Thanks to the success of nasty food television shows such as Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and Worst Cooks in America, by 2019 there were no food critics willing to give any positive reviews to restaurants. Every review contained only scathing passages intended to make the restaurateur weep openly and question his or her life choices. For example, one restaurant (coincidentally, owned by George) was hit with this review: "I would have given it zero stars, but I refused to use the word "star" in this review for fear there was a scintilla suggesting anything redeeming about the food, atmosphere, or even oxygen found within this establishment."
Ouch. To combat this level of negativity, that same year George and Neal began reviewing restaurants, choosing only to give positive reviews. Quote Neal, "You can find the good in anything, if you look hard enough." By way of proof, see George and Neal's review of Bits 'O Mostly Chicken Restaurant ("The food was edible"); Oscar's Stench Hut ("The server gave me food while I was there"); M.C. Hammer's Chow House ("I appreciated that they did not lock the bathroom when I got food poisoning, and the hospital they directed me to was quite serviceable"); and I Made It Out Of Clay: A Unique Israeli Restaurant Experience ("The food was dry and ready.")
In 1966 George and Neal decided to visit the year 0, but the adventures they had in year 0 were so debaucherous that all reference to the year has been stricken from historical records.
In 2039 the game Tic Tac Toe had a huge resurgence in popularity when Neal discovered that the game had a hidden Easter Egg, where you could actually play on the lines instead of the squares. This opened up many new strategies, that for centuries, had been hidden and remained unexplored. In order to cash in on the Tic Tac Toe hype, George partnered with Ferrero SpA candy company on a new line of candy. Tic Tac Toes were less popular than their minty counterparts, but they sold reasonably well for most of the next decade.
This was the variety pack. Some of the most popular flavors, like Hyperhidrosis, Corns, and Burst Blister, came in their own packaging.
Photo by: George
The Grand Saga of George and Neal's Adventures through Time and Space (and Pudding)! is fully supported by... Well, nothing currently. We recently added ads (is that redundantly repetitive?) to our site in the hopes that we can earn a little bit of cash to pay to keep this site running. You see, all the piles and piles of money we make through our various business ventures, inventions, good fortune, and, ahem, other various schemes goes right back into funding for more research, travels, lawsuits, and general debauchery. So you see, there's nothing really left to keep this website going.
So, if you feel so inclined, you may graciously donate your organs, blood, or other bodily fluids to keep our website going. Or you could just send us a few bucks via PayPal, we're pretty easy like that (that's what she said). In return you'll gain the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping to educate millions and billions of individual cells (which really amounts to only a fraction of a person since it is estimated that the brain contains somewhere between 80-120 billion nerve cells (neurons), and neurons only make up about 50% of the cells in a human brain). Oh, and if you so request, we might include you in a future adventure (or maybe a past one).
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Thanks for reading, and we hope you're not too traumatized after your visit.