The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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The Multiverse

Views: 127/3660
Added: 03/23/2009

There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply a side effect of George and Neal using their Time Travel technology. Every time we travel in time a time vortex opens in the Bermuda Triangle area and anything caught in its path is transported to a parallel universe. This effect also causes other objects in our universe to travel to a parallel universe, even if they are not located in the Bermuda Triangle. This is called the Unmatched Sock effect and is greatly exaggerated by the common household dryer. It also affects coins (although they tend to reappear under seat cushions), Barbie doll shoes, Matchbox Cars (but strangely not Hot Wheels), pen caps, and utility bills. The parallel universe looks very much like George's dorm room while at UIUC.

Tags: conspiracy theories(7) science(28) time machine(37) toys(3) u of i(3)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) bermuda triangle(1) hot wheels(1) matchbox cars(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Chronal Warriors George

Views: 246/6194
Added: 09/01/2012

With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effort to cash in on their fame. The toy line was an immediate success, and such figures as "Kung Fu Grip George" and "Nasal Drip Neal" sold like hot cakes.

 

Chronal Warriors George - This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.

This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.

Photo by: Neal

 

Chronal Warriors Neal - Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."

Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."

Photo by: Neal

 

Grabbin' my Neal and George - Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".

Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".

Photo by: Neal

The toy line made George and Neal oodles of money. George was just happy that now when Neal played with himself in public, it wasn't so controversial.

Tags: 1985(4) action figures(2) business ventures(44) economy(8) nicknames(14) toys(3)
Names Mentioned: clio awards(1) g i joe(1) gobots(1) hasbro(1) tonka(1) transformers(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)

 
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Lego Prison

Views: 648/13452
Added: 09/30/2013

In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly because Lego blocks hadn't been invented yet and no one saw any harm in it. Plus it was attached to a bill about Federal Water Pollution Control Act (which also had the effect of making it illegal for Neal to bathe, at least until the Clean Air Act was passed in 1963 and new techniques and technologies like aeration, flocculation, and active carbon adsorption enabled water filtration plants to sufficiently clean Neal's bath water). When they found out about this, George and Neal traveled to 1950 and convinced legislators to pass a bill to make it illegal to leave Legos lying on the floor, especially after dark. Their bill was easily passed into law because by that time enough people had stepped on Legos in their bare feet that it was deemed necessary to ensure the safety of US citizens. As a result of these two laws, Neal, George, Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla spent the rest of 2012 and most of 2013 in jail for committing the crimes they fought so hard to make illegal. Julie and Clarissa enjoyed the 18 month vacation from having to take care of three kids each.

During our incarceration we found one thing that hurts more than stepping on a Lego at night in bare feet; wiping with prison toilet paper...

 

Lego Prison - Jail time wasn't so bad for George.  He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.

Jail time wasn't so bad for George. He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1948(3) 1950(3) 2012(14) 2013(7) clarissa(6) julie(5) laws(10) neal funk(18) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) toys(3) wives(15)
Names Mentioned: barbie(2) lego(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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