winehouse, Lindsey Lohan, and Elmo. Neal hopes to capitalize on the game's success with a sequel called "Back on the Wagon" while George is working on a prequel called "I Can't Remember What I Did Last Summer". A live television version of the game is scheduled to be on NBC in the fall of 2010. The working title for the game show version is "Neal or No Neal".

 

The Twelve Step Approach - It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.

It's anticipated that the show will be a runaway success, just like the board game. In other words, if you run away you might succeed.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) celebrities(69) games(15) inventions(48) rehab(3) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: amy winehouse(1) david hasselhoff(2) deal or no deal(1) elmo(3) hollywood(3) i know what you did last summer(1) lindsey lohan(2) nbc(3) nick nolte(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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QZIZZLE-PIZZLE

Views: 157/2098
Added: 03/20/2009

In 1856 George and Neal invented over six different types of keyboards, the now ubiquitous QWERTY keyboard, the still sometimes used Dvorak keyboard, the infrequently used DHIATENSOR keyboard, and less common QWERTZ, AZERTY, QZERTY, Colemak, Turkish-F, FITALY, ATOMIK, Maltron, PLUM, Asset, and Arensito keyboard layouts. Most recently, George and Neal created the QZIZZLE-PIZZLE keyboard, which is gaining popularity among hip-hop fans.

Tags: 1856(1) inventions(48)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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The Evian Mobile

Views: 143/4568
Added: 03/22/2009

In 1910 George and Neal, knowing the future issues that would be caused by the pollution from combustion engines, invented a highly efficient hydrogen powered car that ran on common bottled water; a 20oz bottle lasted 350 miles. Unfortunately bottled water hadn't been invented and George and Neal got tired of travelling forward and backward in time just to bring Evian back. Shortly after we stopped bringing water to the early 1900's the fledgling Ford Motor Company and Standard Oil were able to purchase the technology and pretend it never existed.

 

The Evian Mobile - This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.

This vehicle, with its over-sized Evian bottles, could travel over 12,000 miles before needing a refill.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1910(1) business ventures(44) energy(6) inventions(48) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: evian(1) fordmotor company(1) standard oil(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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It's Convenient: The Origin

Views: 409/6072
Added: 03/26/2009

In 711 AD on July 11th at 7:11pm George and Neal invented the convenience store. Then, in 1927 some guy named Joe Thompson completely ripped off our idea and is widely credited with inventing the convenience store. I guess it's our own fault though. We abandoned our stores in 718 AD leaving them in the care of the Saxons. How were we to know that Charlemagne would crush them nearly 100 years later? Oh yeah, never mind. Our bad. Anyway, Charlemagne ran the stores for a decade before dying and passing ownership on to his son Louis, who ran the stores into bankruptcy in just a few short decades.

Tags: 1927(3) 711(1) 718(1) business ventures(44) historic events(18) inventions(48) origin(24) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: 7-eleven(1) charlemagne(1) joe thompson(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Slap-Bracelets: The Origin

Views: 169/3542
Added: 03/26/2009

In the mid-1990s, in an effort to assist law enforcement, Neal and George created a new lightweight, easy to use handcuff. To the shock and frustration of law enforcement across the nation, these new handcuffs were easily removable. As a result, hundreds of criminals roamed free because of Neal and George's invention. In an effort to turn lemons into lemonade, George and Neal renamed them Slap-Bracelets, and made millions because junior high kids loved them (almost as much as the criminals).

Tags: 1990s(3) crimes & scams(16) failures(22) inventions(48) origin(24) success!(13)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Love Aid Rings

Views: 199/4141
Added: 03/27/2009

In 1951, George and Neal decided to make a line of "Love Aid Rings" to sell to the public. Neal designed them based upon his own body, which he felt was of average proportion and size. People were not ready for such a product back in the 50's. That's okay, because they made a fortune after connecting the two ends to form a large hoop and re-marketing the product as the "hula hoop".

 

Love Aid Rings - Neal's "Love Aid Rings" got much more use, and brought joy to many more people in their modified "Hula Hoop" form. These women were much less excited when they tried these out as "Love Aid Rings".

Neal's "Love Aid Rings" got much more use, and brought joy to many more people in their modified "Hula Hoop" form. These women were much less excited when they tried these out as "Love Aid Rings".

Photo by: George

Tags: 1950s(2) 1951(1) body parts(14) inventions(48) phallus(8) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System

Views: 206/5620
Added: 03/28/2009

In 1758 George and Neal invented tooth paste. Their first attempt was made from actual ground up teeth and was used to hold in dentures, but eventually they came up with a recipe for a tooth whitening and cleaning paste. In 1794 George and Neal invented the tooth brush to make applying the paste easier. We originally called it the "Ultra-Mega Teeth Brushing and Cleaning System", but Congress shortened that to "Tooth Brush", considering that most people by that time only had one or two teeth. Unfortunately, due to several obscure laws, the dental hygiene products are still unable to be sold or even used in Britain and Indiana.

Tags: 1758(1) 1794(1) body parts(14) britain(9) inventions(48) laws(10) toothpaste(4)
Names Mentioned: britain(8) indiana(1)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration

 
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The Neo-Geo Fanclub

Views: 177/4810
Added: 04/03/2009

In an effort to find a way to accurately predict the weather, Neal and George devised a weather-prediction machine, which was comprised of a series of pulleys and levers connected to highly explosive nitroglycerin. This invention did nothing - except result in Neal and George both losing their eyebrows for a month. The invention was considered a failure by most of George and Neal's fans (who collectively form the fanclub Neo-Geo, not to be confused with the failed 1990s gaming system of the same name). It is considered a failure both as a result of the inventors' lack of foresight, as well as the fact that as of 2005 (when they did their experiment), accurate weather forecasting had existed for hundreds of years.

 

The Neo-Geo Fanclub - Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Above: Hardware entirely unrelated to the Neo-Geo fan club. Well, unless if there is another fan club of the same name which is not devoted entirely to the accomplishments of George and Neal, but rather to celebrate a failed gaming console. In that case, disregard this comment, at least as it relates to that club.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1990s(3) 2005(2) failures(22) hair(11) inventions(48) organizations(15) video games(12) weather(7)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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PDD Reactor

Views: 132/2516
Added: 04/10/2009

In 2068 George and Neal invented the PDD Reactor, a source of nearly endless energy. It converts Poopy Disposable Diapers into highly efficient energy. Unfortunately, when they invented the PDD Reactor there was no such thing as disposable diapers. So Neal and George went back to 1950 to invent the disposable diaper. By the time 2068 rolled around there was enough fuel stockpiled to run the PDD Reactor indefinitely.

Tags: 1950(3) 2068(3) energy(6) inventions(48) poop(7)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Phhhhlbtttt!!!

Views: 262/2984
Added: 04/21/2009

In 1927 there were actually 14 months to the year. Elevember came after December and Simbulary came after April. Earth revolved around the sun a bit slower than it does now. But during beta testing of the whoopee cushion, George and Neal accidentally accelerated the Earth's average speed from approximately 56,146 mph to 66,622 miles per hour, resulting in the year being 61 days shorter. The final version of the whoopee cushion was significantly less powerful.

Tags: 1927(3) calendars(4) inventions(48) science(28)
Names Mentioned: whoopee cushion(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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We'd Need a Thneed Indeed!

Views: 181/6153
Added: 05/16/2009

In 1965 George and Neal invented an odd-looking but versatile garment that everyone needs. In 1971 we licensed the story of the growing Thneed industry to Dr. Seuss who wrote the story "The Lorax". Fortunately the story was an exaggeration of what could happen, but we were much more responsible with our manufacturing process, using only cutting edge sustainable technology, including using biofuels, 99% recycling efforts, solar cells and solar collectors to generate heat and electricity, reforestation projects, and more. Our patented Thneed Manufacturing Process was so low impact that most people don't even know it existed. And I guess that was our downfall. No one bought our Thneeds. In 2008 George brought suit against Fosdick Corporation, the company which markets the Snuggie, a blatant rip-off of the Thneed. Neal also filed suit against Fosdick Corporation, but because they are using the trademarked name he uses for his line of underwear (which he exclusively models). Neal's Fosdick Tighty Whiteys sell worse than the Thneeds...

Tags: 1965(1) 1971(1) 2008(6) business ventures(44) inventions(48) lawsuits(13) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15)
Names Mentioned: dr. seuss(2) fosdick corporation(1) snuggie(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Pleasurebots: The Origin

Views: 231/6130
Added: 06/25/2009

2011: As a result of all of George and Neal's time traveling they were away from home a good portion of the time. In an effort to provide comfort to their wives during these long absences, George and Neal created "Pleasurebots" - robots that could *ahem* provide their wives with "tender services". George and Neal were extremely proud of the fact that the robots they created were just as competent lovers as they were. Julie and Clarissa were extremely depressed by this fact.

 

Pleasurebots: The Origin - The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

The first pleasurebots. We still didn't work out all the kinks, so to speak.

Photo by: Neal

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-Neal - Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Clarissa and her Robo-Neal (Version 2.0).

Photo by: George

 

Pleasurebots V.2 - Robo-George - Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Julie and her Robo-George (Version 2.0). Gives new meaning to the phrase "chrome dome".

Photo by: George

Tags: 2011(8) clarissa(6) inventions(48) julie(5) origin(24) pleasurebot(3) robots(7) time machine(37) wives(15)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (2), Neal (1)

 
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Ice Cream Sandwich: The Origin

Views: 175/4070
Added: 07/01/2009

In 1931, Neal made the mistake of ordering 10,000 loaves of chocolate wafers. (Okay, it wasn't a mistake - he just liked chocolate. It was a weak moment.) George, on the other hand, ordered hundreds of gallons of ice cream - that wasn't a mistake either - he just always wanted to swim in a pool of sherbet. When the bill came, the boys had to find a way to pay for their addictions. Hence, ice cream sandwiches were born. Of course, the original sandwich is different from those of today, which taste much less like George swam in the ice cream.

Tags: 1931(1) food(45) george funk(11) inventions(48) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin

Views: 152/5602
Added: 07/02/2009

In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook account. Chuck was fascinated and wanted to know more. So we left him an extra computer that we had lying around so he could try to build his own. It took a while, but he eventually designed his Difference Machine, Difference Machine No. 2, and Analytical Machine but got distracted by lolcats, failblog and youtube. It took nearly 150 years before his Difference Machine was actually built. Now that's some procrastination that George and Neal haven't even been able to match yet. On a side note, in 1861 Babbage showed photographer Henry Pointer some LOLcats, Henry showed his friend Harry Whittier Frees and a meme was born...

 

A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1821(1) 1902(2) cats(8) facebook(10) inspirations(19) inventions(48) origin(24) people of history(33) procrastination(5)
Names Mentioned: charles babbage(1) harry whittier frees(1) henry pointer(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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We Didn't Do 'Q'

Views: 94/3001
Added: 07/07/2009

In 1669 Neal invented the ellipses (...), however his first version was flawed. George suggested adding two more dots so that people would stop confusing it with a period. Now people correctly trail off dreamily when they encounter ellipses instead of an abrupt ending... (See how that works?) On a completely unrelated note, George and Neal teamed up in 1154 to invent the alphabet. Except for the letter Q.

Tags: 1154(1) 1669(1) inventions(48) languages(11)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Handlebar Mustache: The Origin

Views: 1256/3333
Added: 07/07/2009

In 1815 George invented the handlebar mustache; however no one understood the name. So in 1817 he invented the velocipede and suddenly everyone knew what handlebars were. The handlebar mustache was wildly popular, especially among military generals, guys who like twirling things absentmindedly, villains, and guys named Vern. Neal's invention of the unibrow was not quite as well received. Our collaboration on mutton chop sideburns was extremely popular, however, and we urge everyone to go out and get one.

 

Handlebar Mustache: The Origin - Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!

Now that's some awesome facial hair guys!

Photo by: George

Tags: 1815(1) 1817(1) hair(11) inventions(48) origin(24)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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The ChickenPede

Views: 184/5729
Added: 07/23/2009

In 1996 George and Neal cross bred a centipede with a chicken (that was one wild night, let me tell you). The resulting mutant became a favored pet of Neal's (he named it Perdue) until George realized the financial opportunity and sold Perdue and the ChickenPede breeding technique to KFC. Neal was devastated, but agreed that Perdue was tasty. We also tried selling the breeding technique to Hooters, but they claimed they already had enough breasts, thighs, and legs and to contact them when we made a chicken with more wings. We're still researching that.

 

The ChickenPede - RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.

RIP Perdue - Rest in Pieces... Crispy, tender, golden pieces.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1996(2) business ventures(44) chicken(2) genetics(16) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: hooters(1) kentucky fried chicken(1) perdue chicken(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Emoticlish

Views: 122/4252
Added: 07/30/2009

Emoticons will become the dominant language in 2028 for nearly every nation. In the rare nation that does not adopt Emoticlish (as it is referred to in most nations), the phrase "ESL" will refer to "Emoticons as Second Language". Universal Keyboards will emerge, and will only have the following keys: : )( 0 ! ; D * [ ] > < q p = - and |. Many marriage proposals will be as follows: "Will you make me colon-hyphen-closed parenthesis and marry me?" Most responses will consist of "colon-hyphen-zero... yes!" George and Neal have actually nothing to do with this, but thought people from the first decade of the 2000's would find this tidbit of future history interesting.

 

Emoticlish - George and Neal's involvement in the emoticlish movement? Creating the first emotikeyboard. It remains a mystery to this day as to why George and Neal felt a need to keep the other "blank" keys.

George and Neal's involvement in the emoticlish movement? Creating the first emotikeyboard. It remains a mystery to this day as to why George and Neal felt a need to keep the other "blank" keys.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2028(2) emoticons(2) inventions(48) languages(11)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA

Views: 139/5611
Added: 08/11/2009

In 2017, riding on the success of ExMo and the IISL, George and Neal started a new line of furniture stores called ILEAK, making the style and comfort once reserved for only elite athletes affordable for all. Our furniture is based on classic designs that people are intimately familiar with from their days as infants. Now adults can enjoy all the comforts of baby furniture! Sleep in your own personal, adult size crib. Eat without the hassle of a table with your very own high chair. Relax in your very own swing, complete with three point harness. Driving has never been safer with your very own car seat (we don't recommend using it rear facing in the driver's seat however). Or enjoy your favorite IISL events from the comfort of a vibrating bouncy chair. It doesn't get any better than that.

 

This Ain't Your Dada's IKEA - George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

George showing off the latest in the ILEAK line of infant inspired furniture.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2017(2) business ventures(44) george's fashion sense(12) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: ikea(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Connect One

Views: 369/3194
Added: 08/20/2009

After "Connect the Dot" the movie broke box office records, George and Neal decided to create a new game upon which to base another movie. The result? Connect One, an instant classic.

 

Connect One - It's all about strategy.

It's all about strategy.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: games(15) inventions(48) movies(40)
Names Mentioned: connect four(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Metric Woes

Views: 123/5147
Added: 09/02/2009

Unable to persuade America to convert to the Metric system, in 2087 George and Neal successfully convinced America to abandon their current measuring system in favor of the "Jarmonorgeal" system. Unfortunately, the Jarmonorgeal system did not alleviate mathematical confusion but rather enhanced it considerably. For example, 10 meters were equal to 3 Georges, whereas 20 meters equaled 4.25 Georges, or a "Neal and a Half". You could go from Maine to Louisiana in just 16 Mikes; but 10 Mikes equaled one Adin, and confusingly Earth was only 2 Adin's distance in circumference (although it should be noted that "circumference" was now arbitrarily renamed "Earth's Beer Gut" - which in itself makes no sense). Realizing their (one and only) error, George and Neal decided to travel to Washington D.C. to repeal the law which adopted the Jarmonorgeal measuring system.... except they never made it, as due to a measuring error they accidentally overshot D.C. by a George and three quarters, which meant they ended in Thailand somehow. (Why this measuring system continued to use halves and quarters continued to be a mystery...)

Tags: 2087(1) failures(22) inventions(48) laws(10) nicknames(14) offspring(13)
Names Mentioned: america(8) louisiana(1) maine(1) thailand(1) washington d c(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod

Views: 166/3109
Added: 09/02/2009

On June 1, 2011, Neal and George debuted their MMORPG video game, Oregon Trail xTreme - The Road to Nimrod (yes, it is an actual place in Oregon, as is Wankers Corner). The initial release was hugely anticipated, netting over 3.6 million users in the first 24 hours. Two days later, 65% of those users somehow acquired the measles, dysentery, or cholera, although their online personas remained healthy.

Tags: 2011(8) diseases(9) inventions(48) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: nimrod oregon(1) oregon trail(1) wankers corner oregon(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Hawking's melodious robotic voice... Ahhh....

Views: 195/7314
Added: 09/06/2009

In 2036, tired of attempting to potty train their many, many children (combined, George and Neal sired 664 children, thanks to their wives, who have been cloned many times over as George and Neal can't seem to get enough of them), George and Neal gathered the best and brightest scientific minds (read: just the two of them - oh, and they also included Stephen Hawking, not because he's as smart as Neal and George (he's not), but rather because they liked hearing Hawking's melodious robotic voice). The goal: discover a way to eliminate the need to potty train children. Two hours later, the solution was discovered. George and Neal combined the awesome, near-supernatural powers of duct tape and children's pottys, and revealed their newest invention, the "Toilet Tush Taper" (aka "Poop Cubed") to the world. (((Patent (and significantly better name) pending.))) This invention did not sell well, though, after someone realized that the "invention" of taping a toilet to a child's touchas was really the same thing as a diaper. A much heavier, messier, terrible diaper. Red Green was impressed at the ingenious use of duct tape though.

Tags: 2036(2) celebrities(69) failures(22) inventions(48) offspring(13) poop(7) science(28) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: red green(1) stephen hawking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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President Obama's Education Recovery Effort

Views: 650/7786
Added: 09/08/2009

In 2010, as part of President Obama's Education Recovery Effort, George & Neal's list of accomplishments became mandatory curriculum from 4th grade up. Students are required to pass annual standardized tests in four categories: Historical Events, Businesses and Celebrities, Inventions, and Other Crap. 4th through 6th grade tests each consist of 200 multiple choice questions, 7th and 8th grade is a combination of 250 multiple choice and short answer questions, and high school also includes an essay section. Also all US Citizens are required to complete a 150 question multiple choice test once every four years. Failure to pass the test could result in suspension of your US Citizenship and up to 10 years of living in Britain. So you better start studying now!

 

President Obama's Education Recovery Effort - This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

This was an answer key for the 6th grade multiple choice section. Whoo Hoo! We like patterns! Also notice that you no longer have the choices of A-B-C-D-E. In keeping with George & Neal are Awesome tradition, your options on the multiple choice section are G-J-N-S-!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2010(16) britain(9) business ventures(44) celebrities(69) education(9) government(16) historic events(18) inventions(48) laws(10) obama(4)
Names Mentioned: america(8) barack obama(4) britain(8)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce

Views: 1381/6881
Added: 09/18/2009

In 2008, Neal convinced the makers of Dr. Pepper (which he claimed was the greatest jaguanst available, at least until the year 3041, when the superior Rottercola came out, which was far, far tastier and 1800% more likely to cause cavities.) to make a Dr. Pepper flavored barbecue sauce. In support of his favorite jaguanst, George developed a Mountain Dew flavored barbecue sauce. Both sauces sold well, but the debate over which one was better was beginning to get bloody by late 2009. So, in the interest of world peace, George and Neal halted production of the two sauces and developed the hybrid Dr. Mountain Pepper Dew BBQ Sauce. The sauce was mind-numbingly awesome, and swept the nation. In fact, people began simply drinking the barbecue sauce rather than applying it to their tasty meat (that's what she said, am I right?). Soon, companies began distributing the bbq sauce in vending machines (20 oz. for only $1.75!). Gradually, all currencies in the world were replaced by bottles of barbecue sauce, which led to a more solid global economy, ancillary causing world peace. It only lasted 14 minutes, but man, what a great 14 minutes!

Tags: 2008(6) 2009(21) 3041(1) business ventures(44) economy(8) food(45) inventions(48) jaguanst(8) mashups(12) recipes(9) that's what she said(6)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2) mountain dew(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Make the Trains Run on Thyme

Views: 145/4368
Added: 09/18/2009

Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply misunderstood us, but recognized a good idea when he heard one). We also invented a car that ran on oregano, a bus that ran on dill, and an airplane that ran on coriander.

Tags: food(45) inspirations(19) inventions(48) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: benito mussolini(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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GONADS

Views: 206/7907
Added: 10/04/2009

In 2009 George, along with Neal's wife Clarissa, developed the Genetic Origins Nurturing And Development System or GONADS. This revolutionary device takes prenatal learning programs (like Lullabelly, Bellysonic and FirstSounds) one step further and incorporates the latest developments in Gene Expression and Epigenetics research. The device uses a combination of audio and magnetic signals to actually educate gametes (sperm and egg cells). Using techniques discovered through epigenetics research we can ensure that information learned by sperm and egg cells is actually passed on to successive generations. Purchase one today and your children and grandchildren will be smarter! Purchase one for your children and your grandchildren and great grandchildren will be even smarter. Give your descendants the head start they need to compete in the highly competitive future (take it from us, we've been there). Your descendants can get into the best schools, land the best jobs, and get the highest scores in Donkey Kong. If you don't buy our GONADS you don't love your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great-grandchildren, great-great-great... You get the picture. Neal, along with George's wife Julie, helped promote the GONADS with an international lecture tour in late 2010, demonstrating the effects of using the device (the time machine was used to secretly fit the GONADS to Julie's great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents) versus a non-educated genetic history (Neal's ancestors were not fitted with the device). Millions were convinced that the device works as advertised.

Tags: 2009(21) 2010(16) business ventures(44) clarissa(6) genetics(16) inventions(48) julie(5) offspring(13) relationships(6) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: bellysonic(1) donkey kong(1) firstsounds(1) lullabelly(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Search Engine Search Engine (no, we didn't stutter)

Views: 174/7036
Added: 10/10/2009

By 2040, the number of internet search engines were so voluminous and staggering (including Infoseek, Lycos, Yahoo, Google, Magellan, AltaVista, Ask Jeeves, Ask.com, Goodsearch, SearchMe, Wheresthatdangwebsite.com and 150 million others) that George and Neal started their own search engine, which conveniently enough searched for other search engines.

Tags: 2040(4) business ventures(44) inventions(48) websites(7)
Names Mentioned: altavista(1) ask jeeves(1) ask.com(1) goodsearch(1) google(1) infoseek(1) lycos(1) magellan(1) searchme(1) yahoo(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Just don't use it on your clothes, please.

Views: 133/3867
Added: 08/09/2010

In 2048, Neal claimed to invent an invisibility potion, and thereafter used the potion to open up many financially successful invisible zoos. George later discovered that Neal didn't devise any invisibility potion, but rather created an elaborate and complex hoax (okay, so it wasn't that complex, since Neal just held up his hand and claimed to be holding something invisible).

 

Just don't use it on your clothes, please. - Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Neal relaxes with a delicious invisible Dr. Pepper. (Now with even less calories than Diet Dr. Pepper!)

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 2048(1) business ventures(44) crimes & scams(16) inventions(48) jaguanst(8)
Names Mentioned: dr. pepper(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Sleep Sleep Revolution

Views: 165/3429
Added: 08/27/2012

Hoping to get in on the "full body motion" video games made popular by the Wii and XBox Kinect, George and Neal invented "Sleep Sleep Revolution." Sales were sluggish, likely because the target demographic was too lazy to venture out to buy a copy.

 

Sleep Sleep Revolution - "So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

"So warm... So cozy... So inviting.... ARE YOU UP TO THE CHALLENGE???"

Photo by: Neal

Tags: inventions(48) movies(40) video games(12)
Names Mentioned: dance dance revolution(1) xbox kinect(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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It Hood Ats Fla Was

Views: 216/5625
Added: 02/12/2013

In 2014, George decided that he could make a better dictation-to-text program than what was currently available (such as Dragon Dictation and Apple's Siri). Although the program was widely adopted as a result of George and Neal's popularity, it was known to haven moony problems and bigs. Still, Kneel and Gorge refused to stop us and it.

Tags: 2014(7) failures(22) in good company(6) inventions(48) languages(11)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) dragon naturally speaking(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Kick-Ball Ball-Kick

Views: 203/3520
Added: 02/20/2013

Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created the first kickball that could kick back. Although the game became much more challenging, it also became infinitely more enjoyable to watch.

 

Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - (The above image, "Kick-Ball Ball-Kick" courtesy of The Museum of Entirely Random Things, where their motto is, "Come for the pie, stay for the tire-irons.")

(The above image, "Kick-Ball Ball-Kick" courtesy of The Museum of Entirely Random Things, where their motto is, "Come for the pie, stay for the tire-irons.")

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1973(2) groin kick(3) inventions(48) kickball(1) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) sports(23)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Views: 291/7915
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(44) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(48) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Sisqo's Lullaby

Views: 30/118
Added: 03/06/2019

In 2018 George's third kid served as inspiration to his greatest gift to the human race. He noticed that Andrew was very mobile and kept having problems with his diaper shifting into odd positions. Additionally, diapers are really not all that stylish. So he worked with leading fashion designers (but mostly Neal and Sisqo) to come up with a new design for the traditional nappy. Since then Thong Diapers have become all the rage and have changed the course of history.

 

Sisqo's Lullaby - Seventh Generation was the first company to jump on board with this civilization changing revolution in diaper design.  Less material in the diapers means they're much more environmentally friendly.  Maybe not for your immediate environment, but overall they really helped.

Seventh Generation was the first company to jump on board with this civilization changing revolution in diaper design. Less material in the diapers means they're much more environmentally friendly. Maybe not for your immediate environment, but overall they really helped.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2018(4) environment(1) fashion(3) inventions(48)
Names Mentioned: Seventh Generation(1) Sisqo(2)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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