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There are lots of stories about the Bermuda Triangle and how it causes ships and airplanes to mysteriously disappear. In actuality, this is the simply a side effect of George and Neal using their Time Travel technology. Every time we travel in time a time vortex opens in the Bermuda Triangle area and anything caught in its path is transported to a parallel universe. This effect also causes other objects in our universe to travel to a parallel universe, even if they are not located in the Bermuda Triangle. This is called the Unmatched Sock effect and is greatly exaggerated by the common household dryer. It also affects coins (although they tend to reappear under seat cushions), Barbie doll shoes, Matchbox Cars (but strangely not Hot Wheels), pen caps, and utility bills. The parallel universe looks very much like George's dorm room while at UIUC.
With the success of Hasbro's Transformers and G.I. Joe toy lines, rival toy company Tonka sought to create their own action figure toy lines. After achieving limited success with the Gobots, in 1985, Tonka execs approached George and Neal in an effort to cash in on their fame. The toy line was an immediate success, and such figures as "Kung Fu Grip George" and "Nasal Drip Neal" sold like hot cakes.
This limited edition George figure sells for more today than your child's entire college education. Either is just as likely to get your kid a job in this economy.
Photo by: Neal
Tonka's 15th generation toy line included this toy, "Library Attending Neal."
Photo by: Neal
Still from the CLIO award-winning but unfortunately titled commercial, "Grabbin' my Neal and George".
Photo by: Neal
The toy line made George and Neal oodles of money. George was just happy that now when Neal played with himself in public, it wasn't so controversial.
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Photos by: Neal
In 2012 George and Neal's kids Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla snatched the time machine and traveled to 1948 where they were able to convince legislators to make it illegal to vacuum up any Lego blocks. Their bill was easily passed into law mostly because Lego blocks hadn't been invented yet and no one saw any harm in it. Plus it was attached to a bill about Federal Water Pollution Control Act (which also had the effect of making it illegal for Neal to bathe, at least until the Clean Air Act was passed in 1963 and new techniques and technologies like aeration, flocculation, and active carbon adsorption enabled water filtration plants to sufficiently clean Neal's bath water). When they found out about this, George and Neal traveled to 1950 and convinced legislators to pass a bill to make it illegal to leave Legos lying on the floor, especially after dark. Their bill was easily passed into law because by that time enough people had stepped on Legos in their bare feet that it was deemed necessary to ensure the safety of US citizens. As a result of these two laws, Neal, George, Mike, Sam, Adin, and Ayla spent the rest of 2012 and most of 2013 in jail for committing the crimes they fought so hard to make illegal. Julie and Clarissa enjoyed the 18 month vacation from having to take care of three kids each.
During our incarceration we found one thing that hurts more than stepping on a Lego at night in bare feet; wiping with prison toilet paper...
Jail time wasn't so bad for George. He smuggled in one of those tools that let you take apart stuck Legos and then spent most of the 18 months hanging out with Barbie.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
Or, just click on one of the ads on our site. We'll get a few pennies, and there's no obligation for you, guaranteed or your money back!
Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.