The Grand Saga of
George and Neal's Adventures
Through Time and Space (and Pudding)!

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In 1998 George and Neal partied like it was 1999. In 1999 George and Neal didn't party.

 

So very, very tired of endless "Beatles vs. Stones" arguments, in 2022, George and Neal decided to do the only logical thing to resolve the issue: go back in time and force John and Paul to join forces with Mick and Keith. Thus, the band "The Rolling Beatles" took the music scene by storm.

The music was so astonishingly good that other musicians gave up in defeat and besides the music of the Rolling Beatles, almost no other music has been produced since 1968.... Almost. Neal and George got such a rush from combining two musical groups that they went back in time to do the same thing a few more times over. Now, instead of debating "Beatles vs. Stones", the world debates "The Rolling Beatles vs. Hammer | Hendrix." Most agree, it's a toss-up.

(As an aside, most agree that it's best not to acknowledge Reznor/Hanson inappropriately named collaboration, "The Nine Inch Hanson Brothers" nor the Prince/Pearl Jam collaboration, "Prince Pearl".)

 

In 2016, George and Neal turned their attention to songwriting. They ghost-wrote a string of musical hits, including "We Built This City" by Starship (1985), "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by Baha Boys (2000), and "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka (1974). Their songs were all chart-topping, yet widely held as the worst songs ever made. (For a full list of their super-popular, super-terrible songs, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_music_considered_the_worst#Songs).

Prompted by their musical success, George and Neal released their own record, George and Neal Get Aural. Some people say the music was misunderstood, because it was way ahead of its time; but some people are idiots. The music was atrocious. The album was released on January 6, 1953. One day later, President Truman announced that the US developed the Hydrogen Bomb. George and Neal believe this to be no coincidence, and was in direct response to their album's release. Nevertheless, the album spawned three hit singles, "The Ballad of Clem (Who?)", "Misplaced Coinpurse", and "Party Like It's 1234 B.C." (the latter forming the basis for George and Neal's lawsuit against Prince for his song "Party Like It's 1999" despite the fact that they wrote the song in 2016 (well after Prince released his song) but released it in 1953.)

 

Tired of hipsters telling everyone "I liked that band before they were cool," George and Neal did them one better, going back in time and befriending many rock stars long before they were famous (sometimes immediately after they were born).

Many of the musicians they befriended wrote songs about George and Neal, though this is not commonly known. For example:

- Metallica's "Enter Sandman" was about the time George baby-sat James Hetfield, and sang him soothing lullabies. (Circa 1988).

- Prince's "When Doves Cry" was about the time Neal and Prince were playing basketball and Neal tripped on a bird. (Circa 1981)

- Frankie Valli's "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" was about the time George accidentally switched Frankie's eye drops with superglue. (Circa 1942)

- The Kingston Trio's "Where Have All The Flowers Gone?" is about the time Neal dated Dave Guard's mom, and being short on cash, Neal picked all the flowers from Guard's backyard to give to his mother. (Circa 1941)

- The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" is about the time George taught Brian Wilson's high school science class, and hit water with a vibrating tuning fork. (Circa 1958)

- Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is about the time Neal babysat a 9 year old Kurt Cobain. That day, Kurt discovered Neal's odd choice of deodorant. (Circa 1976)

- Pink Floyd's "Another Brick in the Wall"? All about the time George and Neal hired a young Roger Waters to assist in their short-lived construction business providing homes for the poor and evil (known as Habitat for Inhumanity). (Circa 1963)

Officially, George and Neal can both say, "We liked them before they were cool."

Officially, the rest of the world can secretly desire to punch them both in the face.

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