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We Got (no) Game!

Entry Logged on: February 08, 2021 to Part 4 by: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)
Page Views: 1701 - Times Displayed: 2461

Athletes. They command respect, admiration, and free Wheaties cereal. Having conquered every other field imaginable (and then creating fields not yet imagined and conquering those) George and Neal's traveled to 1990 to become world-renowned athletes.

Unfortunately, as neither George nor Neal possessed a modicum of athletic ability, they DID become world-renowned athletes... but not for the reasons they had hoped. Neal was the first baseball player to somehow break his pelvis when he hit himself in the face with a bat. George was banned from the world of golf, after tackling players repeatedly. He pretended he didn't know the rules. No one believed him.

Still, since at that time sports cards were a billion dollar industry, George and Neal managed to make a hefty sum releasing cards that reflected their most memorable moments of their short lived foray into sports.

 

We Got (no) Game! - Michael Jordan listed this as his favorite moment in sports history, even above his multiple championships.

Michael Jordan listed this as his favorite moment in sports history, even above his multiple championships.

Photo by: Neal

 

 - "Wait... wait...  wait... I can do this!" George said repeatedly.  He remained in this position for seventeen hours.

"Wait... wait... wait... I can do this!" George said repeatedly. He remained in this position for seventeen hours.

Photo by: Neal

Neal's daughter, Ayla, also threw her hat in the ring. Regrettably, it was a sumo ring.

 

 - "Where do I grab?  WHERE DO I GRAB???" Ayla said, before being spun around like a human pizza.

"Where do I grab? WHERE DO I GRAB???" Ayla said, before being spun around like a human pizza.

Photo by: Neal

Despite their great financial success, George and Neal considered erasing that timeline entirely. As they pondered the possibility, they were flooded with letters from children everywhere, thanking them. It turns out that George and Neal were inspirations - no child is embarrassed to try, and fail, at sports, since they could never do any worse than George and Neal. So yeah... George and Neal erased that timeline. The only evidence of this rare failure are some trading cards and a few very used jock straps. Aside: do not upset George or Neal, or they will mail you very used jock straps.

Tags: 1990(3) dodge ball(1) dodgeball(1) embarrassing(1) Michael Jordan(1) sports(24) trading cards(1) you reading these George?(1)
Names Mentioned: george(5) Michael Jordan(1) Neal(4)
Entry Logged By: Neal - Photos by: Neal (4)

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People, Places, Companies, Products, and Things mentioned that you may recognize from your reality: george(5), Michael Jordan(1), Neal(4)

Tags:
  • 1990 - (2 Other Entries)
    • Settling The Great Debate - In an attempt to settle the long-running debate whether human behavior is determined by a person’s genes or rather by their enviro...
    • Cookin' with Martha and Neal - In 1990, George began producing Martha Stewart's new cooking show, "Cookin' with Martha and Neal". The show ran for two very successful seasons; howev...
  • dodge ball - (No Other Entries)
  • dodgeball - (No Other Entries)
  • embarrassing - (No Other Entries)
  • Michael Jordan - (No Other Entries)
  • sports - (23 Other Entries)
    • Feats of Strength!™ - In 2000 BCE, Neal and George traveled to the English county of Wiltshire to participate in the yearly Feats of Strength!™. George lifted a cow (using ...
    • Synchronized Swimming - Remember Karate Kid? Well, George and Neal faced off against each other in a similar competition, except it was not Karate, but rather synchronized sw...
    • Kick-Ball Ball-Kick - Striking a blow for ball rights everywhere (Editor's note: I'm not touching that one - literally or figuratively), in 1973, George and Neal created th...
    • The Damnation that was Smurfs - In 2099 scientists astounded the world by developing genetically engineered little blue creatures that wore nothing but white pants and hats. OK, so ...
    • Oh God I Shot Momma - In 1949, George starred in the off-Broadway (well, off-off Broadway) play "Oh God I Shot Momma" as the corpse. On a completely different note, that sa...
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  • trading cards - (No Other Entries)
  • you reading these George? - (No Other Entries)
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