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World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum

Views: 71963/7133
Added: 04/11/2014

In 2032 George decided to attempt the world record for the longest time continuously chewing a piece of gum (previously listed as 417 days). He was going strong and thought he was going to break the record when his jaw cramped up on day 210. Neal, being the supportive friend that he is, decided to take over and chewed that piece of gum for another 205 days. Just two days shy of the record Neal got hit in the face with an outboard motor (don't ask) and lost all his teeth, making it very difficult to continue chewing. Not wanting to fail when so close to their goal, George again took over with the chewing (although now the gum was a bit crunchy due to the bits of Neal's teeth embedded in the gooey wad). After another 112 days of chewing George and Neal were ecstatic to think they broke the world record for the longest time for consecutively chewing a piece of gum by an amazing 110 days! It was only later that they discovered the record only counted for a single person consecutively chewing gum. However, they did earn the world record for consecutive days of being thoroughly disgusting (57,229 days and counting).

 

World Record for Longest Time Chewing Gum - This snapshot was taken during one of the several days that we shared chewing responsibilities.

This snapshot was taken during one of the several days that we shared chewing responsibilities.

Photo by: George

Tags: 2032(2) oops(16) things neal eats(9) world records(1)
Entry Logged By: George - Photos by: George (1)

 
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Books Change Lives (In Terribly Manipulative Ways)!

Views: 657/10105
Added: 04/11/2014

In 1957, scientists discovered that children were suffering from extremely low self-esteem. To combat this, George and Neal created an award-winning series of books that sought to increase kids’ self esteem. Unfortunately, this plan backfired as by 2032, children everywhere had too much self-esteem, resulting in every child refusing to learn, do their chores, and even bathe (“Pshaw,” kids would say, “I smell just fine.”). Attempting to reverse the effect of their books, George and Neal wrote a separate series of books aimed at reducing self esteem (including, “Mommy Will Love You Forever, Unless…”; “Accidents Happen and You Are Proof!”; “Daddy’s Porsche (And Other Things We Could Have Afforded If We Didn’t Have You)”; “Nightmares Happen When God is Mad at You”; and “Let’s Buy Your Cemetery Plot (Because You'll Die Someday”). People are divided over whether these books caused the collapse of civilization in 6142.

 

Books Change Lives (In Terribly Manipulative Ways)! - It's nice that Neal got to pass on wisdom his father told him as a child.

It's nice that Neal got to pass on wisdom his father told him as a child.

Photo by: Neal

 

 - Pictured Above: Optimism.

Pictured Above: Optimism.

Photo by: Neal

 

 - Pictured Above: Unconditional Love.

Pictured Above: Unconditional Love.

Photo by: Neal - Caption by: George

Tags: 1957(1) 2032(2) 6142(1) award-winning(1) collapse of civilization(3) daddy's porsche(1) god is mad at you(1) nightmares(2) purchase a cemetery plot(1) self-esteem(1)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (3)



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