The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!


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George & Neal's Excellent Adventure

Views: 195/6623
Added: 03/05/2009

In 1988, Bill and Ted went on an excellent adventure. Nothing compared to the exploits of George and Neal, which the movie was based off of. However, like all "based on a true story" movies, certain facts were glossed over or changed. For example, Neal and George learned through their time traveling exploits that Joan of Arc really loved marshmallows, Beethoven was not deaf but rather he just didn't like listening to people, Ghengis Kahn was not a real person but instead was a bear dressed in men's clothing. The movie did accurately portray Napoleon as a jerk though. That guy stole George's iPod. "Jokes on you, little man," George cried angrily, "Where you going to charge it back in your time?" Of course, to Napoleon, all he heard was "Waa Waa Waaa Waa" Charlie Brown style, because he didn't speak English. Also, George didn't say dude. His favorite word? Jaguanst.

Tags: 1988(6) ancient wonders(9) inspirations(19) ipod(2) jaguanst(8) journey(6) movies(40) napoleon(2) people of history(33) time machine(37)
Names Mentioned: apple computer corporation(3) beethoven(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) charlie brown(3) ghengis kahn(1) ipod(2) joan of arc(1) napoleon(2)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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They're all True Stories

Views: 179/6992
Added: 03/08/2009

Numerous TV shows and Movies (and also a few books) have been based on the life and times of George and Neal. Included in these are: Superman, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (as noted above, however not Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, at least not yet), The Game, Indiana Jones (the first three), Goonies, Knight Rider, The A-Team, Welcome Back Kotter, Gone with the Wind, Beavis & Butthead, Altered States, James and the Giant Peach, everything by Neil Gaiman, Get Smart, Gunsmoke, The Muppet Show, Soylent Green, Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Lorax, Casablanca, Animal Farm, Star Trek Deep Space 9, Hamlet, Tales of a Geisha, and plenty more...

Tags: a-team(2) awards and recognition(12) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) movies(40) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: altered states(1) animal farm(1) a-team(3) beavis & butthead(2) bill and ted's bogus journey(1) bill and ted's excellent adventure(2) casablanca(1) get smart(1) gone with the wind(1) goonies(1) gunsmoke(1) hamlet(1) indiana jones(1) james and the giant peach(1) knight rider(2) muppet show(1) neil gaiman(1) plan 9 from outer space(1) soylent green(1) star trek deep space 9(1) superman(1) tales of a geisha(1) the game(1) the lorax(1) welcome back kotter(2)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

Views: 159/5035
Added: 03/16/2009

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, nothing happened because Star Wars was just a story made up by George Lucas (although the plot was loosely based on George and Neal's adventures with a similar all-encompassing power called the Farce). However, last week in this galaxy George and Neal were lost and trying to figure out a way to get back to the Milky Way. Their GPS unit was on the fritz and told them they were in the Pegasus galaxy even though they were actually in Stickney, Illinois. It was an understandable mistake.

Tags: failures(22) inspirations(19) journey(6) movies(40) star wars(7)
Names Mentioned: illinois(3) milky way galaxy(1) pegasus galaxy(1) star wars(6) stargate(2) stickney(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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George Spores

Views: 240/5331
Added: 03/25/2009

In September 1928, Neal and George decided to attempt to clone themselves so that future generations could benefit from their awesomeness. Neal believed he was on to something when he created "George Spores", which grew from George's feet. In reality, this was just Athlete's Foot, obtained by George while showering at the dorms at U of I. However, on the plus side, when Neal threw out his "George Spores" in Alexander Fleming's laboratory, it resulted in Fleming's discovery of Penicillin. So, millions of lives were once again saved by George's stinky feet.

 

George Spores - George Spores... Who knew they would be so beneficial. They are rather good looking though.

George Spores... Who knew they would be so beneficial. They are rather good looking though.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1928(1) diseases(9) george funk(11) historic events(18) Inspirations(19) people of history(33) science(28)
Names Mentioned: alexander flemming(1) university of illinois(5)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: George (1)

 
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1964 through 1969

Views: 221/4842
Added: 03/28/2009

In 1983 Neal and George co-wrote a short story that chronicled their adventures from 1964 through 1969. The story was well received in the literary community and we received several offers to turn the story into full length novels. We approved two authors to take our story and develop their own interpretations. Both books (the latter actually a series of four books) became best sellers and eventually were turned into screenplays as well. Band of Brothers was a huge success as an HBO mini-series. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants also became a box-office hit and spawned a sequel movie that actually was more true to actual events than the books.

 

1964 through 1969 - So very much happened during those five years.

So very much happened during those five years.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1964(2) 1969(2) 1983(6) inspirations(19) movies(40) publications(14)
Names Mentioned: band of brothers(1) hbo(1) sisterhood of the travelling pants(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Rudolph: The Origin

Views: 144/4950
Added: 04/12/2009

In 2009, Neal suffered such a massive case of writer's block that his brain literally tried to leave his body by jumping out of his nose. This escape attempt did not work, as Neal's brain got stuck somewhere in his nasal cavity, causing Neal's nose to swell up like a big red balloon. Ever the helpful friend, George took Neal back in time (circa 1938) to a special doctor that he heard could help - Dr. Robert L. May. Unfortunately, Dr. May had been down on his luck financially, and after assisting Neal, the good doctor decided to profit from the situation by writing the story, "Neal, the Red Nosed Ignoramus". Later drafts altered the story such that Neal was a Reindeer named Rudolph. The remainder of the story continued to be a surprisingly accurate account of what happened to Neal that year.

Tags: 1938(1) 2009(21) body parts(14) holidays(8) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: robert l. may(1) rudolph the red-nosed reindeer(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)...

Views: 194/7932
Added: 04/14/2009

George was originally cast in the lead role as Michael Knight for the 1980's TV series Knight Rider, however due to conflicting interests (George was in the process of developing an actual artificial intelligence for a car, as well as a "human-like orifice" - what was that about, George?) he had to refuse the role. Neal was also approached to play a role in the TV series, but he didn't pass the audition process. The producers said he used too much emotion in his portrayal of a talking car. They also thought the voice over part for the car should be played by someone wearing more than platform shoes and a cape. Neal refused to compromise on his artistic interpretation of the part. Neal's love of the platform shoe and cape was the inspiration for Sesame Street's "The Count" - not Dracula, as most people believe was the basis for the character.

 

Vun (ah ah ah) Too (ah ah ah) Tree (ah ah ah)... - Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Above: what could have been.... But for the conflict of interest, George would have taken the role of Michael Knight, and would have went on to star in Baywatch, and sung arguably acceptable quality rock songs as the Berlin Wall came down. Hasselhoff, on the other hand, would have gone on to star in hundreds of adult films, including "Degradation She Wrote", "Smoke the Bandit", and "Not So Different Strokes". The jury is still out as to which would have been a better reality.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1980s(7) art is art(10) celebrities(69) inspirations(19) knight rider(2) neal's fashion sense(20) scantily clad people(15) tv shows(48)
Names Mentioned: baywatch(1) berlin(1) david hasselhoff(2) dracula(2) knight rider(2) sesame street(4)
Entry Logged By: George & Neal Collaboration - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Godzilla

Views: 177/6301
Added: 04/24/2009

In 1954, Neal and George worked in Japan assisting scientists with all sorts of experiments. (The boys secretly volunteered because they enjoyed drinking random test tubes of unknown substances in hopes of becoming giddily intoxicated). Unfortunately, the scientists' atomic testing awoke a furious Godzilla, which began destroying everything in sight. Fortunately, all of the genetic testing performed on George and Neal caused them to grow to epic proportions.

 

Godzilla - Godzilla is moderately annoyed.

Godzilla is moderately annoyed.

Photo by: Neal

George sprang into action, hitting Godzilla repeatedly with a broom. (Why a broom? Who knows? Maybe George couldn't find his purse.) Neal did not help in any meaningful way during the battle. Instead, he merely stood around, flexing his new gigantic muscles. After the rampage, Neal and George's bodies reverted back to their original size. Their heads, however, remained extremely gigantic for many years. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise, and they became highly compensated, successful models for Pep Boys.

 

Pep Boys: The Origin - Sadly, this doesn't look all that different than what we normally look like.

Sadly, this doesn't look all that different than what we normally look like.

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1954(2) genetics(16) inspirations(19) kicking ass(16) mythological critters(7)
Names Mentioned: godzilla(3) japan(2) pep boys(1) tokyo(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (2)

 
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A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin

Views: 150/5557
Added: 07/02/2009

In 1821 George and Neal had a very nice lunch with Charles Babbage, but at one point George brought out his laptop for a quick check of his Facebook account. Chuck was fascinated and wanted to know more. So we left him an extra computer that we had lying around so he could try to build his own. It took a while, but he eventually designed his Difference Machine, Difference Machine No. 2, and Analytical Machine but got distracted by lolcats, failblog and youtube. It took nearly 150 years before his Difference Machine was actually built. Now that's some procrastination that George and Neal haven't even been able to match yet. On a side note, in 1861 Babbage showed photographer Henry Pointer some LOLcats, Henry showed his friend Harry Whittier Frees and a meme was born...

 

A Meme is Born - LOLcats: The Origin - From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

From 1902, one of the earliest known LOLcats...

Photo by: George

Tags: 1821(1) 1902(2) cats(8) facebook(10) inspirations(19) inventions(48) origin(24) people of history(33) procrastination(5)
Names Mentioned: charles babbage(1) harry whittier frees(1) henry pointer(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Make the Trains Run on Thyme

Views: 143/4324
Added: 09/18/2009

Mussolini got his idea to tell everyone that he made the trains run on time after George and Neal invented a train that ran on thyme (Benito simply misunderstood us, but recognized a good idea when he heard one). We also invented a car that ran on oregano, a bus that ran on dill, and an airplane that ran on coriander.

Tags: food(45) inspirations(19) inventions(48) people of history(33)
Names Mentioned: benito mussolini(1)
Entry Logged By: George

 
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Apples freakin' hurt.

Views: 126/5052
Added: 12/10/2009

After hearing that Isaac Newton once disparaged Neal's great-great-great-great Grandfather's honor, George and Neal went back to 1666, and chucked an apple at his head. Incidentally, this led to the discovery of gravity by the somewhat confused scientist. George took this to mean that if he threw random things at people's heads, they, too, would have equally as grand epiphanies. Soon, Neal learned that George liked to randomly and without warning throw things at his head. The only discovery Neal had that day? Apples freakin' hurt. George was entirely satisfied with that epiphany.

Tags: 1666(1) inspirations(19) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13) people of history(33) science(28)
Names Mentioned: isaac newton(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal

 
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Hungry Eyes

Views: 203/9553
Added: 08/25/2012

In 1987, Neal organized a one-man a protest against Dial Corporation, demanding that they move their headquarters back to Chicago. Neal's rage was initiated by the split with Greyhound Lines (yes, the bus company - he really likes vehicles named after fast, skinny animals) and in anger he decided to boycott Dial soap and protest. Some people suggested he just follow Greyhound Lines, but his fear of Texas prevented him from heading to Dallas. So for 3 months Neal danced outside Dial Corporation's new headquarters in Phoenix, Arizona. While Neal's protest didn't garner any attention from either Dial Corporation or Greyhound Lines, it did inspire the title for Eleanor Bergstein's screenplay (up to then titled "A Corner for Baby"). "Dirty Dancing" became a huge hit, and Neal never received the credit for his inspiration. Surprisingly, George played the role of muse for part of the movie, too. John DeNicola and Franke Previte were inspired to write the song "Hungry Eyes" after meeting George shortly after a short circuit caused the teleportation device to erroneously reconstruct George with extra mouths where his eyes should have been (fortunately his eyes were relocated to his extra tongues, so he could see and scream at the same time).

 

Hungry Eyes - Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Luckily the teleportation device replaced all George's body parts in their proper locations before he needed to eat a meal. That would have looked pretty nasty.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1987(7) body parts(14) celebrities(69) chicago(10) inspirations(19) movies(40) music(26) neal funk(18) teleportation(10)
Names Mentioned: arizona(1) chicago(14) dallas(1) dial corporation(1) dirty dancing(1) eleanor bergstein(1) franke previte(1) greyhound lines(1) john denicola(1) phoenix(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Going all Einstein on your mouth...

Views: 159/4390
Added: 08/26/2012

In order to celebrate his genius, George and Neal went back in time to 1952 to meet Albert Einstein. Rather than being interested in scientific breakthroughs and new physics concepts of the new millennium, Einstein wished only to learn of our current fashion trends. Consequently, history was altered ever-so-slightly, and now getting your tongue pierced is commonly referred to as "going all Einstein on your mouth".

 

Going all Einstein on your mouth... - According to Einstein, "Ziss vas vorth de infection."

According to Einstein, "Ziss vas vorth de infection."

Photo by: Neal

Tags: 1952(3) einstein(3) george's fashion sense(12) inspirations(19) neal's fashion sense(20) science(28)
Names Mentioned: albert einstein(3)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (1)

 
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Yes, they really said that.

Views: 237/11590
Added: 11/30/2013

In 2024 George and Neal published a collection of lesser known quotes by famous people. They compiled this collection of quotes by painstakingly travelling back in time and stalking people until they said something profound (or not so much as the case may be). The book was a best seller... for them, which means it really didn't sell well at all. Here's a sampling of a few of the more than 300 insights they collected:

 

Yes, they really said that. - Volume 1 had over 1000 pages.  Volume 2 had 1200 pages.  Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages.  Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Volume 1 had over 1000 pages. Volume 2 had 1200 pages. Volume 3 had nearly 1500 pages. Unfortunately 3400 of the 3700 pages were blank.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2024(1) bette midler(4) cool(3) einstein(3) in good company(6) Inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) people of history(33) publications(14) revenge(6) rip-offs(3) rock stars(3) success!(13) time machine(37) we don't get it either(3)
Names Mentioned: abraham lincoln(2) alan alda(1) albert einstein(3) bette midler(5) bob dylan(1) camille paglia(1) carl sagan(1) cleopatra(2) colonel sanders(1) dom deluise(1) gandhi(1) george a. custer(1) j. s. bach(1) joan of ard(1) napoleon bonaparte(1) ozzy osborne(1) queen elizabeth ii(1) salvador dali(1) steven king(1) william wallace(1) wolfgang amadeus mozart(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Need More Conventions!!!

Views: 183/8829
Added: 12/08/2013

By 2031 there were so many comic conventions and expos (including Comic-Con, WizCon, APE, C2E2, WonderCon, Comikaze, C4, MegaCon, Sac-Con, Pros & Con, Com-Con-Chameleon, Thimblecon, thousands of local comic conventions, and many more) that George and Neal decided to found the first annual ComConCon. This convention was to promote awareness of other conventions. Participants were encouraged to come dressed as their favorite convention. For the first year Neal dressed as the Cleveland Comic, Card and Nostalgia Show and George dressed as Awesome Con DC. The annual ComConCons were a huge success until a small scandal in 2042 when the manager of long time ComConCon participant Illinois Government ComiCon, Ryan Hodge Blagokowski, was convicted of corruption and masterminding a scheme that hoodwinked millions of people out of hundreds of dollars (he claimed to be selling pre-release copies of the seventh book in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, however he was taking the money and had no intention of ever delivering the books, much like Martin himself...). This grand scam was dubbed the ComConCon Con. After spending 13 years behind bars(with 'A Dream of Spring' still listed as 'forthcoming'), R.H. Blagokowski was forever referred to as 'The ComConCon Con Con'.

 

Need More Conventions!!! - Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention.  The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Attendees quickly began a tradition of dressing up as their favorite Comic Convention. The costumes weren't quite as awe inspiring as those at said conventions, but there's a venue for everyone's passions!

Photo by: George

Tags: 2031(1) 2042(1) art is art(10) business ventures(44) charisma points(2) comics(2) competition(10) costumes(4) crimes & scams(16) government(16) inspirations(19) miley cyrus is not in this post in any way(7) organizations(15) politics(9) success!(13) super heroes(3) thimblecon(2) thimbles(2)
Names Mentioned: a dream of spring(1) a song of ice and fire(1) ape(1) awesome con dc(1) c2e2(1) c4(1) card and nostalgia show(1) cleveland comic(1) comic-con(1) comikaze(1) dan rostenkowski(1) george h. ryan(1) george r. r. martin(1) megacon(1) orville hodge(1) rod blagojevich(2) sac-con(1) wizcon(1) wondercon(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Lava Lamps: The Origin

Views: 285/7840
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1960 Neal invented the precursor to the lava lamp, affectionately called the 'Squeegee Glow Blob Light'. However in 1963 British accountant Edward Craven-Walker stole Neal's idea. Craven-Walker's variation was much more successful and in 1968 he was awarded a patent for his design, something denied Neal because Craven-Walker's lamps used a combination of mineral oil, paraffin wax, and carbon tetrachloride instead of Neal's disturbingly un-hygenic formula of sebum, ear wax, and pus. Someday we'll tell you about how George had the original idea for the Squirmle Magic Pet Worm, but we'll let you recover from the lava lamp thing first.

 

Lava Lamps: The Origin - It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much.  They had a tendency to explode.  And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place.  (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

It was best to not heat the Squeegee Glow Blob Light up too much. They had a tendency to explode. And there's nothing worse than flying shards of glass and Neal's sebum spraying all over the place. (Also, we're not quite sure what Neal left in the bottom of this particular Squeegee Glow Blob Light, but it appears to be circumcised...)

Photo by: George

Tags: 1960(1) 1963(2) 1968(4) blends(3) body parts(14) business ventures(44) first(3) inspirations(19) inventions(48) mental trauma(8) neal funk(18) people of history(33) they stole our ideas(7)
Names Mentioned: Edward Craven-Walker(1) lava lamp(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin

Views: 547/12917
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1906 George accidentally originated the popular phrase "When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade." This phrase was later published in Volume 26, Issue 5 of Men's Wear magazine in January 1909 before Elbert Hubbard used in in Reader's Digest in October 1927 and Dale Carnegie made it famous when he published it as: "When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade." Rule #6, at the end of Chapter 17 in Carnegie's "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" published in 1948. George is very proud of the success of this phrase, despite the fact that is has been misquoted right from the beginning. What George actually said was "When fate gives you lemurs, you should try to make lemurade." Neal also tried to capitalize on George's phrase, but it turns out that people really don't like the whole idea of lemurade.

 

When fate hands us a lemon let's try to make a lemonade: The Origin - We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on.  At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

We're really not sure why Neal's idea didn't catch on. At least the lemurs really like the blend of raspberries, strawberries, dragon fruit, blood orange, pomegranate, beets, red cabbage, rhubarb, currants, cherries, cranberries, cherry tomatoes, and rambuten.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1909(1) 1927(3) 1948(3) animals(16) blends(3) business ventures(44) etymology(4) first(3) in good company(6) inspirations(19) origin(24) people of history(33) rhubarb(4) smoothies(7) spellcheck wants to change rambuten to perambulate(1) they stole our ideas(7) things neal eats(9)
Names Mentioned: dale carnegie(2) elbert hubbard(1) how to stop worrying and start living(1) men's wear magazine(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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George the Merciless

Views: 142/2377
Added: 01/04/2016

On a visit to 1932 George and Neal met with Alex Raymond and related some of this Saga. Alex was inspired and two years later created Flash Gordon, a fairly accurate retelling of some of our adventures. Though the personalities are different, Raymond honored George and Neal by using their likenesses as the characters Ming the Merciless and Dr. Hans Zarkov respectively. In an unusual turn of events, George went on to portray Ming the Merciless in the 1934 serials, 1970s television show, the 2026 movie trilogy, the 2028 movie series reboot, and the 2034 100th anniversary live action extravaganza world tour.

 

George the Merciless - Ming really was one good looking dude.  Totally psychotic, but he made psychotic look good.

Ming really was one good looking dude. Totally psychotic, but he made psychotic look good.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1932(2) 1934(2) 1970s(3) 2026(2) 2028(2) 2034(2) Dr. Hans Zarkov(1) Flash Gordon(1) George(3) inspirations(19) Ming the Merciless(1) Neal(3) Not Flesh Gordon(1) Science Fiction Is Based on Reality(1)
Names Mentioned: Alex Raymond(1) Dr. Hans Zarkov(1) Flash Gordon(1) Ming the Merciless(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested)

Views: 104/2468
Added: 05/26/2016

In 1988 Neal's infatuation with John Cusack reached an all-time high. John was generally pretty cool with it, but during the filming of Say Anything Neal went just a little too far (apparently hiding in the back seat of John's 1976 Blue Chevy Malibu and screaming "I LOVED YOU IN BEING JOHN MALKOVICH!" was the final straw - on a side note, Neal's constant mention of that film is what made John decide to take the roll of Craig Schwartz 10 years later). Cusack ended up body slamming Neal just minutes before filming the iconic radio scene. If you look closely in that scene you can see Neal's foot twitching in the bottom right corner of the frame.

 

Say Anything (That Won't Get You Arrested) - Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.

Although John Cusack was able to complete the scene after body slamming Neal, Neal didn't get the message and pursued John for years, until he found out that John's sister was Ann Cusack and redirected his attentions her way.

Photo by: George

Tags: 1988(6) 1998(9) celebrities(69) forget this ever happened(9) groin kick(3) in your eyes(1) inspirations(19) mental trauma(8) neal(3) nightmares(2) ouch! that'll leave a mark(13)
Names Mentioned: Ann Cusack(1) john cusack(1) john malkovich(1) say anything(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)



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